The VelociPastor

The Velocipastor is getting a sequel and it's more better than the original but I like this one it's actually funny cause of the Dinosaur suit

Not "so bad it's funny." Just bad. There was no attempt at realism, humor or logic, just some home-made dino and ninja costumes -- which were apparently worn by some senior citizens, judging by their fighting skills. So, way below expectations... worse than the trailer (which I didn't see first but it's on YouTube). Sometimes this type of movie can be surprisingly creative or ironically funny, but this is a 100% dud without redemption, UNLESS is was made by junior high students, in which case B+ since you guys learned to film and edit. Now take a writing class.

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source: The VelociPastor

This is nothing but a hilarious ride from start to finish, a mangled heap of god-awful props, dialogue, costuming, lighting, special effects, and acting jammed into an inexplicable plot by a genius director who manages to make a very bad movie on purpose without any shred of pretense or shame. The ninja fight scene is what Mortal Kombat would look like if it got hijacked by a kindergarten drama class. Watch this movie. It's terrible. It's schlocky. You'll love it.

This is so terrible that I think it gave me cancer. Worst movie ever made. The acting, and direction was quite terrible. Props and CGI is horrible. I can make better CGI on my Motorola phone.

Bad, low-budget movies don't become entertaining by showing off that they're low-budget. They become entertaining when you at least get the impression that everyone on screen was trying their damnedest but the result was unintentionally hilarious. The actress who plays Carol comes closest to this kind of sincerity, but this movie as a whole doesn't work on that level. Failing that, maybe this could have worked as a self-consciously silly spoof if the gags were a bit more clever. The first morning scene with Carol and the part where the ninja had a sort of flashback of someone telling him this was how he would die were probably the only two times I cracked a smile during the whole movie. If you're looking for so bad it's good, save yourself 70 minutes and keep looking.

Don't worry, the spirit of the filmmakers are sitting next to you as you watch The VelociPastor winking and nudging and laughing the entire time. In other words, they're in on the joke and you should be too. The VelociPastor is as ridiculously fun as you'd hope it would be with a boyish, soft spoken priest (a perfectly cast Greg Cohan) obtaining the ability to turn into a vicious, flesh eating, and very corny looking dinosaur. The film plays out like a Saturday morning cartoon meets Troma, which makes it the perfect midnight movie with some weed or beer. Alyssa Kempinski is so good as Carol, the hooker. It's a limited role, but her performance is surprisingly very sweet and touching at times, and she shows some real talent here. Some of the many highlights include a workout montage featuring very short shorts, a ridiculous, multiple split screen love scene, a pimp with an epic comb over, a hilarious Vietnam War flashback, and ninjas. Just sit back and laugh, The VelociPastor is wonderfully dumb and very funny.