Vice Academy

Logic? None. Plot? Threadbare. Acting? Bahahahahaha. But cheesy/comedic gold in the form on bad acting and one-liners? Yes queen. Linnea and Ginger give us the goods in their sassy characters. The words legendary, uninhibited and iconic come to mind. The costumes and the sets are so fun. I can't preach about Linnea enough, personally. She delivers her lines with the tone inflections of a saltine cracker, but her personality is so darn good that it doesn't even matter. The charisma, uniqueness, nerve and *wink* talents make this movie worth it. It's not good but it's fun. And that's enough for me. Good lord, I hate how much I love the first two Vice Academy movies.

source: Vice Academy

Maybe the most ridiculous movie I've ever been privy to. I admit, I have a weakness for movies with 'Academy' in the title; Combat Academy is a particular favourite. This, however, takes the proverbial cake. It's surreal: the acting(atrocious), the dialogue(and lack thereof), the plot(a * movie) and cheap production values that would have Johnny LaRue turning in his grave. Basically it's 90 minutes of attractive ladies running around a city trying to arrest hookers, drug dealers and * stars. Porn queen Ginger Lynn Allen's talent(as minute as they might be) are totally wasted. It's Police Academy minus Steve Guttenberg and a budget multiplied by poor actresses who'd do anything to take their clothes off to make money. My only hope is that no one made anything above scale for this flick... the actresses should have paid the producer to be in it. If you're looking for some excellent vapid entertainment, nice shots of bosom and some laughs, rent it. If you want anything else, I'd look elsewhere.

This is the greatest straight-to-video movie ever made. The whole series is great! So bad that it's good...The corny script, the bad acting...Rick Sloane delivers all the crap in a talented way that I'm sure no one could reproduce.It all makes me so giddy...I'm even in the fan club. God, I love this movie.

IT'S STUPID! IT SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN MADE!

An all female class of academy cadets - with one male classmate thrown in exclusively for groin smack jokes - need to make ten arrests each to graduate. With graduation day fast approaching our heroes go undercover... Who am I kidding. There is no plot beyond scenarios crafted to get the tops off the attractive female cast members. Interspersed with the topless scenes are overly elaborate setups for various gags, some of which work and some of which don't. This is a parody of Police Academy, itself a parody of the action hero cop shows of the day. As a parody of a parody, it works. I'm not familiar with the cast members, but apparently one appeared in x-rated movies and another was famous for being a scream queen in horror movies. Not that any of that matters. Everyone was endearing in their performances, which were delightfully overplayed for humor. The classroom instructor was particularly funny. There isn't a lot of nudity, so I wouldn't recommend it if that's what you're looking for. But if you want a light hearted seventies type comedy with a handful of genuine laughs, this fits the bill. Seven stars.

"Vice Academy" is purportedly a sex comedy spoof of "Police Academy", which was itself a spoof, I guess. What's funny is that for a sex comedy version of that movie, it probably has less nudity than it, and of course, no sex. I don't know what those involved were thinking. This one boasts not only b-movie starlet and scream queen Linnea Quigley, who is still most famous for her naked graveyard dance in "Return of the Living Dead", but also a bona fide * star in Ginger Lynn Allen. So why no sex and hardly any nudity? American sex comedies never show any sex, so it's no surprise that there's none to be had here. But why barely any nudity? It seems like the filmmakers were having too much fun making the movie to include anything that might make you want to watch. The whole thing has this feeling as though everybody involved thought they were being hilarious. Perhaps they were laughing at us for watching this garbage, expecting a good time? I might as well summarise the plot, or at least the set-up (there's no plot, really). It's about a class of bimbos apparently learning to be vice cops, which means they have the freedom to go out and play dress-up and pretend to be prostitutes or johns or whatever. Eventually they meet a madam named Queen Bee, with a huge beehive hairdo, who I guess is supposed to be the main bad guy. The dialogue is delivered in this weird stilted way, like every line is a wonder to the ear, and the soundtrack mickey-mouses everything out the wazoo, as though these are jokes that need underlining. But where are the jokes?

Well at least the girls are cuties. And....that's about it, as far as the positive things that can be said about "Vice Academy" are concerned. The story is almost offensively stupid (come on, academy trainees sent out on their own to bust real criminals?), and most of the jokes are labored and unfunny. The humor is below-"Police Adademy", hit-to-the-groin level. This gives the impression that the film was aimed at kids, but it's too raunchy for kids; at the same time it's not raunchy enough for adults - there is maybe 1 minute of nudity in total. It's a film without an audience. In one of her first non-* roles, Ginger Lynn Allen does show some charm, and should have had more screen time. (*)

Ok so you shouldn't be expecting Shakespeare when you see Ginger Lynn and Linnea Quigley as the leads but for what this was, it worked! Yes, it's major 80s cheesetastic and overloaded camp-a-palooza but it has its moments. The best part of this was Linnea Quigley. She really carried this movie. She was super funny, had great comedic timing, and of course delivered on her sexpot persona. I'm pretty much a Linnea fan since her infamous role as Trash in Return of the Living Dead. She was hilarious in that too. Not sure if this was Ginger Lynn's 1st or 2nd mainstream role after leaving adult movies but it felt like it was her 1st. Her acting was horrible and stiff. She felt spaced out or something. She was much better in Vice Academy Part 2 though and even made me laugh lots of times watching it. This was a very very low budget production and there are many instances where that is evident but it made me laugh and cringe at the same time. I'm a B movie fan and it's Bs like this one that keep me coming back for more. However, I don't think I watched any other sequels after this beyond Part 2 & Part 3. After 3, I'd had enough because they screwed the pooch big time in not bringing Linnea Quigley back. I remember watching this for the first time in the early to mid 1990s and I think I saw it on USA Network's Up All Night series. I ended up hunting down Vice Academy 2 back then to see if it was as funny and it delivered in spots as well. 2 was way more cheesy & dumbed down but it was watchable to a point. Whenever I see Vice Academy showing somewhere, I make a point to re-watch it and it never disappoints in giving me a hardy guffaw. There are two scenes that always have me rolling on the floor. First was Linnea's character's first attempt at infiltrating the porno ring and immediately breaking character and forgetting all about her undercover role. Second was the police academy graduation where apparently no one involved in the production of this film took the time to actually research a police academy graduation but instead put the actors in plain high school graduation gowns complete with cap & tassels. Nowhere on planet Earth do police academy graduates wear graduation gowns & caps! I always wet myself when that scene comes up! You get comedy but you also get ridiculous dialogue, incomprehensible plot riddled with plot holes, elementary school play quality acting, amateurish camera work and editing, no knowledge of what the word continuity even means, 1st grade level sets & set designs, lines delivered the same way they'd read it straight off the page, bad overacting, T&A (for those so inclined), and so much worse. Normally these are things that would make me hate a movie but for this level of cheese & camp, I'm content with a final grade of -D (I liked it). It didn't try to be anything more than what it was - pure cheesy, campy, brain dead, trashy goodness and on that point - it delivered.

In order to graduate from a law enforcement school known as the Vice Academy each of the students are required to arrest a certain number of criminals prior to a set date. One of them, "Holly Wells" (Ginger Lynn) has a huge advantage because her father just happens to be the Chief of Police and gives her all of the resources available to him to be used at her convenience. Unfortunately, she is hardly discreet about it and cheerfully boasts about her successes to everyone else in the classroom. This especially annoys three of her less-fortunate classmates named "Didi" (Linnea Quigley), "Shawnee" (Karen Russell) and "Dwayne" (Ken Abraham) who are having great difficulty trying to pass. So with essentially nothing to lose the three of them concoct a plan to apprehend a notorious prostitution ring which has managed to defeat the entire police force to date. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that this was a crude, low-budget comedy which contained a ridiculous plot and less-than-stellar acting. Yet even with these drawbacks it still managed to be somewhat entertaining all the same. I honestly cannot explain why but I thought some of the scenes were quite amusing. That said, I have rated this movie accordingly. Average.