When Time Ran Out...

Trailer—When Time Ran Out...

Geriatric hysteria, helmed by a man who must've been dozing in his rocking chair. Producer Irwin Allen, at this point in his career willing to try anything--even rehashing scenes from his hit "The Poseidon Adventure"--sadly hits an all-time low. Hilariously advertised as a love story between Paul Newman and Jacqueline Bisset, this low-brow disaster movie really concerns an erupting volcano and the South Pacific island resort in its path. The scenarists can't be bothered with too much lovemaking, for their real purpose is to boil down the characters in molten lava. Deadly and depressing--not unintentionally funny or campy (no such luck); the poor actors on-screen (including a few "Poseidon" alumni) are being humiliated, and worse they don't even seem aware of it. Allen proves himself to be the '80s equivalent of Ed Wood, with this entry usurping even "The Swarm" to become his All-Time Champ of Cinema Sludge.

In my rankings of Newman's output, this is rock bottom. I'm a big fan and my heart goes out to the man, retrospectively, because he will have known from day one that he had become embroiled in the turkey of all turkeys. Almost every aspect of the film is woeful. The set, the melodrama, the 2-dimensional characters, the frankly appalling acting from almost everyone. Newman stands head an shoulders above the others, but even he looks uncomfortable the whole way through as cliché is piled on cliché. Do you know, the climax is an interminable crossing a wooden bridge over a lava flow with people falling through slats and every other predictable event you can imagine. But the funniest moment is after that when the survivors are in a cave and one of the female bit parts is standing there as if she's at a cocktail party. They must have all have been giving up by then.

A volcano creates problems. Cool explosive special effects, a knockout Lalo Schifrin score, William Holden being pleasing as always and a well played sense of doom in the opening sections of the film. There are reasons to watch! Paul Newman/James Franciscus go down in that craft to the very centre of the volcano. This scene alone makes the whole film worthwhile: very well done and full of suspense! All the scenes with William Holden and uncomfortable Franciscus together are well played. In a nutshell: the movie is not perfect but something I return to with repeat viewings all the time.

Another funny film by Irwin Allen. This one is a hoot to watch. I really like the blue screen effect whenever the lava is shown--lol. If it has Shelia Matthews in the cast, you can be sure that it is going to be a funny film, especially if it is a drama. The ending with the volcano is hilarious--I did not know that volcanos could shoot a fireball that far away and still hit the target head-on!! Impressive. Sort of like scenes from "Bird of Paradise" meets "Diamond Head" were taken and spliced together and then had a few more ingredients added. All that was missing was the sacrificial virgin--but then, maybe that is why the volcano exploded--LOL. Not a movie to be missed for laughs!!