Zombie Island Massacre

First off trading standards should be prosecuting the makers of this film. It clearly states the words "Zombie" and "Massacre" in it's title ! Where on earth are the zombies??? And as for a "massacre" -all we get is a group of instantly fogetable characters slowly waddling about an island ...well a crap set ..and later a house ...before being bumped off one by one by irate local natives ! Awful story which tries to have a drug-smuggling related twist at the end but frankly you couldn't give a toss by then . No gore , no zombies just an awful boring , tedious film with nothing of remote interest in it's plot or anything. ...there's nothing even ironically funny in its awfulness to redeem it. Awful poo film.

my favorite kind of horror film is a zombie film. so i ordered ZOMBIE ISLAND MASSACRE from my local store, and when it arrived, my god i couldn't wait to watch it. when the film ended and i awoke, i was bitterly disappointed. "where were the zombies?" i mused. "why does this have an 18 certificate?" (equivalent to an R or even an NR in the USA) this film is a PG if ever i saw one. Labyrinth and Legend are scarier than this pile of rubbish. if you want a good zombie flick i recommend either Dawn of the Dead or Zombie Flesh Eaters. Lots of Zombies, lots of Violence & Blood --- nice.

**Possible Spolers Ahead** This ranks with REVENGE OF THE DEAD as one of the poorest "zombie" flicks ever made. It has one of the worst "plot twists" since SHRIEK OF THE MUTILATED; this, and the movie overall, will make you feel cheated. There are only two reasons to watch this grade-z turkey, and both of them are hanging off of Rita Jenrette's chest. So there!

American tourists decide to take a Caribbean bus ride to attend a possibly authentic voodoo ceremony, afterward falling prey to predators cloaked in darkness attacking when they are at their most vulnerable. Who are these people? Are they the "voodoo people" with a hidden, hostile agenda? Or, are these monsters of a different kind? Are they in fact some sort of zombies that are terrorizing these foreigners for possibly invading their turf? Essentially a murder spree, as victims are picked off one or two at a time when separated from the group..by even the smallest distance. The killers are barely visible, entwined with leaves and barely shown on screen thanks to a camera which attempts to avoid the predators as much as possible. The mystery of who they are is VERY underwhelming, and a great many of the kills are rather lamely executed(..the decapitation is incredibly dopey as the head falls from the neck before the machete even touches it). Most of the violence is off screen, but when daggers penetrate victims, we see close-ups of the weapon inside the body with limited blood shed(..another scene has a couple landing in a pit layered with wooden spikes). There are some effective shot gun sequences where victims are blasted in the torso after releasing their spears. Paul(David Broadnax), is a black photographer who might be more than he appears, but another amongst the group is also hiding something as well. Steve(Tom Cantrell)is the other male of the group who takes a vital role in guiding them out of a difficult situation. When their bus has been interfered with after the zombie ritual, the driver goes for help, vanishing leaving the group to fend for themselves. That is when Paul and Steve take charge, leading the group to a lavish unoccupied villa not too far away..the journey to get there has casualties. The premise has possibilities, but the pace is lethargic and the characters uninteresting. The death sequences never achieve a visceral thrill despite the opportunistic story-line of tourists trapped in a harrowing fight for survival in an unfamiliar place. The low budget obviously had something to do with the ineffectiveness of it all. It's obvious, due to her hideous performance as Sandy, that Rita Jenrette was hired for her breasts, which greet us in a shower sequence and a little later when her boyfriend, Joe(Ian McMillan)wants to make out in the lower deck of a yacht. Important character, Connie(Diane Clayre Holub), who conveniently saw the villa and communicated it's whereabouts to the rest of the group, has an important agenda that will play out at the end in the climactic showdown. The attempts at character development and the explanation for the events that transpire, fall positively flat. The tourists themselves as a collective unit(..other than the two men that lead when the going gets tough)nag and whine incessantly for the duration, not unusual in these types of films because when they are eventually killed you simply could care less.

In the early 1980s, Rita Jenrette posed for Playboy and exposed her Congressman husband as a swinger and created a scandal. She tried numerous ways to capitalize on her dubious fame, and one of them was this movie. The best part of this movie is the first ten minutes or so, when Rita is * taking a bath and making love to her boyfriend. Rita and her boyfriend go to the Carribean, and take a tourist trip to some voodoo island where they witness a voodoo ritual that is very lame compared to the one with James Bond in Live and Let Die. After the ritual, the various tourists who went there on an old school bus want to get back to their hotel, but the bus is broken down, and the driver is missing. Meanwhile the Voodoo Priest and the tour guide are making some kind of voodoo pact that involves sacrificing the tourists in order to boost business. Throw in drug dealers and five million dollars in cash, and this movie is a lot more like an episode of MIAMI VICE than a horror movie. No zombies are in this movie.

This movie gives alternate meaning to the designation horror film. The horror lies in the very idea that it was conceived and executed at all. If you ever wondered if a film could be so bad that it would make Ed Wood turn over in his grave, wonder no more. This is it. The acting is so pathetic that it's comical. I'd like to meet the person who told any of these people that they could act. She/he is undoubtedly the best con artist going. One of the challenges of acting in a horror film is being able to react believably under the extreme and fantastic circumstances of the story. These actors could not say hello without seeming unnatural or affected. My advice to all readers is that you watch this movie when you are feeling depressed. It will make you laugh yourself silly and restore you self esteem. It's Prozac without the prescription.

I saw "Zombie Island Massacre," because a friend of mine owned it. Her aunt is in that movie as "Barbie." We had to see it. So we checked it out, and I have to say, if you can look past a lot of cheese, it's a great movie. A large group of tourists head off to an island in the Carribean, only to come across voodoo, disaster, and zombies! The zombies look more like natives of the island, though, but then think of it as a cannibal movie without the scenes of eating. Eventually, a surviving group makes it to a house, and they meet up with this old guy. There are some weird subplots, but ignore them if you like. Not too much gore at all, but a lot of fun. For acquired tastes.

With a name that brings visions of a Fulci-esque living dead flick to mind, a plot that involves all the classic ingredients of a good and hearty slasher film and an ending thats just, well...a little bizarre to say the least, ZIM seemingly has a lot to offer. But the burning question is does it manage to deliver... A group of happy go lucky tourists on an exotic Caribbean holiday take a coach trip to the creepy Island of 'San Marie'. Upon arrival they witness a strange ritual, in which, a deceased native is amazingly re-animated as some kind of strange zombie. Soon after the voodoo mass has ended, a randy couple sneak off into the remote woodland to indulge in some strictly 'after hours' activities. Once they're alone they are brutally murdered by an unseen psycho with a large club and unusually heavy breath(of course). As the rest of the holiday makers return to their coach they find that the driver has mysteriously disappeared. The tour guide sets out to find him, but he to does not return. Before long the group find themselves stranded in a secluded mansion where they are savagely stalked and attacked one by one... To be honest ZIM is a bit of a let down in every respect. Released at a time when the zombie and slasher flick were at their peak, David Broadnaux's effort seems to linger aimlessly in the middle of the genres. At first glance you could be forgiven for thinking this was another ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS wannabe. It has the spooky voodoo setting; the suggestive name and a coach load of would be victims to disembowel! But sadly (for living dead fanatics)there's not a zombie in sight throughout. For the hack and slash fans among us there's the classic heavy breathe povs, the chance to guess who's the killer and who's next on his/her list and even the opening scene shows a masked assailant creeping up on a soap sud splattered lass, who's relaxing in the shower no less! But once you've got used to the fact you're watching a typical early eighties slash fest, the bizarre ending springs from out of nowhere and leaves you feeling a little cheated. It could be argued that originality was the aim, but genre fans like myself generally expect to receive what we're offered. On the plus side there's a nice sound track and some refreshing Caribbean scenery that makes a change. But sadly the acting is shamefully mediocre and there's no gore, suspense or any attempt at lifting this flick above it's clearly standard surroundings. To be fair it's worth watching at least once, just as long as you take my advice and dont expect too much.

The title of a movie should have some connection to the contents. The director seems to have forgotten this. The acting was fine, the feel was spooky and gratuitous breasts are always nice but where are all the zombies that massacre people? In addition to the other movie suggestions, I would add, Hell of the Living Dead (aka Virus) http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0082559/ and any of the Romero zombie flicks. For my taste, all that would have been required for this movie to be decent would be to add at least a dozen zombies and a confrontation between them and the visitors to the island.

What an awful movie. I can honestly say that this is the worst motion picture i've ever seen, without question. Were it not for the laughter that this movie induces by lulling viewers into a state of temporary insanity, I guarantee that there would be mass-riots in protest of this film.