The Fat Spy

Moviecut—The Fat Spy

Apparently, the beach movie "Beach Blanket Bingo" was very successful with the wasted minds of 60s teenagers, for green-eyed exploiters were quick to copy it just for a part of the cash. This movie stars Jayne Mansfield, who is the daughter of a megabuck businessman who goes on a quest for the Black Rose (aka "The Fountain of Youth"). Very unfunny indeed, but it is a lot more enjoyable than "Beach Blanket Bingo", because it had only 1/18 of the energy in it. Be careful of the music!

My dad was forever telling my brother and I that this was the worst movie ever made. We never really believed him until a few years ago when my brother happened across this in a DVD bin somewhere. So, we sat as a family to watch this movie. The first 15 minutes feel like an eternity. This movie is so bad that our DVD player died after, maybe 30 minutes, just so that it didn't have to continue to play this drivel. We tell people all the time how bad this movie is, and when they don't believe us we lend them the DVD. So far, only our DVD player has committed suicide,but I'm hard-pressed to find someone (other than my father) who has actually managed to sit through the whole movie.

"Off the Florida coast, teenagers (sic) come to a nearly deserted island, rumored to have 'The Fountain of Youth.' This island's owner is none too happy about that, and dispatches his daughter, Junior, to get rid of them. The island's only resident, Irving (Jack E. Leonard), is Junior's sweetie. He is sent to spy on the kids to find out what they know. Irving's twin brother and his girlfriend Camille (Phyllis Diller), are also headed for the island, with their own nefarious plans," according to the DVD sleeve description. Baby-fattened Jayne Mansfield (as Junior) is introduced hiding her belly behind a bust of George Washington. But, the titular "Fat Spy" refers to "Bronx High School of Science" and "Fink University" stand-up comic Jack E. Leonard (as twins Irving and Herman). With a bald head, Mr. Leonard smooches Ms. Diller, while a toupee allows gets him some necking time with Ms. Mansfield. Her father is rotund Brian Donlevy (as George Wellington), who mutters something about "LSD 26"and speaks on a phallic telephone. Hopefully, Mr. Donlevy had more blackouts than flashbacks regarding this appearance. Leonard and Diller were likely able to laugh it off. Also appearing, in a candy-striped swimsuit, pop star Johnny Tillotson (as Dodo Bronk) re-plays the "Mermaid" subplot from "Beach Blanket Bingo" (1965). None of the aforementioned cast members are seen at their best, but four stars must be awarded Jordan Christopher and the Wild Ones (Chuck Alden, Tom Trick, Ed Wright and Tom Graves) for the bathing suits and tight tunes. "People Sure Act Funny" (an apt opener), "Nanette" and "Wild Way of Living" (the version nearer the end of the film) are highlights. **** The Fat Spy (5/11/66) Joseph Cates ~ Jack E. Leonard, Phyllis Diller, Jordan Christopher, Jayne Mansfield

As a longtime resident of SW Florida, I had to watch this film after finding out it was filmed entirely in the city of Cape Coral, and showed parts of Cape Coral Gardens (known to local residents as The Rose Gardens - an abandoned water park that was a popular hangout for teens back in the late 70's/early 80's). The story is pretty incoherent, and as a previous reviewer put it, was basically a sales pitch for the city of Cape Coral. It looks like the majority of it was shot at the Cape Coral Yacht Club (the beach scenes anyway), with the remainder being Cape Coral Gardens (obvious sale pitch for the park at about 1 hour in), and the corner of Del Prado Boulevard and Cape Coral Parkway. Pretty low budget... The performances, as well as the music... just plain bizarre (though it was the '60's). I rated this a "4" simply for the archival footage of the city I've known for 30 years. Of particular interest to local residents is a shot of the Iwo Jima statue - located originally at the entrance to Cape Coral Gardens, left abandoned when the park closed and long neglected for years... is the very same statue that now resides by Eco Park along Veteran's Memorial Parkway westbound from the Midpoint Bridge (one of the entrances to Cape Coral from the city of Fort Myers). And unbelievably...this film is available on DVD!

This quasi-comedy/parody of Teen Beach party films actually does have its fun moments. I particularly enjoyed the interactions between Jayne Mansfield's Junior and Jack E. Leonard's Irving myself. Nevertheless this is widely uneven and never quite fully succeeds in terms of the parody it's attempting to pull off. Plus it's not really all that funny either. Still if you're looking for something representative of the 1960s Beach Party phase but even more offbeat and strange than that, look no further (and the music really isn't so bad in terms of what came from the period).

I give the movie a 10 for La Mansfield. Yes, I am biased. This is more of a "low budget" beach movie. Basically a cast of characters is on the hunt for the fountain of youth. Jayne plays the daughter of a rich business tycoon in love with a nerdy heavyset scientist. She has an adorable little musical number "I'd Like To Be A Rose In Your Garden". She was pregnant during the filming of this motion picture. Its quite avant garde as we go from Phyllis Diller and Jack E. Leonard looking for the fountain of youth (can you believe Phyllis looks better TODAY than in this film) to a bunch of teenagers singing and dancing on the beach. Its cute and lots of fun and our Jaynie is lovely!

Not much. BUT, for a low (low, low, low) budget "beach party" film (set in Florida, for a change) there are *just* enough special moments to satisfy the truly curious. Those moments are all found in the musical numbers: Frank E Leonard croons to his long-lost love, cosmetics mogul Phyllis Diller, an amusing "love" song regarding Diller's supposed ugliness in "You Haven't Changed a Bit"....with lines like "the paper said that Peeping Tom was pulling down your shade.." Ironic, as Phyllis Diller looks quite good here. Jayne Mansfield portrays a chubby daddy's girl/bush pilot who is sent by her father (Brian Donlevy) to see what 'those kids' are up to, and in doing so meets up with her beloved (Frank E Leonard, in a second role). Jayne gets to sing one song, the charming "I'd Like To Be a Rose in Your Garden (But I'm Just a Thorn in Your Side)." In real life, Jayne is obviously pregnant (with her youngest child); in some scenes there was no attempt to conceal her growing belly. Maybe the intention was for her character to be plump? Other numbers include cast member Lauree Berger (a very appealing short-haired brunette who could easily have given Annette Funicello a run for her money) singing the weirdly upbeat but submissive ditty "You Put Me Down the Nicest Way You Can." Jordan Christopher and the Wild Ones appear as "the boys" and perform "The Turtle", a slow-moving dance -which is like nothing you'll ever see in the big-budget "beach" movies. However, none of these musical moments belong in the same film with the Jordan Christopher-Lauree Berger duet "Nanette", a dreamily beautiful melody that could have been a hit if it wasn't lost in this film. "The Fat Spy" succeeds in a few fragments -if not as a whole- and for that its worth a look.

Let's not beat around the bush. This movie is terrible. Jack E. Leonard is just not funny. He's fat in a rather unpleasant-looking way, he tries too hard, and he's given nothing funny to do in playing TWO PARTS. HOWEVER, for fans of the genuinely wrong-headed and insane, this movie has some appealing facets. The music is pretty doggone cool. The film begins very suddenly with two guys singing an acoustic rock number on a dock. Recorded live, they're just singing "People Sure Act Funny When They Get A Little Money", and it goes on for about 5 minutes and you don't know if it is part of the movie or what. It suddenly ends and shifts to a cool, cartoon mid-60s style of credits with a bouncy title tune. Later the band, The Wild Ones, treat us to their song "The Turtle". It's the "slowest dance you'll ever do," replete with leering camera shots of the chicks in their skimpy suits writhing along. The song really rocks in an intense way. The lead girl character gets a song of her own, which would serve as a brilliant parody of Lesley Gore, if the filmmakers were smart enough. It is unbelievably catchy, but the basic theme is "I'm so glad I never get my way and you are a man, because you put me down the nicest way you can." On second thought, that's the actual chorus! So these and a few other musical moments bring the movie to a level of disbelieving watchability. Fast forward through all the "comedy".

One would have to search pretty long and hard to find a worse movie than THE FAT SPY. This mid-Sixties teenage beach "comedy" is about as funny as an ingrown toenail. And the music is actually painful to listen to. Jayne Mansfield, not exactly one of your more talented actresses to begin with, turns in an exceptionally bad performance. Moreover, her legendary body is carrying an awful lot of excess baggage at this point in her life. CLAUDIA'S BOTTOM LINE: Please don't ever ever ever subject yourself this turkey.