Wicked Witches

source: Wicked Witches

I liked the posters I'd seen online in many places and thought I'd give it a look. I wasn't expecting much as knew was a low budget first time film for the directors. The Pickering Brothers. ( No relation to Ronnie Pickering I hope!! Ha ha) Well. Managed to struggle through it. It was a challenge. The script in poor and the whole film suffers from scenes that really drag on and feel like padding out the film to make a feature length. Pointlessly long scenes. The main character does his best with the script and his acting is fair considering. He makes some stupendously stupid decisions ....but it's a horror film so guess you have to leave some logic at the door. His friend Ian acts so wooden and oddly but he just ignored it .......and his bad acting also. Later on when he's supposed to be having sex with a witch he looks hilarious and as if he is just doing push ups. Ha. The blonde witch is hot the one from the shop. But the rest aren't much to look at so how they are supposed to be temptresses is a stretch. So. For the budget and as first time directors I'll add couple of points. Another point for the blonde babe and one for the pretty good effects and use of lots of blood. I guess they made a film far better than many I have seen. It's watchable in places tedious in others. But credit to them for getting it made and for the poster that was very well made. (The one with the blonde babe in) . ...yes I'm obsessed. Ha ha. The music was ok......except for the friends bands that they are obviously trying to plug. But their amateurish wailings were too distracting and served no purpose other than to showcase .... Pointless and blatant. Maybe I'll check out their next film to see if it's better. Not the worst movie ever seen that's for sure. As some plonker suggested. Ha ha. Did I mention the hot blonde?

After being thrown out of his home by his wife, Mark finds himself back at a place he knew in his childhood called Dumpling Farm. His old friend Ian, who never left, is possessed by a group demonic, flesh-eating witches, who now want to trap and devour Mark. The debut feature for the Pickering brothers, this film was originally titled The Witches of Dumpling Farm. If I've learned anything from my years of watching movies, it's don't do drugs in the woods with witches. I say this, and I've put myself in real life situations like the characters in the film. Luckily, I survived to tell you about it. There's not a ton of story here or even anyone likable to get behind and the witches have unexplained motivations, other than they like to trap and eat men. There are some decent effects, though and some really nice shots, such as the highway of parked cars that stretches far and wide. I will say that this feature looks better than most of the streaming horror choices that you'll find. There's definitely some talent behind the lens and it will be interesting to see where the Pickerings take their talent next.

Greetings and salutations, and welcome to my review of 2018s The Witches of Dumpling Farm: AKA Wicked Witches. The Story gets a 0 out of 2: There are too many holes in this weakly scripted tale. Too many to mention, but I'll give one as an example. Our anti-hero has been kicked out of his family home and is seeking alternative accommodation. Luckily he finds an ad in the paper, he telephones it, and the guy on the other end announces the room's his if he wants it. We later find out that these two, who acted as strangers on the phone, were formerly besties. Yeah right! The Pickering Brothers, who wrote and directed this travesty, are terrible at crafting personalities. Which constitutes the reason they fill most of the screen time with drug-taking and overweight middle-aged has-been idiots. For the most part, it looks like they merely asked the guys to be themselves. The witches themselves are NOT witches. They are monster witches who want to devour your flesh and have the gnashers to do so. It's another easy out for our unimaginative writers. All these women do is troll about, supposedly looking awesomely beautiful: Shame they look like cheap hookers who shop at Primark. They scream strangely and annoyingly, then show off their terrible dentistry before devouring your face. The directors even dared to steal from The Blair Witch Project (or are they calling it "Paying Tribute To"(?)) When the massacre scene begins, we see loads of scary twigs hanging up. Ooh, I'm shivering in my booties. It wouldn't surprise me if the boring bro's put this film together to show off their musical skills. Yep, on top of being bad film-makers, they're a band. But don't worry, their music is marginally better than this film. But not to miss a trick or two; they get their crappier music mates to add to the soundtrack. A marvellous way to get your songs to stand out more. They even used the festival they played at, DumpFest - yeah, that's right, "Worst Name For A Festival EVER!" They slid in drone shots of the DumpFest patrons parking their cars. The cue of automobiles was to show how many guests were ar the Awesome House Warming Party they were throwing. Trouble is when you regard the crowd of party-goers, you realise there's must be seven cars to one guest. I love it when film-makers produce this kind of mistake. Unintentional giggles are great. The Direction and Pace receive a 0.25 out of 4: The direction actually scores some points as there are some decent aerial shots, thanks to the drone pilot. There's even one decent shot of the car and witch chase when we see the fleeing car zoom past a wheat field in the inky night. It's only on for a second, but it's notable because the rest is so dull. The Acting gets a 0.25 out of 2: The leading actor does try giving the audience something interesting. But it's way too little, and he's not an appealing character. And, my Enjoyment level hits a 0 out of 2: Thank god for the distraction of the internet. Without it, I wouldn't have made it through this abomination of a film. The total scores give The Dumpy Witches a 0.5 out of 10: I sat through this film so you don't have to. Enough said! Floss those teeth, get rid of all the bloody flesh, jump on your broomstick and fly over to my Absolute Horror list to see where this terrible film ranks. But moreover, to discover something better to watch.

Hearing about an open property, a man moves out to a remote house in the British countryside to forget his failed marriage and tries to help the landowner look after the house, only to slowly realize the strange dreams of demonic flesh-eating witches has come true and must try to get away alive. This one ended up with a lot to like about it. One of the strongest elements featured here is a wholly enjoyable setup that is quite fun at slowly delving into the unraveling threat. The location, being out in the countryside away from civilization surrounded by the voices of nature, gets this going rather nicely with the rugged lifestyle shown as a big contrast to the civilized lifestyle he's used to. That unfamiliarity is what allows him to miss many of the eerie signs that something's going on, including the warnings about staying out of certain rooms, the creepy attitude of the landlord watching over him or the glances cast at him with obvious sinister intent which he clearly misses the point but do manage to provide a creepy setup alongside the brief mentions of male disappearances in the area no one else notices. With that setup in place, the supernatural influxes that emerge are quite chilling and work rather well. The various dreams he has become far grander and more terrifying as they continue, ranging from the girl emerging from the field and screaming demonically to chasing her through the woods before turning into the terrifying witch and biting his face off to the trip appearing in his room in the demonic incantation screaming at him. This escalating series of scenes go so well with the utterly fantastic revelation scene after the party where they show their real form and massacre the guests in absolutely graphic manners, getting in plenty of gore as well as using the woodlands setting and fantastic practical make-up on the witches to fantastic effect. Finishing with a stellar confrontation at the house which has plenty of fun and bloodshed featured, it ends the film on a high-note and gives this plenty to like about it. There are a few parts to this one that does hold it back. One of the biggest features is a strong and somewhat notable series of character traits that don't seem to go together at all. The fact that the one character who's clearing in league with the witches from the very beginning but is revealed to be so at the end seems to be completely out of character since that means the secretive behavior and weirdness the display is completely confusing and unnecessary. There's little need or purpose as to what's going on, especially with the result being the guys' intended slaughter anyway so the secret stays hidden and it all becomes quite pointless to act like that. That, in essence, leads to the other strong flaw here in the generally weak and underwhelming storyline at play that leaves so much to be desired here. Not only are the characters here completely lacking in rationality, but hardly anything else really makes sense at all starting with the whole concept of the coven and how they need new victims. This is never made clear if he's a specific target sought out intentionally or stumbled upon on ongoing operation against his knowledge as the manner of how he gets involved here makes no sense, much like the existence of the coven operating in the area without anyone else noticing since there's mention of what they've been doing with the disappearances yet nothing else comes out about it. These here are what holds the film back. Rated R: Graphic Language, Graphic Violence and drug use.

The film is quite perplexing, much like it's main character's situation. The main character isn't completely likable, more his mannerisms and presence. There isn't much character development that pushes him into a likable place. That being said he is very much a strong protagonist when pitted against the evil he is facing. That may have been intentional or it could have been a flaw in writing. I don't know. For how they are written, "Wicked Witches" has a strong cast. The acting is very deliberate, it is very clear this is the direction the Pickering Brothers wanted to go. The acting is quality and there is strong character development- again- for what has been written of them. Even though most characters are surface only, and the witches are as unexplained as any nightmare gallery can be, I still fell under "Wicked Witches" spell. However I didn't realize it until the second half of the movie. As for the horror elements, the beginning is pretty tame, mostly melodrama, dream-like atmospheric stuff and jump scares. And just an overall mesmerizing weirdness. And again that may have been intentional, I can't say for sure. Now the second half kicks in to high gear, and all the wicked witchiness shows up. The horror is gory and violent. The blood flows in celebratorial fashion. The creature design is sweet and all the effects are practical. Check this one out for sure.

Missing a script. At least I think that's what is wrong with this film. It was awful and ridiculous. The basic idea could be cool; the filming and acting wasn't horrible; just missing anything to tie it together. 20 minutes of drugs; 20 minutes of this, that, and the other thing. Just doesn't get there.

Where to start....the plot was awful and without direction. The acting was amateurish and borderline comedy. There was no fluidity to the scenes and it jumped around leaving me wondering if I had dozed off and missed something. The special effects were very bad. I would not recommend this til.to anyone.

Horrible turned it off after 10 min. Lousy acting premise and production

Right, well let's me just start out by saying that "The Witches of Dumpling Farm" wasn't exactly what I had hoped it would be. I sat down to watch this 2019 movie from writers Mark Pickering and Martin J Pickering with the understanding that this was going to be a horror movie. While "The Witches of Dumpling Farm" did have some horror elements to it, it was quite far from being an actual scary horror movie. Quite far indeed. This is not a very long movie, but it felt like I was sitting through a 3 hour long movie. Why? Well, because the pacing of the storyline was just atrociously slow. It took forever to go from A to B, and very little of any interest happened along the way. Most of the movie was just close ups of people looking at each other awkwardly, and it felt like 90% of the movie was just filler to make it become a feature length movie. The storyline was too simplistic to provide proper entertainment, and there weren't any surprises along the way. It was just a straight forward monotonous ride. The acting in the movie was adequate, taking into consideration the extreme limitations that was enforced on the actors and actresses in terms of a lousy script and storyline, and having essentially pointless characters to work with. All in all, "The Witches of Dumpling Farm" wasn't a particularly entertaining or enjoyable movie, nor was it a particularly memorable movie. I managed to sit through it, but was hard pressed to keeping my focus, and I will never return to watch it a second time around. My rating of "The Witches of Dumpling Farm" is a mere three out of ten stars.