The Phantom Empire

I happened to stumble upon the 1987 movie "The Phantom Empire" by random chance here in 2023, and I didn't really take much notice of it. Well, until I saw that Jeffrey Combs was listed on the cover, and then of course I had to sit down and watch the movie. Honestly, I harbored no expectations at all to the movie, as the movie's cover looked like some really, really low budget stuff. But with Jeffrey Combs on the cast list, I had to check it out. And I am amazed with how utterly lousy and rubbish "The Phantom Empire" turned out to be. There was just so much cheese in the 83 minutes that the movie ran for, and not in a good or enjoyable manner. So writers Fred Olen Ray and T. L. Lankford didn't exactly manage to entertain me with this 1987 movie. Something interesting about "The Phantom Empire", was the fact that Andrew Paris (played by Jeffrey Combs) said that he studied at the Miskatonic University, which effectively places "The Phantom Empire" in the H. P. Lovecraft universe, for better or worse. There were so many things wrong with the movie. First of all, I was amazed with the sheer amount of light sources naturally available so deep inside a mountain. Sure, I get it because it is for the audience to see what is going on, but come on, it was just laughable. Then there were suddenly some primal Amazon woman showing up, uhm, okay, sure why not? Then there was a robot shooting lasers from its eyes. And get this Professor Strock said that the robots were indigineous to the cavern environment. Seriously, what? And let's not forget the insanely laughable subterranean creatures, which was painstakingly obviously just horribly fake latex masks on people in equally laughable costumes. I am surprised that Jeffrey Combs actually did a movie such as "The Phantom Empire". But I can now check the movie off of the watched-movies-list now. But I can honestly say that I am never returning to watch it a second time. My rating of director Fred Olen Ray's 1987 movie "The Phantom Empire" lands on a two out of ten stars. The movie is deserving a one out of ten stars rating actually, but the fact that Jeffrey Combs is there pulls it up to a two star rating.

I am a big fan of Fred Olen Ray and I regret to say that Phantom Empire is not his best work. I'm not sure if we wasn't feeling well, didn't care for the project or if all the blame rest squarely on the shoulders of the writer but this movie is flawed big time. There is serious character and story issues. The alien queen is a real bitch and all the actors seemed phoned in their performances. The cave mutants are somewhat lame, considering it was 1986 I think they could have done better. I real don't want to be insulting, but this was more Don Dohler then Fred Olen Ray but there was enough interesting points to keep it from failing. So a mild and unimpressed 4 STARS.

On the disc this was on, before the movie started there was a word (actually more than that) from the director. We apparently get him in his home with his wife (I did not check if this is factually correct), just to get a side character from the movie invading - or is it from the movie? If you find this funny, you're in for a treat with the movie itself (though do not expect nearly as much nudity as you get to see in this short). You have to actually shut your brain off, not care about the movies actual intro (after we get to see quite a decent effect for a low budget movie), that edits the opening credits with a detective style throwback ... it tries to be funny but does not really succeed. What it does though from time to time (maybe) - it surprises you with some neat choices. Like making the female assistant be more macho than the detective himself. A nice touch, if you care enough. Otherwise very low production values but a nice throwback to claymation towards the end - does it make sense? No not at all - but if you are looking for that, you are way wrong here

The Phantom Empire is a very meta film. Its title refers to the 1935 Gene Autry movie serial - which was kind of remade as part of the show Cliffhangers! - as well as having Robby the Robot in its cast, Jeffrey Combs' character Andrew Paris saying that he went to Miskatonic University (the same school from Re-Animator) and vehicles from director Fred Olen Ray's movie Star Slammer and Logan's Run show up, as well as footage from 1977's Planet of Dinosaurs. Maybe by referential sometimes I'm also saying cost-effective. Ray got the idea for this film while filming Commando Squad in a Bronson Canyon cave. He wrote the script over the weekend and then started filming the day after Commando Squad wrapped, using the same cast and crew. That's impressive but the original inspiration for the 1935 Phantom Empire is wilder. Writer Wallace MacDonald came up with the entire movie - plot, characters, their names, costumes, literally every single moment of the serial - while he was being treated with nitrous oxide by his dentist. A cave creature with millions in diamonds around his neck emerges from a cave and rips someone's head off before it's stopped. A party is made of Cort Eastman (Ross Hagen), Denae Chambers (Susan Stokey), Andrew Paris (Combs), Professor Strock (Robert Quarry) and Eddy Colchilde (Dawn Wildsmith, Ray's wife) to enter the caves and see what they can salvage. They soon find a hidden world, Robby the Robot and a queen played by Sybil Danning, which is really why most people rented this. Throw in Michele Bauer as a cave girl and that's why they definitely rented this.

The Phantom Empire provides some trashy and cheesy fun - first time our underground expedition sets up camp in the caves they get some booze done... What else? The Phantom Empire reminds me of classics like Journey to the Center of the Earth, The Time Machine and Forbidden Planet, but transformed to a pulp magazine version: half naked ladies, cannibal monsters (hilarious masks!), almost some gore, robots and some more funny stuff put together in a wild mixture. Production value is low, cast okay, to sum it up: some movie out of the trash can. Whether this film is of any good for you is a question of mood and taste - you may dare to give this one a try if you like sometimes to dig on the other side of the coin, then and only then, The Phantom Empire may provide you with some entertainment and fun moments.

OK, so it's not Lawrence of Arabia. It's also not the absolutely terrible "Cleopatra" with Liz and Dick either. There are awful movies which are unwatchable and awful movies which are eminently watchable, and this is one of the latter. And lest you think I have no standards, I'm perfectly willing to put "Robot Monster" in the category of an awful movie that is utterly unwatchable. If you like cheesy fun that doesn't take itself seriously at all, and in fact is a parody of itself, then sit back with some popcorn and have a good time. And besides, it takes a certain quirky sense of humor to pair a wannabe Robby the Robot with Sybil Danning as an alien queen.

Despite the title, not a remake of the 1935 trash classic with Gene Autry. In this Fred Olen Ray movie, an expedition enters a (very bright) dark cave and discovers cave girls including the cute Michelle Bauer, dinosaurs, cannibals, a robot firing green laser beams and, above all, the voluptuous Sybil Danning as a black leather alien queen. Now, read it slowly again. Does that make any sense? No, it doesn't, you can't even land a space ship in a cave with walls all around. Therefore, no need to argue whether it's a bad movie, since you already know the answer. This is mindless fun for a special audience, and if you like to see Sybil Danning kill a tiny stop animation dinosaur with a spear, get your copy.

Another 80s Fred Olen Ray flick I had never seen, but knew quite well due to seeing stills of Sybil Danning in her tight leather outfit. Denae Chambers (Susan Stokey) hires Cort Eastman (Ross Hagen) and his female sidekick Eddy (Dawn Wildsmith) to help locate a rumored lost world in the center of the earth that might have tons of priceless jewels. Joining them on their expedition are Prof. Strock (Robert Quarry) and Andrew Paris (Jeffrey Combs). What they find after venturing 15 miles into a cave is another world ruled by an alien queen (Sybil Danning). This is so-so stuff from Ray that doesn't really pick up until the last 20 minutes. The best thing about it (other than Michelle Bauer getting topless) is the rapport between hard drinking Cort and Eddy. Combs is also an always welcome presence. Seeing this, DEEP SPACE, THE TOMB and PRISON SHIP all so close together also makes me respect the acting of Stokey as she played wildly different characters in each one. And, of course, Danning in anything 80s is require viewing. Yowza!

The Phantom Empire (1988) is a movie that I recently watched on Tubi. The storyline follows a young lady whose father disappeared in caves looking for some diamonds but was killed by something in the cave. The young lady hires a team to find her father and the diamonds but will they suffer the same fate as the father? This movie is directed by Fred Olen Ray (Spidora) and stars Jeffrey Combs (The Frightners), Ross Hagen (Wonder Women), Dawn Wildsmith (Surf Nazis Must Die), Sybil Danning (Halloween), Suzy Stokey (Star Slammer) and Robert Quarry (Count Yorga, Vampire). The settings for this movie are very well selected and the cave scenes are well shot and delivered. The cast is awesome and I loved both Combs and Danning in this. The movie starts with a great kill and decapitation and then takes some time to get going again. The special effects are inconsistent with the robot being cool, dinosaur sequence being fun but dated and the futuristic cars being cool. The women are gorgeous and there's some great female fight scenes in this with of course, a few flashes of nudity. The writing is nothing special but the concept keeps your attention from beginning to end. Overall, this is an average movie that's still worth a watch. I would score this a 5-5.5/10 and recommend seeing it once.

This is hilarious. A classic camp movie, it's just awful in every way. The acting is half a step above terrible, the soundtrack is horrendous, and the directing is barely mediocre. Yet it was still fun, for me at least. The plot alone was enough to watch it. It should have been called "Attack of the Amazon Women from Outer Space Who Have Robots and Who Fight Underground Cannibals and Capture Normal People." Absolutely hilarious. Enjoyable if you're a fan of campy films, but still just a 3 out of 10.