The Three Musketeers

source: The Three Musketeers

Moviecut—The Three Musketeers

The Three Musketeers

How many times does one have to endure the phrase "All for one and one for all" in this piece of mindless Disney drivel? A lot, it seems. far too often for my taste as the phrse becomes a sound bite rather than a declaration of loyalty. Performances worth checking out are by Michael Wincott, and by Tim Currey, who chews screen time with a desperation that doesn't seem necessary given Curry's genuine acting talent. Otherwise this is a total waste of time. In both cases I couldn't help remembering that Tim Currey and Michael Wincott were not Charleton Heston and Christopher Lee. Charlie Sheen, Kiefer Sutherland, and Chris O'Donnel are never convincing as 18th-Century Frenchmen and come across only as 20th-Century actors from the New World. Oliver Platt is amusing but in the end is also unable to make the audience suspend disbelief. The script is insipid and juvenile at best and is an insult to stupid people. I came out of the movie feeling cheated and talked down to. This movie lacks the grandeur and the wonder that a good period piece adventure must have. For a better handling of this material, check out the Richard Lester films "The Three Musketeers" and "The Four Musketeers" both of which star Michael York and are much closer to the original Dumas. This version is awful; don't waste your time.

I am aware that there is a book of The Three Musketeers, but I haven't read it, so it doesn't matter...what matters is the film itself. Now, as I have made absolutely clear in the summary above, there are a few movies that are so good that I feel like re-watching them as soon as the credits role. And as I have made clear blahdeblahdeblah...this is one. The atmosphere is mad and more fun than a barrel of chimpanzees on LSD. The underground dungeons with flaming torches and people sticking their arms through the sardine-like grids and the eeeeeeeeeeevil villains who are shown as ruthless from the word go, are textbook cheese, and just what is needed in this film. Straight away, we are thrown into the action, with some very pleasant surprises. Chris O Donnell as the hotheaded D'Artagnian, Keifer Sutherland as the (fairly) straight-headed Athos, Oliver Platt as the bonkers but ingenious Porthos (with tricks up his sleeve that come out of nowhere such as a triple-bladed dagger), Charlie Sheen as the religious Aramis, the beautiful Julie Delpy as lady-in-waiting constance, Tim Curry and Michael Wincott as the classic bad guy double-act (with evil villain and secondary baddie with eyepatch), even Paul McGann in a hilarious double-role, sometimes playing a leader in the Cardinal's guard, but mostly playing a wuss who has it in the neck about his sister's 'honour' with D'Artagnian (and was clearly never breastfed by his mother). Not to mention the hilarious mullet that Hugh O Connor sports as the king of France! The entire film consists of swinging thin swords about, jumping onto moving carts and up and down walls while swinging said swords, meeting beautiful women, and with an exciting climax at the end. If you've read the book, good for you. I hope you enjoyed it. But if you're devoted to it, then avoid any contact with this film. It's action all out romp where the brain does not have to work hard, but just sits back, relaxes, and escapes. If you want deep 'real-life' and 'gritty' stuff, then forget it. This film has none of that. Good vs bad, simple as that. I'll be honest, I deeply loathe, despise and detest Disney Fairy stories (though animations such as Toy Story and The Lion King get a thumbs-up from me). Having said that though, the mouse house do a damn fine line up in feel-good action romps such as this one and Pirates of the Caribbean, and if you disagree then dive head first into a hospital surgery bin.

This movie is completely worthless. I have no idea why they did not bother to read the book as it has very little has to do with what Dumas actually wrote. the only thing in common with the book are the characters names! If you want to see an incredible version, watch the Richard Lester version. Perfectly cast and written that movie is a gem. This version is so mis-cast it is shocking. Chris O'Donnell is just to smirky,and What did they do to Constance? I know this was a Disney film but really! Now she is one of the queen's guards? and survives? Athos APOLOGISES to Milady? and she jumps off a cliff?? I was revolted when Gainsborough's blue boy was King Louis XIII. and don't even start me on Tim Curry's Cardinal. I hope it was his direction rather than his acting choices, because his cardinal was a horror. Do NOT waste a second of your life watching this drivel.

Lightheaded and lighthearted this is the definition of escapist entertainment and that is meant as a compliment. Something to watch when you want to relax and not have to think about the plot of the movie. Chris O'Donnell is impish if a bit callow in the lead but the real show is musketeers anyway and there is where the movie excels. Keifer is suitably brooding as Athos and Charlie Sheen, before he became a surly twitchy mess, is a charming Aramis. The standout however is Oliver Platt going full on ham as Porthos giving a delightfully over the top performance and walking off with the picture whenever he is on screen. Rebecca De Mornay also seems to be having a good time enacting the villainous Milady de Winter, she's sexy and silky. Lastly there is Tim Curry positively consuming the scenery as Cardinal Richelieu, in his flowing red robes he and Oliver Platt are in a dead heat for biggest scene stealer. The production is high class with vibrant with color and beautiful settings, true it bears only a passing kinship with the source book but it is a fun time with lots of action and a carefree mood.

This movie is so bad on so many levels. From the first scene, when D'Artagnan duels with an annoyingly shrill caricature (he didn't deserve to be called a character). His opponent is a blatant walking gay joke and is completely inappropriate for what pretends to be a family picture. Also out of place in a family picture were some of the violent images and the generous cleavage shots. Obviously the movie veers from the novel, but it veers so far that the book becomes source material in name only. Aramis is no longer the pious gentleman of Dumas' novel, but instead he is...well, Charlie Sheen with a Bible and cross. The plot is almost completely thrown out and the exact opposite of virtually everything in the book happens. Worst of all, Milady DeWinter is transformed from one of the most evil creatures ever into a sympathetic character who is not really bad and only dies because she chooses to sacrifice herself. The script, if it can even be called a script, is hopelessly corny. It feels like they were trying to do the kind of movie they ended up making with Pirates of the Caribbean but failed miserably. The screenwriter hacks it up, showing no knowledge of ballistics (for the last time, cannonballs DO NOT EXPLODE!), anatomy (a wound to the gut may be fatal, but it will not kill a man within a few seconds), or military procedures (the King's guards would be going into war with the King, not disbanding!), and certainly no knowledge of the Dumas novel. Some things were kept, those things being the three-way duel and the fact that Athos used to be married to Milady. That's pretty much it. Really. That's it. I know we can't expect a page for page adaptation, but this was just awful. Oliver Platt's performance as Porthos was the one good thing, and even then I think it was more Platt being himself than playing the character.

This is a VERY underrated action-adventure story which revamps the classic tale with a lot of top class young talents of the 90s. The humour and action fit together perfectly, and it features some very outstanding scene-stealing performances; especially from Tim Curry (natch!) and Oliver Platt. <Spoiler Warning> IMHO, Chris O'Donnell plays a young dashing hero very well in this (my fav movie of his); and Platt, Charlie Sheen and Keifer Sutherland play the classic sword-masters with a great mix of dash and humour. Keifer's dramatic undercurrent to the frivolity going on around him works very well, and helps this from becoming too schmaltzy. The highlight for me was the the scenes where D'Artagnan accidentally arranges three fights with the famous trio; as well as the final climactic showdown of course.

Ok, want to watch a really bad movie tonight? Go rent this one. Even people who haven't read the book won't appreciate this farce, and for those who have, they'll never respect any actor who took part in this fleecing of Alexandre Dumas's classic. What is the deal with all this mess? The Musketeers disbanded? Cardinal Richeleau trying to assassinate Louis XIII? Milady going to England to sign a treaty of war with the Duke of Buckingham? She went there to assassinate him! This whole movie is a crock. The producers couldn't leave anything intact. After the fight with the Cardinal's guards, the four men went away delighted with having beatin the guards, they didn't run off and leave D'Artagnan like that. And what is with the gay little charactor fighting D'Artagnan at the beginning? That's not at all how he left for Paris. His father, Rochefort never killed him, gave him his sword, some money, and a letter for the Captain of the Musketeers. D'Artagnan met Rochefort on the road and fought with him on his way to Paris, that's why D'Artagnan really hated Rochefort. I could go one all night like this, but instead, I'll give the readers one piece of advice. Stay away from this movie as you would a rabid dog, rent the 1974 version with Michael York, Richard Chamberlain, Oliver Reed, and Charlton Heston, it's ten times better, follows the book to perfection, and is hilariously funny at the same time. Don't even waste 50 cents to rent this flop. Only watch this version if Mystery Science Theatre 2000 decides to bash it!