The Hurricane Heist

jj

For those who have never heard of it? That's a Bulgarian stew. . .made of tripe. The only reason I went to see this film, at my hometown multiplex, was due to WRINKLE IN TIME having been sold out. The exact opposite of this Anglo-Bulgarian co-production. I was--quite literally--the only customer in the theater during the 4:30 matinee! And, having recognized all the plot elements so liberally borrowed from the movies mentioned above, I can easily see why. Oh, it's a pleasant enough little time killer, if you can't get to see any of the new, bigger budget releases (like W. I. T.). But, as mildly exciting as it is, it still doesn't change the fact that the only big-name actor in the whole cast is that old Charioteer of Fire, himself; Ben Cross. Playing, of all things, an Alabama police chief! And a predictably corrupt one, at that. Then, there's the estranged brothers who lost their poor old daddy during Hurricane Andrew. The guy seriously thought he could get his tow truck unstuck before the hurricane he was barely keeping ahead of, on the open road, caught up to him and killed him on the open ground? Even I can't suspend that much disbelief! I mean, the common sense thing to do would have been to say "S***w the truck!" and just put himself and his two sons in the cellar of that farm house. But, then again, I guess that just goes to prove that "common sense" is a bigger contradiction in terms than "honest Republican President." Speaking of which, I bet the NRA are going to love how Breeze Rutledge makes use of all that extra storage space in his garage. I wouldn't even be surprised if they were silent partners to one of that hodge-podge of production companies listed at the beginning of the film! In short? If you want to avoid the long line of families waiting to see Disney's version of the Madeline L'Engle classic, then go see this film with a clear conscience. Otherwise, save your money.

This is my first review. But i just hadto write one! I think this might be the worst movie ive ever seen - if i wanted a serious film. However, its so bad that its actually kinda good because its funny! It makes zero sense! The cars are being blown over but the people are stood there just fine. Barely even a hair moving! At one point theres a hurricane outside but they have their windows open like its a sunny day! They can open doors and things with ease! Its so fake its funny. As for the end! It looks like some sort of tornado is chasing them. They're supposed to be in the eye of the storm so how do they manage to outrun the storm? They should hit the other side of the eye! Like i said, its pretty silly! If youre after a laugh id watch it because its so bad its good!!

Spoilers This is an okay movie. It just really seemed like a remake of Hard Rain but without Morgan Freeman, Randy Quaid, Christian Slater or Minnie Driver. All the same characters but with different actors. Corrupt driver who's the inside man. Corrupt police force. One man and woman stands in the way. The only difference is we added a brother. My one question, did they leave the military guys locked in the cage to drown?

When I saw the overall score of 4/10 I didn't expect much. It's far fetched and unrealistic in a lot of areas. However the 100 minutes flew past. It's action packed pretty much all the way through. Ok there's some moments of poor acting and there's plenty of places you will say to yourself "no way would that happen", but overall it's well worth watching. Just don't expect a blockbuster. I thought giving it 5 was a little unfair so I gave it a 6/10.

There are times when all I want to do is to sit in a darkened movie theater, turn off my brain, and let a movie with a silly, over-the-top premise wash all over me. THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS films are an example of an "A" in this category. Last year's GEOSTORM was a "B" (it was so over-the-top that it was fun, especially when the meteorologist declared - as if he was reciting Shakespeare - "Oh my God, it's a GEOSTORM!"). Unfortunately, a "C" example of this is THE HURRICANE HEIST. Directed by Rob Cohen - who brought us the original FAST AND FURIOUS film lo' those many years ago - THE HURRICANE HEIST tells the tale of a HEIST set during a...anyone?...HURRICANE. That's pretty much all you need to know of the plot. The rest is action, escapes, weather gone bad, bad guys being bad guys and good guys being good guys. The good guys are Toby Kebbel (so good as the motion capture bad-guy ape in DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES), perennial "B"-movie actress Maggie Grace (TAKEN, LOST and the immortal HOT GIRL, FAST CAR, EATING A BANANA) and Ryan Kwanten (I guess he was in TRUE BLOOD). What do these good guys have in common? They are not hard to look at on the screen. The two men also have really bad Southern accents. The bad guys are led by Ralph Ineson ( a perennial "that guy" in such films as STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI, GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY and KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE) and a host of "red shirts". The problem is that Ineson plays his bad guy role as a "that guy" and the "red shirts" have no personality at all. One guy tries to be the "loose cannon" but he doesn't go far enough, nor does Ineson or ANY of the bad guys. Oh...did I mention Ben Cross (Sarek in the new STAR TREK films)? Cross leaped off the screen in the Oscar winning film CHARIOTS OF FIRE way back in 1981 and was going to be "the next big thing". How has that worked out for him? I'm sure he's making a nice living, but... But...you don't come to this kind of films for the acting. You come to it for the insane premise, the over-the-top acting, the out-of-this-world stunts and special effects. Unfortunately, THE HURRICANE HEIST plays each one of these "safely". The premise is insane, just not insane enough. The acting is melodramatic - just not over-the-top. The script doesn't really have any "oh-my-gosh, did he just say that" lines and the action, stunts and special effects are pretty good, (maybe even good), but not great. A pretty mediocre time at the movies. It did serve it's purpose, I turned my brain off for two hours. I just wish it didn't power down as well. Letter Grade: C (thanks for trying) 5 (out of 10) stars and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)

Right from the opening sequence I knew this was going to be a terrible movie. The acting was terrible and behavior was not normal at all. After the opening sequence I couldn't figure out why it had even been included, it sure didn't need to be there, it didn't really add anything to the movie and it could have been explained later with a few lines of dialog. Oh that's right, whoever wrote the dialog for this movie needs to have their computer confiscated so they never attempt to write anything ever again. I'm wondering if the writer was related to some hot shot of the movie, maybe Rob Cohen's niece or nephew or his third cousin twice removed? They sure didn't get the job on talent. I feel like the plot of this movie was totally lifted from Hard Rain 1998 only Hard Rain had a great script and great actors. The only actor in this movie that I'm familiar with is Ryan Kwanten and to be honest he wasn't in True Blood because of his acting ability. I really wanted Maggie Grace to be Katherine Heigl, I think Katherine could have elevated this movie and she would have been more believable, even with the crappy dialog. I can't say Rob Cohen's movies are known for dialog and plot but this is ridiculous. It's like a bunch of people got together on a rainy weekend and decided to write their very first script. I don't know how to say it other than the dialog was just plain awful, it's worse than any low budget Lifetime or Sci-Fi channel movie of the week I've ever seen. Watching this movie I can't believe it's even being show in theaters, it's not quality, it's a TV movie and not even a good TV movie. Sharknado looks like an Academy Award nominee compared to this tragedy. I don't want to include any spoilers, not that it would be possible for me to spoil this movie for you, the producer and director already took care of that. The action sequences were alright, they could have been really good if the cinematography were better. The lighting was so muted nothing really stood out. I get it, there's a hurricane, it's rainy and gloomy but even the inside sequences looked washed out and gloomy. I don't want to sound like a broken record but in Hard Rain the weather conditions were kind of similar and that movie looked awesome, you knew they were in a serious rain storm but it didn't look like you were watching the movie through a gauze filter. There was opportunity to be more suspenseful and to create plot twists to give the movie a little substance but they ignored it, in fact they pretty much laid everything out in the open so there were no surprises. It's really not worth the price of the ticket, I'd say if you're really curious wait 4 to 6 weeks and it'll be on Netflix or HBO.

These are the fakest southern accents I've heard in a long time. And cheesy acting. Also hurricane is blowing away cars and stuff but not people

Let me be clear, The Hurricane Heist is one of the worst-made theatrical films I have ever seen. It's plot jumps all over the place, it has too many underdeveloped characters, its incredibly implausible, and has terrible acting and special effects. HOWEVER... I highly recommend viewing it if you love so-bad-it's-good films like The Room and Troll 2. Me and my girlfriend could not stop laughing during the entire movie (as was another group in our screening). Unintentional hilarity is constant, whether it's the main character's horrific Southern accent, cringey product placement, or hilariously overblown action scenes. I love that The Hurricane Heist came out in 2018, in a year filled with darkness and depression, sometimes we need a good old-fashioned terrible action movie to laugh out asses off to!

The Hurricane Heist-360P