The First Turn-On!!

source: The First Turn-On!!

Four teenagers and a summercamp counselor find themselves trapped in a cave after an avalanche. The quintet decide to make the time pass by faster by swapping (wildly embellished) stories about their first sexual experiences. Directors Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz, working from a blithely lowbrow script, gleefully wallow in a cheerfully crude and stupid sense of anything-goes dippy toilet bowl humor with a steady succession of always sophomoric and often sidesplitting no-brainer jokes about such things as pot smoking, hillbillies, urination, *, herpes, and a hysterical group orgy scene that's truly something to behold. Naturally, we also get a tasty truckload of yummy female nudity and lots of leering soft-core sex. The cast broadly overact their colorful roles with deliciously enthusiastic go-for-it relish, with especially amusing contributions by Georgia Harrell as annoyingly chipper nature freak Michelle, Michael Sanville as macho lout Mitch, Googy Gress as tubby slob Henry, Heidi Miller as luscious tart Annie Goldberg, John Flood as the cocky Danny Anderson, Betty Pia as Danny's shrewish mom Ms. Anderson, and Mark Torgl (Melvin the mop boy in "The Toxic Avenger") as supremely disgusting geek Dwayne. Insanely foxy "Penthouse" Pet Sheila Kennedy burns up the screen as basically herself while Vincent D'Onofrio in his ignominious cinematic debut goes totally over the top as incredibly obnoxious psycho Lobotomy. The bouncy soundtrack and cornball stock film library score further enhance this picture's considerable inane charm. This is the type of flat-out idiotic junk that's frequently very funny because of its gloriously blatant and unapologetic dumbness. A complete raunchy'n'wacky riot.

It's obvious what they were trying to do, but they completely failed. Unnecessary nudity and not at all funny. Managed to fail at one of the easiest genres.

Even though this movie is an "80s" movie, it still stands out a bit on its own. It's a raunchy sexually charged teen flick that has grown adults who are hard pressed to pass as teenagers, well, acting as teenagers. This flick is a mindless, offbeat teen entertainment sprinkled with sexual stimulus throughout. It does what it does. They don't hand out Academy awards for this type of movie. This was probable the 1st rated R movie I ever saw. I was about 9 years old at the time. And cable tv then had a button on the remote that would unscramble whichever 'Pay Per View' movie you wanted to see and it charge your monthly bill. However, I had discovered if you didn't watch more than 30 seconds at a time, you would never get charged. This movie had me coming back in 30 second bits until I saw it all. My only complaint was how they got out of the cave. Just when things were getting the most interesting. I the movie could have been 5 minutes longer at the end. I see a few reviewers mentioning how ugly the women are in the movie. Not only do I disagree, I find that just an excuse to be mean to people. These women rock it on camera. This movie holds a special place in my erotic comedy heart. And I come back to it from time to time. I don't do that with a lot of movies.

One of Troma's first entries in the teen sex comedy genre, it is average at best. "The First Turn On!!" is about a bunch of idiot teen campers and a female counselor get stuck in a cave and "describe" their first sexual encounters. This is a pretty subaverage fare for even Troma films. In the world of teenage sex romps it pales in comparison to recent films such as "American Pie" and "Road Trip." There are some highlights in this film. This was a first film for Vincent D'Onofrio (Full Metal Jacket, Feeling Minnesota, Men in Black, Steal this Movie!) as a fat loser and a funny cameo by comedian and all-around nice guy Rondell Sheridan as a gang member. The real gem of this movie is the sound track from the seminal new wave band "Shrapnel" featuring some of their best (and unreleased) stuff. Hearing the song "Sleep Over" and the goofy performances by Sheridan and D'Onofrio are worth giving this film a watch on cable or a $1.00 rental (but not much else).

The First Turn-On!! (must have the two exclamation points there because, hey, more stuff on the poster!!) is a sex-romp where we get to see the inside scoops on what the "first time" was like for a few ass-wipes and two stuck up chicks (to speak in Beavis & Butt-head tongue), and they all beef up their stories that they tell in the cave after an avalanche makes the cave impenetrable... he-he, impenetrable, is that a funny? Well, no, on to the movie itself, one of the early collaborations between Troma founder/bad-taste pioneers Michael Herz and Lloyd Kaufman, who share producer/director credits here. Their game, if one can't tell from their other movies, is intentionally hitting the lowest common denominator. They do have a tongue-in-cheek through most of it- that is when the misogyny doesn't scream out like a young lady's first or almost *- and at least they're not trying to be offensive... actually, no, that's a lie. If you got offended by this, they won half the battle (and if you paid for the whole DVD- as opposed to, with some wit, getting it off of Netflix instant-view, they won the other half). I would like to try to look deeper into some of the psychological ramifications of what the campers and camp-leader with the frizzy 80's hair and wide blue eyes go into, but does it matter? Whenever Kaufman and Herz try to get on with a story it makes so many detours it threatens to jump off a cliff with two * in your face. This said, throughout the raucous and stupid and juvenile and just flat-out gross and 11-year old humor wedged into a very-R-rated sex comedy, I actually did laugh at a few lines like "This would be easier than (bleeping) a tomato", and there were a few sight gags that did make me chuckle loudly. I could probably count those times on one hand. And I guess there are some nice bosoms, to note once again. The rest of it is obnoxious crap-comedy, the kind where you roll your eyes or just sit in momentary stunned silence and go "really, you had to go there? It's a Porky's knock-off at camp that unfortunately doesn't go far enough to anticipate 127 Hours. Now if they had to cut off some genitals to stay alive (mostly testicles) it might be a better night out.

Oh, poor Vincent D'Onofrio! The only people who should pay any money to see this movie are collectors who buy the DVD because they want to get everything Vincent D'Onofrio has ever done. And, for the record, he has no part in what makes this movie awful. That honor goes to the actors who had the main parts, and to the writers, and to the directors, and to the producers....You know, the collectors should pay for it, maybe, but I don't think that even they should see it. Keep it sealed and be afraid, be very afraid. Oh, O.K., true fans of Vincent D'Onofrio can watch what is, according to IMDb, his first film performance, if they have strong enough stomachs to deal with the rest of this garbage. This "teenage sex comedy" wasn't funny, wasn't sexy, and I don't think the performers looked particularly teen-aged!

My interest in this film was purely as a fan of Vincent D'Onofrio..and this is his first ever movie made at the tender age of twenty four. His role is small however, but his character is actually quite funny. He plays a psychotic,brainless teenager called Lobotomy..and oh, how his acting improved over the years! The film itself is a carry on movie meets Airplane! lots of silly humour and innuendo. It's set at a kids summer camp with dubious members of staff and centres around four teens and a dizzy blonde staff members stories of their first seductions..it is funny in parts but also very silly. It's not a bad film, just a piece of inane fluff.

A completely pointless excuse to put some of the ugliest women in the history of 'cinema' on screen without their tops on. I don't know where the comedy bit came into this film, as the funniest bit of it was watching the woman cop a double decker on the bowling alley. GOD AWFUL

J. Canker Huxley doesn't know what he's talking about. American Pie is garbage. It isn't funny. The First Turn-On is a classic from the days when there were such things as "teenage sex romps." It has no aspirations other than to amuse and to exploit. Movies like Road Trip and American Pie want to have their cake and eat it too---they try to be lewd and crude, yet still contain a "message" or be moral. The First Turn-On has no morals and therefore succeeds in being entertaining.