The Whole Nine Yards

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source: The Whole Nine Yards

I suffered through an hour of this movie TRYING to get interested enough to finish it. I finally did finish it but could have stopped watching it at any time and never have given a second thought as to what happened at the end. I cannot believe big name actors such as Bruce Willis ever agreed to star in such a ho-hum movie :(

I cringed in my seat when I saw that the last name of one of the producers on this hunk o' junk was WILLIS, and his first name was NOT BRUCE. I knew I was in deep trouble when Rosanna Arquette and Kevin Pollak started talking. Obviously Michael Clarke Duncan, perfect in ARMAGEDDON (opposite Bruce Willis) and excellent in THE GREEN MILE (a part that Bruce Willis recommended him for) must have signed on to this p.o.s (the editors won't let me spell it out but you get it) out of some sort of obligation to the Willis family. And, oh yes, any film that relies on Mathew Perry running into glass doors for laughs should have a contract put on it before the film gets released on the public. And if this is the kind of product that we can see from Hollywood jobs going to Canada, then the book business will be reaching new heights very, VERY soon.

After seeing this movie I still was searching very hard for the 'funny' parts of the movie. I haven't laughed one minute during the film. Though I must say I was one of the few who weren't laughing, must people found this movie so incredibly funny. Well, I think this movie STINKS!! What can be funny about knocking your head repeatedly on something??? I think that people who think THIS movie is funny should really have to watch movies like 'Hot Shots' or 'Loaded weapon'. Those are stomach-churning. This movie is CRAP!!!!

I gave up on this after an hour, having not laughed or cracked a smile once. I am still in shock at how truly poor this movie was. Chandler in Friends is a great comic character, because the writing is good. Chandler the Dentist in this movie is not funny, just painful, because the writing is bad. The straw that broke the camel's back was when Perry was given his Friends catchphrase "Oh! My! God!". Oh my God indeed. As for Bruce Willis, surely he can't be that hard up for work, unless he just fancied a role he could do in his sleep, because that was the impression he gave with his performance. And Rosanna Arquette's accent - what the ~@*&!?! I have nothing redeeming to say about this movie. It is simply not funny. Don't waste your time.

Definitely in the waste of money category. Started off promisingly, but seemed like an 8-year-old took over writing 3/4 into it. Scratch that, an 8-year-old would have had more imagination. Opportunities to turn into a darker fargo-esque/pulp-fiction-esque caper were not taken. The movie was left very thin, where you, the viewer, could only assume that there was another layer of character motives to be revealed as the movie went on, but there wasn't

Sadly, this movie turned out exactly as I predicted - a few good laughs here and there, but all in all, a very predictable and somewhat boring picture. Matthew Perry goes from being a nervous psycho one second to Mr. Cool Guy with a Surefire Plan the next. Bruce Willis as a flower-loving benevolent killer - has this guy ever played a villain? There're two gorgeous women to occupy your time, but when one of them is shown topless, it's hard not to see this as being just plain gratuitous. I don't want to give away the situation, but there were much less dangerous ways to distract someone. I could go on, but I will just conclude by mentioning the ridiculous ending - anybody who's not even familiar with dentistry will have to laugh their gut off if you think it all the way through. This is a "wait for the video" if there ever was one.

Being of a depressingly standardized form of American comedy, "The Whole Nine Yards" offers very few new laughs and is painfully predictable. The story is a pretty good one to start with, but is flattened quite effectively by a dull dialogue, stereotypic characters (bar one) and an awfully miscast Rosanna Arquette. Kevin Pollack as the gangster boss Gogolak is also a great mistake - not in the least intimidating and when introduced, a real bore to watch. The only refreshing detail is the completely unexpected character development that Amanda Peet performs, which raises the grade a bit and provides the only lasting impression once the credits roll. On the whole, its a slightly less than average movie that could have been a lot more with a bit more imaginative writing.

Both of the primary actresses smoke heavily. So for me, the movie was gross. I get tired of hearing women bragging during conversation how they smoke and have had kids without birth defects, how their mom or friends etc smoke with no defects. Most birth defects are not visible. I wonder if the movie got some monetary props for this kind of smoking from cig companies