The Minion

source: The Minion

THE MINION is a very poor B-movie spin on a theme popular during the last years of the 1990s, namely demonic possession and end-of-the-world religious mumbo-jumbo. Schwarzenegger's apocalyptic END OF DAYS is the best known of this genre, but that came later; THE MINION's main source of inspiration is the underrated Denzel Washington flick FALLEN, as it borrows that film's figure-hopping demon. Sadly, this is a much lesser production, a Canadian movie made by people who have no idea how to insert tension, thrills and horror into their production. It's cheesy throughout, overacted by an unrestained cast, and the whole thing is a disappointment. Dolph Lundgren's stoic hero deserves better.

It's amazing that Dolph Lundgren managed to produce so many film but most of them are rubbish, no all of them are rubbish.

This is an okay time killer, but you could do a lot better. The 1st half is kind of dull, with lots of boring and pointless dialog, but the 2nd half is great with lots, of action, however, Dolph has done a LOT better, as i was a bit disappointed by this movie. This may be Dolph's worst(well at least that i have seen so far), and, the ending was kinda abrupt. The Direction is kind of bland. Jean-Marc Piché does okay here, but it's kinda dull, some of the visuals were cool,and some of the camera tricks are cool, but it's kind of bland, and the pace is extremely inconsistent. Not much gore or violence here. We get some non bloody stabbings, non bloody impalings, a few bloody gunshot wounds, and some bloody corpses and bodies. The Acting for the most part is good. Dolph Lundgren is AMAZING as always, however, he looked bored here, and had to spurt out some awful dialog, but he kicked that ass, and made the movie bearable, and his chemistry with Françoise Robertson, is decent. Françoise Robertson, is good looking but is kind of annoying at times, but she did okay. Overall worth a rent but not much more. **1/2 out of 5 Dolph has done a lot better.

I appreciate the fact that Lundgren tried to do something different for his image with this movie. I understand that he wanted to explore some new (for him) cinematic territory – a horror movie. Unfortunately this movie is just SO bad that I can't think of any redeeming quality in it. I simply can't believe that they spent 12 million $ on this movie. By the way it looks it couldn't cost more than 1000 $. OK , so the artifacts looked authentic enough to pass for medieval or Gothic period pieces. Where did they spent all the money ? That's a mystery more intriguing than the whole movie. Dolph Lundgren in this movie plays a tough guy priest ! He is simply unconvincing and gives one of worst performances in his career. He also delivers some of the worst dialogues in his career. The rest of the actors is bad too. The movie is awfully directed. There is no suspense and the pacing is very awkward and sluggish. If you're counting on some fun action scenes you'll be disappointed. The fights are badly choreographed and shot. I've seen better fights in amateurish movies… The story rips off "Fallen" and "End of days" , but that's the smallest problem. The authors couldn't even get the dates right (The Knights Templar did not even exist until the early 12th century). The story is stupid and pathetic. It's a snoozefest. I give it 1/10.

When archaeologist Karen Goodleaf (Robertson) goes to investigate a burial site found underneath New York City, she gets way more than she bargained for. Among the relics is an ancient key. This key just happens to unlock the hiding place of "The Minion", a devil or demon of some sort. Luckily, Lukas (Dolph), is sent from a monastery in Jerusalem to help recover the key before it falls into the wrong hands. As it turns out, Lukas is a direct descendant of The Templars, and his "warrior priest" status helps Karen fend off the powers of The Minion, whose spirit can inhabit the bodies of others. What will happen to the mysterious key? The Minion has some noteworthy ideas, such as modern-day Templars, and the dialogue is fairly interesting, or at least attempts to be. For example, The Minion has the ability to turn you into a were-minion. So many DTV movies seem like they're not even trying. Say what you will about The Minion, you could tell the filmmakers were at least putting forth some effort into delivering a product with some worthwhile thought put into it. The dialogue to convey said ideas is delivered convincingly by Dolph, who must have chosen this role because it's a bit different than what he's usually known for (or he was hitting a rough patch in his career and had no other option but to go to Canada and shoot this). Now while there are historical references (among plenty of mumbo-jumbo, of course) - the film borrows heavily from such contemporary movies as The Relic (1997), but crosses it with C.H.U.D. (1984), of all things. Dolph can only stop the evil with a huge spiked glove, highly reminiscent of The Glove (1979). But it's one of the cooler aspects of this movie nonetheless. Actually, an entire movie could - nay - MUST be made of Dolph fighting more baddies and punks with a spiked glove. Come to think of it, forget all this mystical demon noise. Dolph and "The Glove" forever! Who's with us? Anyway, add in a demon in some kind of supernatural prison, and Dolph as the most badass dude to wear a white Priest's collar, and you have a decently entertaining Dolph vehicle, despite its flaws. It may not be one of Dolph's shining moments, but The Minion really isn't all that bad. It's a good one-time watch. For more insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com

This post may betray parts of the plot to the reader and also ruin the movie for the reader if they have not already watched it. The first paragraph is solely a recommendation and has no information about the movie or its outcome. So it is safe to read, any paragraph following may or may not contain information about the movie. Read this at your own peril. This is without a doubt one of the best movies I have ever seen, I would highly recommend this movie to anyone. Dolph Lundgren (Lukas) is at his best and Françoise Robertson (Karen Goodleaf) shines in this movie. This story is well written and has a great plot, with some great choreographed fight scenes. The Director (Jean-Marc Piché) did such a great job when he directed this movie that it is obvious that he put in allot of hard work and long hours in putting this great movie together. The actors perform so superbly that I would have to say that they are great actors and actresses. As to the special effects they did such a great job making the actual fighting seem real. It is so obvious that anyone who has seen this movie would see how great it is. I would recommend to anyone that they either purchase, rent, borrow, or watch this movie on TV. Karen Goodleaf shows great courage and heroism throughout the movie, and endures the death of a loved one with dignity. This movie unlike so many others potrays the Native American Community as an honorable and respectable community with a unique culture and value system. Lukas displays honor, dedication, loyalty, adoration for god, and many other attributes that are so often not potrayed in the common American movie. Dolph Lundgren carries out his mission to prevent the Minion from releasing Lucifer from his prison with a missionary zeal. The potrayal of the Catholic Church and the Knights of Templar was without a doubt one of the best.

Dolph Lundgren stars as a templar who comes to New York when a key that unlocks the anti-Christ is found by an archaeologist, of course the demon is only a couple miles behind Dolph and isn't killed so easily as he transfers from body to body. (Like Fallen without the suspense) Of course Lundgren is out of his element and the movie is completely unwatchable. I admit to being a fan of Dolph Lundgren, like Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme, I try to watch his movies whenever they're on TV. I caught The Minion and boy was I ever disappointed. This movie is utterly terrible. With action sequences so poorly staged and badly edited you can barely make coherent sense in the fight arena. Worst of all is Lundgren's woefully unconvincing perf as a tough guy priest (!) all of this made worse that the movie is such a rip off of Fallen (Which was good) and End Of Days (Which was bad but better than this) overall this movie is the worst movie I've seen from Dolph Lundgren. It literally has nothing to recommend it. It's awful and it's the lowest point in Lundgren's career. And I saw Cover-Up, The Last Warrior and Masters Of The Universe. 1/2* Out Of 4-(Awful)

STAR RATING:*****Unmissable.****Very Good***Okay**You Could Go Out For A Meal Instead*Avoid At All Costs. Sigh,why must Dolphy boy always go on about being a better actor than people give him credit for when he keeps churning this sort of far fetched nonsense out. I suppose from what I was expecting of it,it was entertaining enough.His accomplice was quite attractive,though she was dressed kind of like a hooker.But,as ever,towards the end,I thought it just got pathetically silly.Nuclear silos?What on earth did they have to do with the story?And since when can you phone somebody in a church? I've come to a conclusion that I will probably enjoy most of his films...but I'm going to stop taking them so seriously,because they're at the mental level of a 2 year old. Passable,daft hokum.**

The Minion (AKA Fallen Knight) stars Dolph Lundgren as a priest who must keep a key out of the hands of a demon who is trying to set the antichrist free. This is not a movie...It consists of one sided fights (That are poor) And bad acting that will make anybody groan. The Templars should keep this movie from an audience.....Because this groan inducing bore will have you wishing the end of the world would happen just you could get out of this stinkbomb. What was Dolph thinking? * (Out of four)