Trojan War

source: Trojan War

Trojan War cost $15 million to make, played one theater for a week and made $309 dollars. Yes. $309 dollars. It's also a movie that features Jennifer Love Hewett as the geeky friend, which seems like casting that most boys in 1997 would not agree with. It's kind of an extended version of the condom story in Amazon Women on the Moon, as Brad (Will Friedle, Boy Meets World) is finally getting the chance to aardvark with Brooke (Marley Shelton, Planet Terror), yet she demands he get a condom, which is where the title comes from. There are a few moments that 80's comedy fans will like, such as a homeless man demanding two dollars and it ends up being David Patrick Kelly, who was Luther in The Warriors. Or Anthony Michael Hall not being a geek but instead being a bullying bus driver, driving the bus from Speed. Seriously. The exact same bus, which is Santa Monica bus #2525. For those enjoying Lee Majors week on our site, he shows up as Officer Austin and ends up giving Brad a condom, which makes a bionic sound effect as the rubber sails toward our hero. His call sign is also Seven Mary Three, which fans of CHiPs will recognize. Of course, this being a teen comedy, our hero will find the right girl and all will work out. Along the way, there are appearances by Danny Masterson, Wendie Mallick (I never miss the chance to make a Dream On reference) and, as all 90's movies must, a cameo from Danny Trejo. This was directed by George Huang, who put up Robert Rodriguez when he was new to Hollywood. He also directed Swimming With Sharks and How to Make a Monster. The soundtrack to this is pretty interesting, with a mix of 90's stuff like Letter to Cleo, Star 69, Everclear and Imperial Teen mixed with unexpected artists like Fu Manchu and Peter Murphy. All in all, it's not the worst teen movie comedy I've seen.

.....Let's forget about Will Friedle or Jennifer Love Hewitt...There are 2 teenagers,a girl and a boy,best friends 'since like sperm',one in love with the other,the other in love with someone else...It's about the everyday struggle of an ordinary teenager who falls in love with only the most beautiful girl in the school and who now has the chance to live his dream ignoring his best friend's suggestions.Brad(Will Friedle) is a dreamer punched in the face by reality,but in a comic way,in an attempt to make him choose the smartest way.But will Rational take the same road as Love?What will he choose? If you are a teenager or looking for a comedy with teenagers,choose this classic genre for it's actors,for it's brilliant comic situations and well planned plot,choose it to laugh your way back to those early days of your adolescence when all you worried about was how to express your love without being disappointed and mocked at...

Oh this was one of my favorite guilty pleasures! I've never been a huge fan of teen sexy comedies like this one, but I have to admit that it totally got my attention when it first came out. Sure, the situations are very similar if not identical to many Hughes' classics from the 80's but you can't help but feel the late 90's vibe. I mean, the music, the clothing, the vibe. The lack of the condom in the most important scene is displayed as a problem but be honest guys, who wouldn't like to be in the exact same situation?! Be honest! Also, the movie displays a battle of morality but it's something I wish would've happened to me back in the time. I mean, having a super sexy but shy love interest, plus having the chance to bang the hottest sexy * of high school... Enjoy and remember your funny moments at high school. Don't watch this one otherwise you were a 90's pubert.

Now, I decided to watch this movie for two reasons...and both of them belonged to Jennifer Love Hewitt, if you catch my meaning. But really, this was a bad movie. The script was tedious, unimaginative, and laughably predictable. Don't get me wrong; I know that this was wrote as a "fluff" piece to be shot on a tiny budget. The problem was, that there are movies that make the "fluff" funny and interesting...like "Can't Hardly Wait." "Trojan War" was never funny, and there wasn't a single interesting character (or relationship) in the entire awful movie. Additionally, most of the actors seemed to take a page from the Bette Midler school of WAY OVER-ACTING COMEDY, which makes for a lot of joke-flop cringing. The directing, writing, and acting all combine for what is a unappealing, 84 minute long utter waste of time. Avoid this movie if you're not 13, or drunk enough to have trouble focusing your eyesight on the television monitor.

During my summer vacations over the years of seeing and reviewing movies, I was always happy and delighted to some movies that I'll always remember that particular summer vacation. Well, recently, during my summer vacation this year, I have to say that I've seen my first worst movie during the summer. And, it was not the last one I thought was terrible. In August of this year, I've seen another horrible movie. That movie was Harlem Nights, with Eddie Murphy and Richard Pryor. At the end of my summer vacation, I had to ask myself one question: What movie would I not want to see again? My answer? Trojan War. And, if you're asking what's Trojan War is about, let me tell you what exactly Trojan War means in this movie. A high-school senior, played by Will Friedle, wants to woo the girl of his dreams. The girl in his dreams is a beautiful blonde, who's also friends with a high-school jerk. One night, he sees his chance to make out with her. One problem stands in his way: he doesn't have protection. In other words, he doesn't have a condom. So, he goes to a convenience store and buys the condoms, all right. But, once he's outside the store, his parents' car is stolen by a group of Hispanic thugs. Movie stereotyping being seen here. Throughout this whole movie, the poor kid tries to get one condom and in the midst of the madness, he embarks on a series of misadventures. Those misadventures includes: walking into a nightclub and having to be forced to dance with a voluptuous Hispanic woman, having to take a wild ride in a city bus, driven by a insane bus driver, who doesn't like it when the riders don't pay for their ride on the bus, and we see the young man being taken hostage by the same Hispanic thugs that took his parents' car. Now that I explain to you what's the movie about, you can see that the title of this movie is misleading. People might think this movie is about the legendary story of the Trojan War that was fought in the B.C. era. Wrong. To me, this story is ridiculous. Why do we care about this young kid, who want to love this blonde? The only thing I have to say before I forget again is the supporting character, played Jennifer Love Hewitt. What is she doing in a movie like this? She's a young actress, who has the talent to express to the audience. Here, her character goes nowhere fast. The movie is also predictable and the elements of this story are burrowed from other teenage romances. We have the kid who's in love with the blonde in the movie. He should love the brunette. I mean, if I was this kid, I would've went with Jennifer Love Hewitt. I'm again ready to forget this movie once again. But, just because I've seen my first and worst summer movie, I didn't miss out other good or great movies as well. If I had to pick the worst summer movie of 2013, Trojan War would be my choice. I would leave this one in the heat for good. ★ 1/2 1 1/2 star.

I've always been a fan of Will Friedle, I think he's a very funny comic actor and at the time Trojan War was made he was just coming off years with Boy Meets World as Eric Matthews. He was the best one in the cast of that show. Trojan War is a film that's a decade behind the times, it's something that the 80s brat pack would have done. In fact a refugee of said pack Anthony Michael Hall has a small role as a psychotic bus driver. It reminds me a lot of Tom Cruise's Losin' It. Friedle plays this slightly nerdy kid who's funny in his own way if people actually listen to him. He's tutoring the teen dream girl of his life Marley Shelton when because she wants to make jock boyfriend Eric Balfour jealous she offers herself to him. But alas no protection so poor Friedle spends an adventurous night trying to get an elusive condom. Some funny scenes, but it really has been all done before. Especially by Tom Cruise and Anthony Michael Hall in their salad days.

This is a great movie filled with tons of fun and excitement. Will Friedle is the highlight of the movie with his goofy quirkiness. J-love Hewitt wasnt too bad either. It is a close cry to Hewitts other comedy soon after "Can't Hardly Wait" as far as a cute teeny comedy. But, the plot does not resemble really. I really recommend it to anyone who wants a good laugh.

IF your looking for like a short teen oriented comedy this one is good, it some of the jokes are kind of stupid but still funny its basically about Brad played by Will Fridele, and he finally gets to hook up with the girl he's had a crush on for a long time, but it turns out she's really using him to mess with her real Boyfriend, and of course there's the "Best friend girl" played by JLH. Normally with these kinds of plots the guy after wooing his dream girl chooses the best friend with the whole brains over beauty scenario, and it usually annoys me but this time so the best friend is played by JLH so it's really a win-win situation for Brad. So in short I really liked this movie especially with the comedic plot if your looking for like a serious movie this isn't for you, but if you like just want to hang out and watch a teen comedy with some over the top humor(yet still funny) this movie is a great choice.

This cute little film had one primary purpose: provide more exposure for Jennifer Love Hewitt, and encourage folks to watch her disappointing "Last Summer" flicks at the multiplex. Well, something went terribly wrong with that simple plan, because along the way an amazingly enjoyable film got made. Will Friedle (of TV's "Boy Meets World, and at the time JLH's real-life boyfriend) plays a likable high school student who lucks out when the adorable little blonde he's tutoring (the sadly underexposed Marley Shelton) decides to give him a break. As he frantically takes Los Angeles apart searching for a condom (yes, that's what "Trojan" in the title refers to) his best bud JLH is realizing she wants to be more than just friends. Aside from the horrible case of envy I developed (Will Friedle got to kiss JLH both on and off-screen!) I had a lot of fun watching the result. If you're a parent, the additional good news is that this is one of the few flicks out there (surprisingly) in which the characters don't jump into bed without practising safe sex. That shows that at least there's SOME hope for Hollywood.