Yoga Hosers

source: Yoga Hosers

If you were a fan of marvel's infinity war, you're going to be left speechless by this tasty morsel. Yoga hosers is stunning and brave political commentary in these turbulent and trying times. Bold and unapologetic, which is striking for a film about canada, this film can and should be watched as the shawshank for the millennial generation. If tusk was a perfect metaphor for animal rights activism, Yoga hosers stares unblinkingly into the political climate of modern Canada, diving into the real issues: metaphorical tiny sauerkraut filled brat clones of nazi scientists, and the scourge of art criticism which drives good men to evil. the acting was phenomenal, with Depp again reprising his role as Guy Lapointe, again with the same delicacy and skill expected by such a seasoned talent. The main standout however was Kevin smith, we knew he could direct, but man, what a fantastic actor. The Stan Lee cameo was also the best in any marvel movie thus far, I would explain it, but I don't want to spoil one of the most heart wrenching scenes since Marley and me. The best part, this movie is loosely based on true events, Adrien Arcand being a real person who apparently actually wanted to send Jewish Canadians to the Hudson bay. I had initially thought that this part of the film was a bit far fetched for such a grounded work, however it's just another example of reality being stranger than fiction. don't be sorry about liking this film, it's not the yoga way.

I love Kevin Smith. Seriously think he's one of the most engaging, funny, clever people going around. I've been a regular at his Smodcasts, live shows, q&a's, watched all his movies, twitter feed etc etc, so it pains me to say that this is one of the biggest pieces of sh!t I have ever seen. An in joke wankfeast from start to finish, I gave it 2 stars rather than one only to honour the memory of his early funny films and what an all round good dude he seems to be in general. It's great that Kev has the money to do whatever and indulge whoever the * he wants, I'd love to have that life too. But I don't, so I had to put up with wasting 90 minutes of my life being smacked around by the snotty end of Big Kev's fuckstick. The most entertaining part was Ralph Gorman doing his Hollywood BabbleOn schtick without having to do call outs to drunken white trash from the third world suburbs of bumfuck Idaho. When Kevin announced his retirement from movies I was disappointed, but after this unfunny self indulgent Wankapalooza, I'd rather he stuck to the talk circuit where he's still awesome as hell.

Okay, let me start by saying that I grew up o Kevin Smith movies. To this day i love DOGMA and Chasing Amy. But this movie was just terrible, I mean freaking terrible. The puns, the story line, the freaking bratwursts, the acting, the direction... what the hell was Kevin Smith thinking? Harley Quinn Smith and lily-Rose Depp do have potential if given a good vehicle to prove it, Yoga Hosers was NOT that vehicle. But I will say tat it was at least more enjoyable than Ghostbusters (2016). Because like many films before it, Yoga Hosers is proud to be such a bad movie, while GB thought of itself as a great movie and is nothing of the sort.

I know Kevin Smith is the type of guy that does have a sense of humor, and is good at telling stories that is based on his life. This is basically a montage of stuff put together by Kevin Smith to promote his daughter and to build a bond with Johnny Depp. So he tries very hard to make it funny, edgy, slick, hip, angsty and cool. But it's all just so darn annoying and contrived, and let me tell you...This is a very annoying movie to sit through. I can see what Kevin Smith was trying to do, at least for some of it but it falters in every level. From the introduction of the characters, which he probably tried to rip off of Scott Pilgrim to the awful dialogue. Watching this is like watching an adult trying to relive he teenage years but more difficult to watch. And the two duo which is composed of Kevin Smith's daughter and Johnny Depp's daughter. And they are more irritating and annoying to watch than the duo from "Ghost World". At least in "Ghost World" it had a purpose but this one does not. And most of the screen time is taken up with the teenage duo doing awkward yoga and awkward singing. It's fine if people want to do these kinds of stuff during their free time but it doesn't mean it's pleasant to watch. You know those people that thinks they are so much cooler than everyone else, so they gossip and talks trash about everyone except the ones that genuinely cares about them. Well that is the two characters in this, sure teenagers can do dumb things. I use to do dumb things as well, but the duo just go beyond that in this. They aren't evil teens just very very very annoying to watch teens. If they did dumb stuff and it was at least clever or funny than there would be a difference. You as an audience won't get a single laugh out of this. Even the laughter from the characters in this flick seemed so forced and fake. As a matter of fact, everything about this movie seemed forced. Johnny's daughter will probably make it to stardom thanks to her father's resources and connections. But I can't say the same for Kevin Smith's daughter. This whole movie is a montage of "hey guys look what my daughter can do". Overall, if you want to waste time getting annoyed and irritated for almost an hour and 30 minutes than give this a try. If not, then I highly recommend you stay away from this one. 2/10

In Kevin Smith's "Yoga Hosers," his second addition to his ambitious True North Trilogy, a Canadian, gender-swapped clerks is born! And let there be no mistake, I don't mean that in a "damn, they did what to Ghostbusters?!" kind of way, I mean it in the most awesome way there is. It was truly an awesome film, even with some cameos, (Jason Mewes as a rogue cop, Johnny Depp reprising his Oscar-wining role as Guy LaPointe, and the best of all, Stan Lee as an annoyed police dispatcher!) and a nod to his brain-child clerks. When the Colleens are destroying the Bratzis, Harley Quinn yells "I'm not even supposed to be her today!" And don't forget the insanely accurate impressions done by Ralph Garman's time displaced Canadian third Reich leader, including Sylvester Stallone and I believe Martin Short. Not sure, it sounded like him. I read something that said "Kevin Smith's Yoga Hosers is an apology to the critics." Don't listen to that, man. The critics should be apologizing to you.

WOW - that's it; that's my review. Thank you & good night! Nepotism alert! Nepotism alert! Hey Kevin, please give me my ten bucks, thanks man. Kevin Smith made a student film starring his friends and family. How does this crap get made?! I'll tell you what though, you will be seeing a lot more of Johnny's daughter, she is a great actress (that's pretty much the only positive I've got) Now let me get to this stinkfest: Two Colleen's run a convenience store in Canada(oddly enough they can't speak a lick of Canadian, eh.) They fall in love with a young Brad Pitt wannabe who wants to sacrifice them (well, of course he does)& then the Nazi sausages attack. These guys are the wurst. This is what the movie is a boot.

Let me say that first and foremost you should absolutely go see this movie if you're a fan of Kevin Smith movies. Being a fan of his many podcasts and TV shows doesn't hurt either because while this is a fun movie, at no point did I as an audience member forget that I was actively watching a Kevin smith film. The best part of this film for me was that it was abundantly clear that the people on set involved in this movie were having a good time making it which is absolutely refreshing. The only downside, though minor, was that it didn't really pull me into the universe that this film lives within as much as it could have. But hey! GO SEE THIS MOVIE AND FIND YOUR OWN OPINION OF IT! Mr.Smith, onto Moosejaws please :)

I have seen reviews here bashing the movie. Yoga Hosers is no Godfather. This is obvious. I have been watching Kevin Smith movies for nearly 25 years. Instead, look at the fun the actors are having. This movie stars Johnny Depp, his kids, with Kevin Smiths daughter, Johnny Depp's ex girlfriend and mother of his children, Kevin Smith and wife, Jason Mewes, Stan The Man Lee....all of these people friends. It was done for fun, and to poke fun at Canada and millenial culture. If I had the pull and the money, I'd do it too. Kevin Smith does this, every now and then grabs up his friends and makes something silly, and goes back to making the movies that earn huge amounts of money. Does no one remember the line from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back? You make the safe film, then you make the art film. And sometimes, you make a film for your friends. That is Kevin Smith. Sometimes he just wants to have fun with his friends. The relationship Kevin Smith has with his daughter is one that every father should dream of having. Or am I the only one moved by seeing Harley Quinn Smith in tears when Kevin Smith gave her the bat used by Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad as a gift? And Depp. It is like he has a side of him that reasonates with Kevin Smith. He plays a lot of roles in movies, but seeing him onscreen during one scene with his daughter and cracking wise that she may not be old enough for what he is talking about was great. The movie is not in my top fifty, but it was nice to see friends and family making jokes and enjoying themselves.

Saw the "premier" in NJ. First off, let me say Kevin Smith seems like a genuinely good dude. Actually - he is undoubtedly a great dude. Listening to him speak about film and the whole process was inspiring. It seemed like I was hearing one of my buddies talk. Very down to earth- but at the same time he'll throw out something ridiculous - but hilarious. Listening to him speak was arguably better than the movie. For the record- I wouldn't consider myself a HUGE Kevin Smith fan. I like him- but you know. I'm not one of the die hard Kevin Smith fans. I respect the hell out of him. I must admit though, I haven't seen his latest films. "Yoga Hosers" had its moments. Johnny Depp is almost unrecognizable and had everyone laughing. For him to go from Black Mass to this is mind-boggling. Talk about versatility. The two main girls might not sit well with people - but with Mr Smiths prologue - I understood their performances. They are supposed to be brats who are obsessed with their cell phones. The movie has a bunch of cameos whom people will recognize from the past and enjoy seeing again. It also had a cool 80's arcade vibe. It's obviously not meant to receive Oscars or critical acclaim; but, nevertheless, it's a fun flick- with some interesting performances. The story itself is silly- in that unique Kevin Smith way. I did feel bad after at the Q and A when he kept saying he was a crappy filmmaker and that he has no skill (comparing himself to Tarantino). I know he's being humble, but it just didn't seem right hearing that. Clerks, Dogma, Mallrats? Classics man. He represents NJ well. I wanted to shout out but I was working. I think he just felt it was important to acknowledge the haters, and I respect that. So- yeah. This is a tough movie to review. The best way to put it - it's so bad it's good. I think that's the point. It definitely had funny moments. Even some creepy ones. It is a comedy though - before anything else. It's a movie for all ages really. The theater was sold out and cracking up. I do kinda wish they used less CGI - but for this type of story - it is somewhat necessary. It's a shame people have labeled it as "a play date" just because of the father /daughter + father/daughter thing. That's what Mr. Smith said at least. Overall, if you're feeling up for a weird, funny B - movie and you're a fan of Kevin Smith and Johnny Depp- I suppose it's worth a watch. I had a good time. Like I said- it's so bad it's good. 6/10 P.S. Very cool to learn Kevin Smith and I were born at the same hospital. Riverview Medical Center.