The Majorettes

source: The Majorettes

Written and produced by John A. Russo, which he adapted from his own novel, this is yet another weird trip to Western Pennsylvania by the man who brought us the scripts for Night of the Living Dead and Midnight. Trust me, I live here, and I could tell instantly that this film emanated from my home base (Coraopolis and the Fox Chapel Yacht Club, in this case). It's directed by Bill Hinzman, who was the first zombie that we see in Night of the Living Dead. He also made Flesheater, which is one of the absolute worst films I've ever seen, which really says something. The astounding thing here is that this movie sets you up for a slasher where majorette squad members are getting offed one after the other, but then switches the plot numerous times to bring in police corruption, elder abuse, Satanic bikers and vigilante justice. The end of this movie is pretty much as dark as it gets, but then again, this is also a movie that has someone who is not the slasher kills its final girl off nearly thirty minutes before the credits. You have to respect that level of disrespect for the more disrepsectful of all genres.

Just when you think there's nothing new out there, you see The Majorettes. A semi-slasher film that owes a lot to The Prowler, although certainly not the gore scenes. Bill Hinzman helmed this picture and only one other, Flesh Eater. Reportedly based on a novel, this isn't totally bottom of the barrel but it certainly tries. A killer in camouflage is stalking the Majorettes at a high school. You will find out this is because he believes they are filthy and in need of killing. After seeing them dance and twirl batons, you, too, will seek to dismember them. They are truly awful. The acting is atrocious, as is the dialogue, and many scenes end awkwardly focusing on a character after they just finished their lines then the camera lingers a bit too long on their faces. There are some throat slashings, but most of the deaths by blade involve shots of the knife descending rather than hitting its mark. And, just as I was getting supremely bored with this film, a stupid subplot comes out of nowhere and actually improves things. The film actually has a few subplots: besides the killer not-so-subtley stalking the girls, there is also a German nurse who wants to kill an old lady and her granddaughter(also a Majorette) to get an inheritance and a biker gang that looks like rejected roadies for Motorhead who want to get revenge on a jock for squealing on a dope dealer. These all crash into each other about an hour into the film and the murders actually take a back seat to the jock's showdown with the bikers. All of the budget effects went into this scene, which is a shame since it could have better been used during the killer's work. The musical score is, well, interesting. Often derivative of other 80's thrillers, and this isn't a bad thing, we are also treated to a variety of guttural moans over the soundtrack. And it's not a woman moaning, so it gets very annoying. This is for slasher completists or for bad movie night.

A psychopath wearing camouflage with a hunting knife as his weapon, commences in slaying female majorettes across the throat while bathing their bodies in water "purifying their sins". A reluctant county detective is placed on the case with a sheriff who doesn't want his company. A nurse, whose son is the high school janitor and resident idiot with a vent opened up in his supply closet so he can spy on the majorettes removing their clothes in preparation for the showers(..while also taking snapshots of them, for his private collection), hopes to gain a great sum of money from her employer's will..the employer is an invalid, pretty much a vegetable unable to speak due to a stroke that has left her practically a zombie in a wheelchair. The nurse informs the poor woman of her diabolical plans while injecting her with heavy doses of insulin. Meanwhile, a gang of drug-dealing hoodlums selling their dope to underage teens cause problems towards a high school quarterback and his friend(..she's the granddaughter of the invalid the nurse plans to kill, and also a victim-to-be set up for execution due to what she'd receive in the will at the age of 18)which culminates in two tragic shoot-outs leaving quite a many dead. The nurse, thanks to her voyeur son's taking photos of a victim as she's being mutilated by the killer, blackmails the serial killer, wanting him/her to execute her employer's granddaughter to keep their silence. While I give a lot of love to the "Russo camp" for keeping it real by investing the film with local folks, this film is burdened by the cast's inabilities to adjust to acting in front of the camera. The screenplay is uneasy as the film moves from one scenario to another, with nearly everyone winding up dead. Though, everything ties together somehow, the glue is running and so is the audience for the eject button. I did think the twist regarding the identity of the killer was nifty and the final scene I thought worked really well. The slasher portion of the film I felt was rather clumsily staged and dragged out a bit too long removing the power these are supposed to bring when we are being led through a building murder sequence where the killer is about to strike his prey. The attacks are rather uninspired and typical of the genre. I feel the convoluted uneven story will leave many slasher fans frustrated and the killer's identity is revealed a bit too soon. The shootout belongs in another film(..although, I did enjoy both shootouts I must admit)and feels tacked on..although, the first shootout spoils the nurse's initial plans and shockingly some important characters wind up dead a lot sooner than one would expect. There's some nudity, particularly in the majorettes' locker room. As far as the attacks, most of the violence, except a few throat slicings, is off-screen. Kevin Kindlin, the quarterback who wages war with the nasty bikers, would later return as the lead "vampire" in Russo's flick, "Dark Craving."

The Majorettes starts out as a below average, badly acted, boring slasher film. A killer in camouflage is murdering the majorettes at a local high school. Big deal. But suddenly at the half way mark, the narrative shifts and it becomes a vigilante flick as one of the slain girl's boyfriends runs around shirtless, dishing out vigilante justice against a group of dope dealers with an M-16. You've gotta see it to believe it. Needless to say, this bizarre twist boosts the entertainment value slightly and saves this movie from the doldrums of crummyville. No talent in front of or behind the camera, but worth a look for bad movie fanatics.

Weak adaption of a not so great horror book both done by John Russo. A hooded killer is out on the loose killing off high school girls. A local gang is a prime suspect. Full of red herrings, dumb plot twists, an an unexplicable change of tone halfway through the film and then again towards the end of the film. This film is a real stinker in all respects. Rated R; Sexual Situations, Violence, and Profanity.

*No spoilers that I know of. Well, maybe just one.* I did so, partly out of curiosity/partly out of prurient desire. In most low-budget slasher films, back then (mid-to late 1980's), half the female victims were always cheerleaders. This one featured baton twirlers as the targets! "Something different, for once," I thought to myself, at the time. Well, I quickly found out the only difference was the clothing. Skintight, semi-sequined leotards. Not bad! But, not good enough to compensate for the acting (or, lack thereof). Definitely, a B-MINUS movie! The only reason I can think of for the sheriff being the slasher? He probably got lured into some humiliating trap by a majorette, on behalf of some overindulged jocks, back when he was in high school. Russo and Hinzman, however, obviously couldn't afford to film such an explanatory flashback. And, the only reason I give this 1.9 stars? IT'S STILL WAY BETTER THAN "CABIN FEVER!"

I actually know someone who liked this movie, but I'm with the other users who didn't care for it. To my mind, it would only be somewhat worthwhile to watch it if you'd first read John Russo's Making Movies: The Inside Guide to Independent Movie Production, where he goes into some detail about some of the aspects of making The Majorettes. Incidentally, in that book he states that the budget was about $200,000. That seems about right. It certainly didn't look like it was made for any more than that! In the movie, someone dressed in camouflage and wearing a camouflage hood is killing (primarily) high school majorettes with a knife. He leaves their bodies in whatever water is nearby: a lake, a pool. There are plenty of red herrings. There's a dope dealer and his gang, a peeping-tom retarded janitor, the janitor's sinister nursemaid mother. The killer is revealed about an hour into the movie, and it largely turns into an action film from that point on.

The general opinion is that this slasher flick by the "Night of the Living Dead" co-creators John Russo and Bill Hinzman really sucks. And in this case I'm afraid the general opinion is right on the money. What you basically have here is a bunch of barely legal Hollywood bimbos/Motley Crue groupies playing barely illegal high school majorettes who, when they're not prancing around in butt-hugging leotards or skimpy bikinis, are taking long, hot showers and getting butchered by a maniac in military fatigues. I guess I'm not entirely complaining, but these ingredients do not necessarily a good horror movie make. The problem is this movie is derivative to the nth degree. At one point the movie lifts a scene (in a swimming pool) almost verbatim from "The Prowler". And I think this film sets a new record for stupid characters saying, "So and so, is that you?" I'd almost think this was meant to be a pre-"Sceam" parody/homage of the slasher films, but it is neither particularly funny nor clever, just tediously unoriginal. The only thing that sets it apart from other bottom-of-the-barrel slasher dreck is a really stupid action/revenge sub-plot where the studly quarterback takes on a particularly unconvincing motorcycle gang (and if there was one genre that hit bottom more consistently than the 80's slasher films it was the 80's action/revenge films). Amazingly, this empty-headed film was actually based on a novel by John Russo. I would read that instead--it can't possibly be any worse.

I must be weird, when everyone else talks of John Russo they think of "Night Of The Living Dead", when I talk of John Russo I think of mind-numbing crap like "Satan Claws", "Midnight", and this cinematic turd. For an hour it's a horrid "horror" movie about a slasher picking off Majorettes (the girls that are not hot enough to be cheerleaders), then it turns into a gawd-awful action movie. Hey, John, pick a genre and stick with it. Don't show the world that you suck at every kind of movie equally. My Grade: F DVD Extras: "one by one" Featurette; Yearbook; "One by one" trailer; Soundtrack; Trailers for "Flesh for the Beast", "Flesh Eater", "Slaughter Hotel" & "Faceless"