The Tombs

The Tombs (2019) follows a group of 'celebrities' that go film a publicity stunt in a haunt in the London tombs, but not everything happens to be faked. Everything in this movie just felt so unnatural and weird and I don't like saying bad things about indie movies, but there really wasn't any appeal in this film. I just really disliked this movie, there wasn't anything going for it, and the acting was too poor to look past. The film uses some found footage type aspects throughout. The TV footage actually looked quite realistic, and was the best thing about the movie. However, the CCTV footage looked terrible and almost like an Instagram filter! The acting was unfortunately dreadful, and there were no good performances. They had some British actors do an American accent, which made no sense due to the film being SET in the UK. Alongside this, the accents were very bad and didn't help the film. Also, the dialogue was cringeworthy and poorly written and the characters were all unlikeable. The music and score weren't good at all, and just sounded like royalty free audio. The music also got cheesier as the film progressed. This wasn't helped by the sound design and audio techniques which were just incredibly bland and low effort. The colour palettes were alright I guess, and the cinematography was basic. There was nothing necessarily bad to say, and nothing good to say about it either. I could see what was going on, but I feel like that's just the bare minimum. Lastly, the pacing was messy and the film doesn't set any kind of tone or build up any atmosphere. There was no clear pacing and I was just waiting for it to end! It started off with a cheesy opening, and just got incredibly comically bad and funny in an unintentional way. The ending was equally as silly and very cliché.

Standard horror trope filled film that has enough camp elements to balance it from being too serious. Some decent acting, and mediocre script and storytelling, but the aspect of having the "actors" of a film be in the reality situation brought some interesting new element to this genre of film.

Preparing to open a new exhibit, the cast of an upcoming horror movie set in the location agree to take a promotional trip to help build interest in the event, but when they inadvertently awaken a vicious killer who tries to hunt for a new host body to carry on forces them to get away alive. This was a fun if somewhat flawed genre effort. One of the better features with this one is the setup featured here that manages to feel like a lived-in universe that's being featured here. The use of the initial attraction being set up like the movie adaptation that took place there years ago and taking the cast together for a promotional run-through of the attraction causes a fun way to get this started as it allows the series of secondary storylines to come into play. The setup of the different animosities that take place within the group as a sense of personal jealousy and rivalry set within the cast offers a fun series of quips and comebacks that shine through the series of attempts to take over the spotlight or steal attention from others so their career can be improved is quite fun, and with the difficulty of the attraction crew trying to keep the show running with the distractions and disruptions taking place let the setup here come together quite well. On top of this, there's a lot to enjoy with the setting featured with this one and the slasher stylings on display here. The setting of this one, focused on a stellar funhouse attraction that has the usual series of colored lighted rooms, prosthetic props, blood-drenched creations, and made-up actors ready to run out of the darkness to terrorize others in the name of fun. The location here is handled well-enough with a layout and series of gags that play on these fears to have a sense of fun involved had the killer not arrived to start taking them out. These are handled just as well with the series of ambushes throughout the location which take a while to set in that it's not part of the show as the ambush of the workers and other behind-the-scenes crew start off nicely enough before the main group get ambushed which provides a solid series of indie gore-gags to go along with the great look of the killer for some great factors here. There are some issues with this that hold it back. Most of the issues here stem from the film's strange killer which is somewhat grossly mishandled here with several issues present. The fact that here's a supernatural origin story and method of defeat is fine enough but it's mostly ignored for the sake of treating it like a regular humanoid killer capable of shuffling around at the most sluggish of speeds rather than taking advantage of the supposed powers present. As well, that so many of the characters are set up as irritating and unlikable for the sake of making juicy reality-TV show content has a bit of a sluggish opening half as a result so a lame killer ends up stalking an annoying group of victims. Alongside the cheap look of this one, these all manage to drag this one down overall. Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence and Graphic Language.

The Tombs has the honor to be the thirtieth movie in my list of movies with the lowest score possible. It's rare that I rate a movie the lowest possible but in this case I had no choice. The Tombs is an absolute disaster, from the beginning till the end. There is absolutely nothing good about this movie. The script is unbelievably bad, a five year old couldn't make it up. The acting is from another level, the kind of level where you seriously hope for those people they didn't give up their regular job. As for the horror it's simple, there is no horror. You will have more scary moments in the haunted house at the local fair. The killer moves like a defected robot, so that one you could just outrun by hopping on one leg. Who the hell did give that guy money to make a movie? What a waste of time (mine) and money (theirs).

There is a horror trope of the last madman locked up in an asylum when some teenager decide to spend a night in there as their right of passage. Saying boo to Michael Myers house in Halloween is another example. In this one we get a cast of actors playing a cast of wannabe actors. They have to spend a night a horror museum/attraction. It is the familiar tale we all love of will they live out the night? There is a madman loose in the asylum/attraction bumping off the actors but will they see it all as an in joke or will they survive the night? That is the premise. It is well acted. The actors themselves seem to be having a great time playing bad actors. The effects are good and it is well shot. It is let down somewhat by the main antagonist not actually being that scary other than they have an axe. Well, worth renting from itunes and it is geared towards the youth. The one thing about the team is they could have made this great, if they had followed the movie the game. The other old trope it is all a prank, should have been the final denouement. Though that is my personal preference.

Absolutely pathetic excuse excuse for a film I had to turn it off after fifty minutes it was so bad I couldn't take it anymore, horrible obnoxious overly-talky characters, very cheap feel and settings, everything about it was so tacky and unappealing, the acting especially just totally kills whatever enjoyment that could be possibly be gleamed from this p**s-poor excuse for a slasher. Complete waste of time, I can say it's a film only in the sense that it is several frames illuminated in the correct order to create the illusion of motion with audio synched up to it in a presentation that you can watch, if you don't have anything more fun to do like get your wisdom teeth pulled or something, that's really all I have to say about "The Tombs" uh..just watch The Funhouse Massacre instead it's much more fun! X

-1 Star For the Scene with the Obnoxious Blonde... truly not enough show for my dough -1 Star For If You are going to make a horror slasher movie you need to add a lot more horror and at least SOME SLASHING...... -1 Star For the killings , non-killings, bad dialogue, ridiculously timed flirty jokes, and campy attempts at humor at or near the end And the end, was pretty bad. This is one worth the effort to skip!!!!

....which was worse,dialog or acting both were abysmal but as far as horror movies go this one hits near rock bottom on my list and I have watched literally thousands of horror movies over the years,besides the camera work which was average at best there was just no connection between characters and nothing likeable about any of them ,which kind of left you sitting there bored waiting for them to meet their demise and breathing a sigh of relief when they do,I couldn't even be bothered rustling up a cheer until this one reached it's sad,tired and oh so pathetic end.

The film delivered. Entertaining. I watch films to be entertained period. Give it a chance. Just have fun!

The Tombs