The Thing Below

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source: The Thing Below

A team of researchers led by Captain Jack Griffin(Billy Warlock)and Professor Anna Davis(Catherine Lough Haggquist)answer a distress call from a top-secret oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico. The team is perplexed to find the remote drilling platform is much like a ghost ship. Searching for answers, crew members begin to disappear one-by-one. It comes apparent a mysterious creature bred beneath the ocean floor is hell-bent on survival. Danger is unimaginable and escape is dreadfully doubtful. Film quality is inconsistent and the CGI is interesting, but totally too noticeable for any fear factor. The old western fast draw gunfight is ridiculous. The lurking creature trying to strike terror actually seems impotent. The cast also features: Kurt Max Runte, Peter Graham Gaudreau, Kiara Hunter and Warren Christie.

**Spoilers ahead** This movie is retarded, the actors, director, and whoever did the special effects should be sent to a desert island forever. They throw in a * scene with a * star throwing her gigantic breasts around and pouring oil on herself in a room full of fire. This is probably where all the budget for the special effects went. The awful acting, pathetic CGI and the stupid storyline make this the worst waste of 94 minutes ever. But the movie is a lot of fun if you like to make fun of movies mystery science theater style. Anyone who gave this movie more than 1 star is too generous. Run and hide.

This was such a waste of film, time, and money. I am surprised that some people watched the whole thing. I had to turn it off after the first CGI scene. This film was a complete joke. If you want to waste your time to see how bad it truly is, then trick somebody else into renting it for you and try not to waste your own money (trust me, you will feel cheated if you do). A word has not been invented to describe how horrible this film truly is. Judging by the story line, this had the potential of being a bad film but it could not even attain such a high level. Acting was horrible and the dialog even worst. This is the kind of film you would recommend to your worst enemies or people you don't like. Stay away from it.

That was by far the worst movie I have ever seen. The movie was like watching one of the super old sci-fi movies. The "special" effects sucked....Come on we're in the 21st century; get a grip on technology and stop being a cheap @** ! Plus the ending??? I mean what the hell, why would she turn into the gov't guy. Why is he so important. Honestly, I've heard of irony, but she had no reason to turn into him.. and if she/he was the creature why didn't it kill the brothers! They had the disk (to which nothing was revealed of importance) and they blew the damn thing up. Writers today NEED TO CONSIDER COLLEGE!!!!! Then with all the military action to make sure it was destroyed you never actually seen anything being done by the marines..Totally counter acts the beginning of the film.

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* "The Thing Below" is a completely unnecessary movie. I didn't need to see it and no one needed to spend two seconds making it. In fact, I would dare say that no one should have even thought about making it. I rented it expecting a cheap "Deep Rising" rip-off. It's a sad day when your movie watching hopes are dashed because they weren't low enough. I thought mine couldn't possibly get any lower. A "Deep Rising" rip-off was asking too much? Yes. Yes it was. "The Thing Below" starts off with the usual B-movie scientists doing stupid things in an isolated setting. This time they're on an oil rig and let loose The Thing Below. A cargo ship arrives to check out the situation. Then the movie spins off into oblivion as the monster is not a beast with fangs, tentacles and other cool monster appendages but some sorry telepathic creature that can read your mind and exploit your fears, hopes, dreams etc. This leads to a scene where the monster turns into Glori-Anne Gilbert so it can do a strip tease for one of the crew members and another scene where there's an Old West style shootout (?!). I'm sure once the filmmakers saw the quality of their monster special effects, (terrible, awful, etc), they decided to take the telepathic creature route. It didn't really matter which monster they chose because there's no suspense, no thrills and pretty much nothing below. Well, nothing worth getting excited about that's for sure. Any way you look at it, this movie needs to be tossed away and forgotten.

One of the most horrible movies I've ever seen, if not the single most horrible. I have no idea why it was made. The plot, possibly the best part of the film, was awful. It switched on and off between two extremes: either it was bizarre and confusing, or it was dull and predictable. The acting would have made William Shatner sick to his stomach. The dialogue was written trite and cliché, and the delivery certainly didn't help. It was all strained, and in the rare case where there was emotion in a line, it was fake-sounding, and sometimes even the wrong emotion. It seemed like they were reading lines off the script for the first time. And the directing was just as bad. None of the motions that anybody made were natural-looking. Just a tip for the 'actors' in this film: if the camera is moving to try to (poorly) replicate the feel of a tossing boat, it's best not to just stand still, but to actually be tossed around. Especially if there's one actor who's moving around (albeit awkwardly) as if he's being tossed by the boat in the same room with you, at the same time that you're standing still! And the CGI was horrible. 'Nuff said there.

There are no words to describe the absolute misery that this movie will subject you to. Before its end, you too would gladly welcome death. The plot is awful. The CGI looks like it was hand-drawn onto the frames in production. The beginning credits attempt to be creative but butcher the intro. The same footage is shown over and over again, and most of it looks like it came from a 1980's 8bit video game. What's worse is the insulting attempt to cover up how awful this film is by including a few busty women. If that's all you want from a movie, then you'll find it here. Just don't expect to be entertained. If you're considering watching this movie, please don't throw away your life like that. Your time will be much better spent by watching that horrible Ewok movie that Lucas put out in '84. You deserve better than this.

This film's plot is a rehash of Alien. Only here the evil critter is not found in outer space but fifteen miles under the Earth. Of course the US Government wants this thing, and wants to keep it hush hush, God knows why. Of course it gets loose on the oil platform where it was pulled out of the ground from and mayhem ensues. One of the many problems is, the group of characters boarding the oil rig is straight out of the movie cliché handbook. The haunted leader, the bald black man, the inexplicable hot blonde chick, and the eccentric guy, who in this case thinks he's Butch Cassidy (including hat and six shooter). Another is, this was made in Canada and many of the actors portraying Americans speak with a Doug and Bob MacKenzie accent, kinda weird eh? On the plus side, there is a far too long strip tease sequence performed by what looked to be an up and coming * star (this accounts for my second star). They obviously had some money to spend but the lousy acting, hokey cartoon alien and woeful, annoying "on the nose" dialogue drag this thing deeper than the underwater tomb their monster allegedly came from.