The Courier

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source: The Courier

The spoilers will only appear in the last paragraph, so feel free to read until then, if you want to. Actually the spoiler will contain a comparison to another movie, just so you know. But lets look at the movies cast for second first. You have Jeffrey Dean Morgan who made a name of himself with the Watchmen (and his appearance in the Shutter Island I guess). Now he either missed out on opportunities after that or didn't get offered better roles I suppose. Whatever it is, he is not alone in this movie. Miguel Ferrer, whom most might remember from the TV show 24, but some might remember from his straight to video days in the 90s is there with some other familiar faces (more of that later on). And while they're all pretty decent and the pace is strolling along quite nice, this is not a revelation. Not really bad by any standards either. And here come the spoilers: The main bad guy who isn't revealed until the end, is easy to spot. I recognized his voice instantly. We are talking about ... Mickey Rourke of course. But when I say main bad guy, you obviously having seen the movie (or not caring), should know that he actually isn't. The Keyser Soze moment isn't really bad, but it doesn't really elevate the movie either.

A Courier (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) is tasked with delivering a package to a crime boss (Mickey Rourke) thought to be dead. Hilarity ensues. "Yeah, I Watched This Movie". That's the attitude I had when "The Courier" reached its conclusion. We have seen this type of movie before, often, and we have had more fun at the expense of a larger budget. But like so many other movies nowadays, we feel a bit let-down when the screen goes black. Jeffrey Dean Morgan, an exceptional actor who never seems to be the right fit for his character, does the best he can with what he has. His character wakes up in a crummy apartment infested with mice. He uses superglue to fix a nasty cut. Yet despite all this self-loathing, he has good friends and family that he cares about. What's with that? The female lead is bizarre. Her hairstyle makes it appear as if her follicles are desperate to escape from her scalp, and considering how bad it is, I can't blame it for trying. She also has an unnecessary dubbing-over occasionally when she speaks. Perhaps they shot the film and forgot to record her at places. Mickey Rourke and Til Schweiger, the other draws on the cover, are under and wrongly used. Rourke's head is only visible for the first half of his scenes, the latter's introduction is corny. Schweiger's bodyguard hasn't ever seemed to have used a fire arm before, let alone in a movie. An odd assortment of has-beens and ne'er-do-wells fill out the rest of the cast. Lily Taylor and Miguel Ferrer play a Team Rocket type pair of villains who never say much besides grunts and gunshots. Mark Margolis, the definitive "that guy!" of actors plays Morgan's dad, or something. I'll give you one guess as to his fate. "Yeah, I Watched That Movie." That is what I will say to people when they ask if I have seen "The Courier". And it might take me a minute to remember exactly what they are talking about.

The acting was good. Jeffrey Dean Morgan, did a great job. When Stitch was killed and the Courier and Anna grieved by going to bed, then I knew the plot was lame. How did the Courier find all the leads? There was never any indication...he just knew? The twist of Elvis lives and the Courier, was what one reviewer called "a muddled mess".....I agree. Then the ending with the couriers son, where did that come from and what happened to the son? The end result...the movie didn't make any sense, it didn't have a cohesive plot. The writer/screenwriter truly failed at what could have been a very good action movie. What a colossal waste of money for the backers.

Excellent film starring Mickey Rourke who gives a fine performance. and a cast of fine supporting actors. In the old studio days they would be called character actors and they would be part of a Studio stock company, for example John Ford has the same people like Jane Darwell, and Aldo Ray cast in his films, and Otto Preminger also had some of the same actors Such as Carol Lynley, and Keir Dullea and Jill Haworth,, and John Wayne cast many of the same people such as Glenn Corbett and Maureen O Hara, and Aldo Ray. The audiences never seemed to be bored and in fact looked forward to seeing these fine actors. In this film look out for a fine actor Tom Sicola who has a brawny presence in this film and others such as the Wrestler.

I stuck with this to the end. Why? There had to be some thing here that made the enterprise worthwhile. There is a weird scene that involves the victim of torture asking the questions. The female with the torturing tools gives a brief history of torture. There is an element of philosophy here but I am sure fans of torture will know this stuff off by heart anyway and I can do without such education. The millions of employees on the cast list at the end spell out what this movie is about. See The Producers. All will be clear. Don't watch this movie. It is spell blindingly dreadful and you will hate yourself at the end for watching it.

Absolutely terrible movie. One STAR is way too much! No one could follow the crazy plot. For instance how does one get permission to land a stolen plane? AND THEN be allowed to take the same plane back to the original departure location! Mickey Rourke gets worse with each movie. His Elvis impersonation was god awful. And the half baked ending! What was the FBI involvement? What crime did Rourke supposedly commit? What was the femme fatele secret? None of these were answered. And that stupid pointless ending! Where was the kid going? Terrible movie with terrible acting and senseless plot.

You are bound to think that this movie has Jeffrey Dean Morgan as a cheap version of Jason Statham in the role of the transporter; I hate to admit I did, and I'm a J.D. Morgan fan. So we're not off to a great start. Unlike the Statham role, Morgan takes a beating now and then, and has the bruises to match. The story is that of a courier of last resort (high risk jobs) who is targeted for revenge by a former associate. The plot is meant to have us discover the true identity of the courier and of his former associate in a surprise scene at the end. Unfortunately, this plot which is somewhat reminiscent of the 1987 Angel Heart, and I'm stretching just a bit, just does not have the build up of the 1987 highly rated film in which Mickey Rourke played a role reverse of this 2011 film, sort of that one played by De Niro. Rourke has less screen time than his credit would have us hope for. It's sort of a mystery action, but the mystery part just doesn't quite keep you interested; that mystery, when it does get revealed/explained way at the end is somewhat of a letdown. The fact that the key mystery figure, Evil Sivle played by Mickey Rourke, is masquerading as an Elvis impersonator, pretty lame anagram, would be enough to dissuade most from watching the movie. Well, I guess now that I spoiled it for you, you can thank me by checking the box for useful review. I'm a hard core J.D. Morgan fan and I love long time character actor Mark Margolis, whose performance in TV highest rated series Breaking Bad leaves no doubt about his acting talent, so I stuck it out to the bitter end. I can't say I hated it, but I won't recommend it either; I'd lose all credibility if I did. I think Morgan's career is getting hot, since his role as Clay in the 2010 movie The Losers; I liked his short role in the other 2010 movie Shanghai (not a popular release – it's a film noir genre that's not usually popular anyway). His newer TV series Magic City (I'll post my review soon), however, should get him much better movie scripts in the future.

The Courier actually read really well. I had it at the top of my weekly movie viewing and I happen to really, really, like Jeffrey Dean Morgan although the poor guy has such a hard time finding his way in Hollywood and this won't help him one little bit. This is simply trash. It is horrendously written, directed, edited, acted...you name it, they destroyed it. They try to slap together a few ingredients from other like minded action films and things that someone "thought" would look cool on screen but its cheesy, incredibly cheesy, with terrible dialogue and a story that makes absolutely no sense. Who is chasing who? Why are they chasing him? Who hired who? And most importantly who cares? I knew what I was in for right from the first scene (which seems to have very very little bearing on the actual story) but is blatantly done on a green screen so much so that it looks hokey. And then the very first fist fight is so poorly edited that its like watching two high school kids do prat falls and "pretend" fight. There are some genuinely violent scenes, the shoot outs are actually not bad, and some of the cinematography and locations settings are actually pretty good but it doesn't even come close to saving this absolute garbage-fest. I love Jeffrey Dean Morgan! Why can't this guy get a break! I will say that I think he really does try his utter best with what he is given which is virtually nothing. He plays a brooding, angry, violent courier of sorts who has been essentially set up although the reasons are extremely convoluted and confusing. Without him I never ever would have bothered to sit through more than fifteen minutes of this. Why Hollywood keeps casting Til Schweiger I will never understand. His style of acting is better suited for * films because the guy is just atrocious. He tries to be serious but everything he does comes across as completely campy. He is as expected in this, awful, as an FBI agent who seems almost cartoonish in his performance. But cartoonish is par for the course in this film as you have a Dr. Claw type villain named "Evil Sivel," (seriously? That's an anagram from Lives just to ruin the surprise for everyone...believe me I'm doing you a favour,) whom they show only in shadows and from behind to mask his identity when its obvious from voice, profile and the cover of the movie that its Mickey Rourke. He's awful and pointless because they under use him and make him into a cartoon character. Miguel Ferrer and Lili Taylor are straight from Rocky and Bullwinkle playing bumbling sidekicks that are supposed to be terrifying. I like both these actors and its a real shame they are wasted on this. And finally Josie Ho is atrocious as some sort of sidekick romantic interest who is literally painful to watch act. She is awful and the chemistry between her and Morgan is completely nil and awkward. As if the film couldn't get any worse they tack on this ridiculous non-sensical twist ending that is a complete laugh and is really the perfect lid on this garbage pail movie. As the story goes, the cast jumped on board simply because Hany Abu-Assad was directing and I'd love to know...why?! I've never heard of this guy before or any of his projects and if this is the quality of his film making then God help them all. There is absolutely NO WAY the budget on this film was 15 million dollars. There is nothing that would indicate any significant budget was put into anything and furthermore anyone that would give this script 15 million dollars needs their head examined. There is nothing worthy of your attention in this film. I sat through it out of respect for Jeffrey Dean Morgan but I won't ever lay eyes on this again. It was an undeniable atrocity. Avoid this at all costs!! 2/10