The Chosen One

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source: The Chosen One

This movie is not worth looking at. Definitely one of the most boring movies I've seen in a long time and also one of the most boring in my life. Always thought Rob was a great actor but this movie sucks balls, and Rob plays as if he knows that. The story is boring and shitty, there is almost no music at all for effects and the acting is just annoying really. The woman irritates me to death and I'm sure I'm not the only one that thinks so. There were only a few moments I could bring up a grin, but nothing more than that. I'm very sorry to say this, Rob, but this movie has absolutely nothing interesting. I'd rather look at attack of the sabretooth, a movie with special effects made with paint;)

Paul (Schneider) has lost his wife, is about to lose his job and tries to do himself in when he is visited by strange people from Colombia, South America who have anointed him as The Chosen One. If One is going direct Oneself in a movie, One's name should be Clint Eastwood. Schneider helped write, produce and direct himself in this barely watchable movie. One rule of radio is needed here: Let not DEAD AIR rule the airways. Here the acting was tentative by Schneider as though he was concentrating too much on watching himself direct and watching himself act all at the same time, and the result was too much hesitation when that wasn't called for. Yes, his character was going through some stuff, but the hesitations were like a football player consistently fumbling the ball. Doesn't look good. This is not the Rob Schneider I thought I would see. He needs to go back to Adam Sandler and beg for a job. This is not a comedy, not a drama and is more of an outline of I don't know what in the sense: "let's see how this might go" , or "let's try this" and staying with those bonehead ideas. I saw where it could have been a comedy, but The questions I had and Paul never asked in the beginning when he was told he was the Chosen One was: Why Me? followed up by: what do I have to do? And what am I supposed to do. Okay, he did ask why me? but didn't ask the other questions. No, we had to suffer through the movie to find out what he had to do to earn the title. Fair enough, but I still would have asked those other questions. Come on, tell me I am the Chosen One and you will hear the questions. Thought so. Am not, right? Thought so. Hmmmm.......... So later he climbs a tall building to put a hawk's nest back. But, when the hawk's nest was first removed, someone from the window above the nest quickly snatched up the nest. Why didn't Paul use that same window to put the nest back? Not much excitement in opening a window and plopping down the nest, is there? If a door or a way was blocked to do that, it should have been shown. It wasn't. He ended up climbing. Of course, we all wondered if he would fall. John Schneider also helped produce this. I thought they may be brothers but cannot find that to be the case. But, that may not be the same John Schneider (Dukes of Hazard, Smallville) I am thinking of. Hey, I just learned there is another Christopher Lloyd (helps write for Modern Family TV show), and not the Back to the Future and Taxi guy. Hard to keep your eye on the ball these days. Reminds me of a story where almost everyone was named James Bond. Yes, they all said, "Bond, James Bond." Violence: No. Sex: No. Nudity: No. Language: Not really, mild stuff and not much of it.

I found the above description on this movie's board on IMDb, and it's better than anything I could come up with. This is relevant because anyone expecting a typical Rob Schneider movie (The Hot Chick, Deuce Bigalow, Big Stan) will be very disappointed, or worse, depressed. Rob Schneider plays Paul, a depressed alcoholic car salesman who tries to kill himself after being dumped by his lady. 3 shamen and a girl from Colombia find him, claiming he's the chosen one who will save their mountain. Paul then faces a series of situations at work and in life which help him make an important decision. I certainly didn't expect a movie like this, as it is very bittersweet, and potentially a career-destroying move. But it has its heart in the right place, it feels honest, and I believe it must be commended for that. Unfortunately, I can't say it's very good movie. "The Chosen One" looks cheap and feels very disjointed, with special effects that look like the ones found in Discovery Channel's documentaries from ten years ago. The pacing is weird, everything seems a little bit "off" and "direct-to-dvd". The few comic moments are mostly black humor, and almost all of them are in Steve Buscemi's scenes. He's a top notch actor, and his superior quality clearly shows here when he elevates the whole movie to a whole new degree. But I did like it, amazingly, and can certainly recommend it to people who need a little more light in their lives. Just don't watch this thinking it's a comedy.

The Chosen One is quite simply terrible. I'd try to dress it up a bit for you, but the bottom line is if you value your time even slightly, then don't watch it. I'm no movie snob, I don't think a movie has to be life changing to be good, but this movie was so bad that it actually made me angry. The script is all over the place, completely disjointed, and when it comes down to brass tacks, quite simply boring. I'm finding it difficult to gather the motivation to explain to you why it's so bad, because its wasted so much of my time already. Suffice to say, one hour into the movie I was begging for something to happen, I forgave it at this point because it didn't bare the formulaic hallmarks of what you'd expect from Schneider. An hour and a half into the movie and I was wishing that it was formulaic...any form would do. It just switches from weak comedy to pointless, tenuous emotional tragedy and neither of these gets enough time to do a complete job. I reckon Schneider was attempting to convince the world and his peers that he was capable of more than cheap laughs, and this was his attempt to showcase his acting ability, and thats exactly how it came across; as a showcase, with no adjoining theme. After watching it, I couldn't sleep because I was worried that other people would have to sit through this utter shambles of a movie if I didn't do something to warn them off, so consider this a free favour. Watch it if you must, but don't say I didn't warn you.

Let me start by saying that I have always been a Rob Schneider fan. The rubber faced act that Jim Carry brought to fame is all the better when its tinged with the smell of true desperation and for me this has always been the appeal of Rob Schneider. Although brilliant, he has in many ways escaped fame and been relagated to the same bunker as legends such as Bruce Campbell, by which I mean that special group of guys who cant help but be funny even when they are trying to be serious. I found myself at several points in this film bursting out laughing at Rob, even though he was just playing things straight. Not because he is a bad actor, far from it, but just because he is one of those guys that radiate humor like stink lines in a cartoon. Quickly though, and despite the largely cheesy and casually racist plot, I found myself drawn into the Schneiders sinceer attempt to act his balls off, and do you know what, I don't think he did a bad job. Everything about this movie should spell a flop, its obvious, stereotypical to the extreme, and more than a little ridiculous but a maturing Schneider some how makes it work and some how manages to extract from my blackening and shrivelled heart a grain of genuine emotion. So, well done Mr Schneider, your foray into drama has been a largely successful one, and it has been nice to see you act for a change. Keep it up.

I liked this movie.. It is simple, sweet and uplifting. It Had some laughs, well acted, and some unique and clever ideas mixed with touching moments. It was an entertaining ride and made for a lovely movie night. Why not enjoy a movie you can rest in for a change. I often get tired of movies that exhaust me emotionally or keep me so gripped in stimulation I need a warm bath afterward to calm down. This movie I just got to laugh a little, feel the human moments of challenge just a bit and wonder what is the road to transcendence, this movie doesn't give an answer to that question but rather hints at an answer metaphorically that is attainable by anyone.

The version I watched was a bit on the low budget end. I heard that it ran out of funding back in 2008, so they must have scrapped it all together and released it this year (2010). That all said, the movie itself is good. It's a dark comedy/drama dealing with a depressed individual (Rob Schneider), who is visited by a Colombian spiritual group who believe him to be the Chosen One who can set the world back into balance. Although it's a comedy, it is not of the normal standard that Rob Schneider usually plays (i.e.; Deuce Bigalow, The Hot Chick, etc.). I think if this movie was properly edited and had a real soundtrack attached, I would rate this movie higher. I say it's worth 6.5/10.

Wow? I just rented this movie from blockbuster on blur-ay. It's not due to release on blu-ray for another 3 weeks, however blockbuster has a special premiere on the movie. This movie has the worst video quality I have ever seen on blu-ray.! I am serious. I love Rob Schneider, but the horrible video quality and bad story made me turn off the movie within 30 minutes of watching it. It's too bad, because Rob Schneider is a great actor. I don't know what happened in this movie; it looks like a 12 year old filmed it. Rob Schneider is awesome in his other movies like the Hot Chick and Big Daddy.