The Convent

source: The Convent

Usually I don't try and tell people NOT to see a movie. We all have different tastes, and someone might actually like a film I hate. I already saw a review title which gave this movie a good vibe. In my opinion they are WRONG. I just wouldn't feel right if I didn't warn you about how incredibly disappointed you'd be!!!!!!! Lousy special effects, a bad script, a crappy story line... and the fact that you can't even recognize David Gunn..... that just was too much to handle!!!!! The plotline could've worked if they just hadn't totally BLOWN it from the very beginning... seriously... I only rented it because David Gunn was in it, and he turned out to have such a bad role that it made me run into the bathroom and bow to the porcelain god. He was far better in "Vampire Journals". Then again, he was the hero in that movie. In this one he's a fasletto-ed nobody who thinks he's somebody! Seriously, stay away from this movie!

The Convent is a Underrated Comedy Horror Splatter. This Movie is fast paced and there is much gore and some really funny moments. The only issue that I have with this Movie it is too short ( without End credits only 69 Minutes ). This Movie deserves more credit especially in the Horror Community. The Main Actress and Adrienne Barbeau was solid too. Fully recommended

A group of college students (cheerleader, goth, stoner, jock, virgin) decide to visit the old convent that was shut down due to a nasty incident that occurred. The goth chick, Mo, is captured by wannabe devil worshipers and they unwittingly unleash demons. As demons take over the bodies of nice girl Clorissa's boyfriend and friends, only Adult Christine (played awesomely well by Adrienne Barbeau) can stop them. The opening scene sums up what is to follow. A beautiful babe in a school girl outfit and leather jacket with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth slaughters nuns and priests with a baseball bat, shotgun, and matches while "You Don't Own Me" plays. If you like this sequence, you will like the rest. Nuttiness ensues involving drugs, virgin sacrifices, forced abortions, gay Satanists, ditzy cheerleaders, and a pugnacious pug. Oh, and Coolio and Bill Moseley make appearances as no-good coppers. It should be noted that this is one of the earlier works from The Gravedancers director, Mike Mendez and won the Audience Award at Fantafestival. I have to say that my favorite scene (other than the opening) was set to the song "Dreamweaver" where stoner Biff gets high off shrooms and weed, hears Jesus talking to him, and tries unsuccessfully to mate with a demon. There were incredibly likable characters you watched run around. Goth chick Mo (also in The Gravedancers) is adorable, Stoner dude Biff was hilarious, and Young/ Adult Christine oozed coolness. Unfortunately, none of these great characters get more than a half hour screen time. Instead, we are stuck with the good girl Clorissa. As for the religious undertones, or in this case, way overtones, it is not preachy or sacrilegious. Mendez comes across as showing what is scary about the idea of having to conform within the confines of a convent. I saw that the SFX received bad comments in other reviews, but I felt was okay overall. The make-up was a tad silly in some parts like glow in the dark veins and neon blood. However, the prosthetics used to raise the demons foreheads looked realistic and the "blood shower" scene was cool. The "Antichrist birth" scene was especially good considering this was low budget and it was only on screen for about one minute. Favorite Quote: Satanist asks, "Are you the spawn of the Devil?" Nerd replies, "No, I'm a Lambda."… Or when Clorissa says, "My brother's going to be the next Antichrist? Mom's gonna be pi*ssed." DVD Extras: Audio Options (inc. Spanish Subtitles), Commentary, Behind the Scenes, 1 Deleted short Scene, and "Gore on Demand" which showed the death scenes up close and in slow motion. Bottom Line: A very goofy, fun film with lots of gore. Reminiscent of Night of the Demons or The Evil Dead. Rating: 7/10 Molly Celaschi www.HorrorYearbook.com MySpace.com/HorrorYearbook

This movie is one of the worst horror movies I have ever seen. From the very first scene, i knew it would be a smash crash. It starts with a seemingly bad girl killing a bunch of nuns in a mission. As it turns out, the people in it were possessed by some random zombies. Well, some years later, some college kids are pulling some pledge prank. Horrible acting goes from pledge to the head jock. Things like the jock yelling at him to do stuff in quite a non-chalonte manner, with pledge over reacting and over-doing the whole "eager to be popular role" What really took the cake with this one is the final battle. Absolutely HORRIBLE special effects with the guns. For example, guns making a noise with no muzzle flash, and vice-versa. this is accompanied by stop-animation zombies (why they move in stop motion is a mystery), cheesy music, and about 40 guns that come out of nowhere. Overall, this movie is crap. Just like so many others you can rent for 50 cents at your nearest low brow movie rental place.

Ahhh, this movie is in every way completely ridiculuous. The Actors seemed to have a good time, and so did I. It's very reminiscent of the better low-budget 80's stuff, with cheesy acting, cheesy dialog, and cheesy humor. But I love that kind of stuff. And clocking in at about 1 hour and 12 mins., it's very fast-paced. I noticed that the male characters were incredibly stupid, while most of the females were pretty smart. I thought this was hilarious and made the film kind of a parody of the aforementioned 80's flicks. If you like stuff like "Night of the Demons" or maybe "Return of the Living Dead," "The Convent" is in the same spirit. You get to see lots of goofy stuff, but the monsters are pretty cool, and sort of serious, and it's got a pretty good bloodflow. And Adrienne Barbeau is a blast as the vet demon killer. My only complaint is that the ending seems a bit rushed, and poorly edited. But Mr. Mendez is one to watch.

I saw the trailer to this film and it looked great, so I went out and bought it. What a mistake, the acting is a shambles, the special effects (if you could call them that), look like something that wouldn't be out of place at a school play. Some of the characters are so stupid in this film you will cringe the minute they are on the screen, which unfortunately is all to often. As for a story, forget it. This is a warning, don't waste any money at all on this film it has to be one of the worst things I have ever seen. If, for some reason, you like this film watch Troll 2, you will probably enjoy that as well.

Dilettante low-budget stinker with extremely lame gags and a plot that would even bore people who've never seen a horror film. The gore is cheap-skate, the special-effects are ineffectual, and the cast mugs its way through this as if graduating at the Nick Cage Acting School. No, not so-bad-it's-good, not in the slightest. So-bad-it's-very-bad.

I just saw this film for the first time and I must admit it was rather enjoyable. This movie obviously gives tribute to many films such as "Demons", "Night of the Demons", "Evil Dead", etc. The movie is very fast paced, filled with random gore scenes and a few familiar faces for those of you who know your horror movies. The movie starts off with a young woman walking into a church/convent and slaughtering all the nuns that she sees. 40 years later, a group of what would appear to be stereotypical dumb college frat kids who are out one night looking for a good time. Of course they go to the old convent where the massacre took place 40 years in the past. After most of them are chased away by the police (Coolio and Bill Mossely) the one that stayed behind is sacrificed by a bunch of loser wanna be goth kids. This is where the movie finally picks up as the rest of it is a blood bath mixed with humor and gore. I must say the beginning of the movie was really bad with the stereotypical college kids but if you can hold out for about 15 minutes it really is all worth the while. Now, the version of the movie I just got claims to be the full uncut version which would make sense because most of the reviews I have read say they wish the movie was more gory. This movie was plenty gory, at least enough to keep my slaughter appetite in check. Also look for Adrienne Barbou kicking serious butt in the last 15 minutes of the movie. 7/10 stars.

The Convent is straight up one of the best horrors I've seen this year. It's funny, it's full of gore, it even manages to pull in some genuinely scary segments as well. The movie is best described as Evil Dead crossed with Hell Night. A bunch of high school students hole up in an abandoned convent for a pledge night prank then wind up getting attacked by zombie nuns. Director Mike Mendez obviously watched Sam Raimi's trilogy repeatedly as a kid, as the same mix of hardcore gore, hilarious one liners and gruesome zombies is here in abundance. Not only are the teen actors great and much more resilient and believable than the average 'sorority pledge' types, but the movie is home to genre veterans Adrienne Barbeau and Bill Mosely (You know, the skinny evil guy from House of 1000 Corpses!). You seriously can't lose with this movie. As you can tell, I'm stark raving mad about the Convent, it really is the daddy of the current wave of B Movie horror. It's had a lot of detractors, but how can any sane person not love a movie that throws thousands of guns, comedy Satan worshippers, horny teenagers, zombie nuns, the Antichrist and a very small dog into the mix. Check it out right now damn it.