The Brand New Testament

Original, but a pathetic example of more anti-god crap from the anti-god media. "We know what would make creation better". This is the world re-imagined by leftists.

I enjoyed every minute of this movie. I was ready to give it a 10 (which I very rarely give, my avg rating on IMDb is just around 4.0) after about 15 minutes watching, and the movie kept being excellent and hilarious right to the final credits. This movie has enough innovation inside for a dozen of movies. Literally, every minute you would see a joke or a scene which you never saw anywhere before. Like, a holographic half-eaten fish which flies above the head of the boy who started eating it - and this fish wants to go back to the sea where it came from. It goes without saying that this French movie never falls to the level of toilet jokes or anywhere near that, which plagues American movies. There is a lot of witty social satire. As an atheist hating religion I applaud to the bravery of the authors in their portrayal of the "evil" God, and their take on "J.C."'s role (they mean "Jesus Christ" but one of the characters, the "writer of the brand new testament", mistakenly thinks it's Jean-Claude Van Damme; btw I thought it's "J.C. Denton" from the Deus Ex computer game). With all the "idiocracy" going on in the world in the last decade(s) I even wonder how this movie was made at all and how they could secure funding, because it obviously would fail to monetize and could cause a PR nightmare for the authors with all that harsh satire (even outright "blasphemy") they have there. I love French (and Italian) movies, and this movie reinforces my respect of French cinema, and art/culture in general. Btw, the last scene - when the goddess takes control of the world. This seems like a happy ending but notice how she picks the flowered background for the sky from a selection. Not creating the sky, like the previous god did, but simply selecting one of the options. This is exactly how the modern world of Instagram and other similar consumer trash works: simply selecting stuff, never creating or thinking up anything by themselves. I recall an argument with a colleague back in 2010 that Instagram would never pick up because similar photo effects could easily be done in Photophop, Gimp or other editors, and with much more variety, but he argued that the fact that you can apply professionally-looking editing to any photo with 1 click would attract a lot of people because that would make them feel competent, and he turned out to be right. Well, that's just one of the hundreds of things I noticed in the movie. But the movie is full of other stuff, on other topics. Do yourself a favor and watch it.

Le tout nouveau testament (LTNT) is Jaco Van Dormael's first new big film since the brilliant Mr. Nobody. For this he returns to his Belgian roots and makes a film about God, a grumpy, abusive middle-aged guy who lives in Brussels with his daughter and submissive wife. His daughter gets fed up and escapes to the real world. LTNT mixes self-depricating humor with drama in a visually pleasing film. The shots composition sometimes reminded me a bit of Wes Anderson's films (the dead-on shots with the character in the middle). The film is rather uplifting and lighthearted and does try to be entertainment mostly but it's not as deep or dramatic as aforementioned Mr. Nobody. Still a very good watch with great acting that should please almost anybody.

Humor and mockery, there is a fine line between these two and in history of any form of art where humor is an objective for the artist, there has been occasions where the artist failed to make the dichotomy between humor and mockery quite distinct. The line often becomes blurred for many; and therein lie the beauty and novelty of one artist who manages to provide pure humor though the subject of his work appears to take the form mockery. Belgian filmmaker Jaco Van Dormael displays that rare talent of humor in his film The Brand New Testament. The Brand New Testament's begins with the premise that God does exist and he lives in Brussels; with his docile wife, the Goddess, and rebellious daughter, Ea. God is tactless towards his wife and abusive towards his daughter. While he is not being those towards his family, he makes up laws on his computer, laws for worldly human. One example of those laws is 'Your phone will always ring when you are immersed in bathtub.' I think one gets the essence of the film now. So, when Ea reaches a breaking point, after getting beaten by her father, she decides to leave her father's house after consultation with her brother Jesus Christ, who she affectionately calls JC (Yes you are reading it right). JC tells hers to find her own apostles and write a new testament. So, Ea leaves to find her apostles, but not before she gains access to her father's computer and sends everyone in the world, their day of death; and then she locked the computer so her father could not access it again. All this happens at the beginning of the first act. By now, after reading this, one can comprehend the absurdity of the story of the film. But, what one cannot comprehend is how, with each scene, this film takes 'funny' and storytelling to another level. Ea's search of six apostles unravels the unique stories of six persons who are fighting a battle of their own now they know the day of their death. Each story, of each apostle, would resonate with us, beneath the veil of humor. That is the virtue of being a good satire and The Brand New Testament is excellent at it. Van Dormael, who co-wrote the script with Thomas Gunzig, wields a deft direction. The dialogues are witty and hilarious at the same time. There are moments where one would hysterically burst into fits of laughter and there are moments where a melancholic chuckle would appear on one's face. Never for a moment does any oddity or any absurd scene, which you see in the film, would seem out of place or ludicrous. There is a poetic flow in the humor of the film. The entire cast, plays their oddball characters superbly. Each character in this film is unique and forms pieces of the brilliant jigsaw display, that is this film; and all the actors rises to the occasion to portray theirs. Benoit Poelvoorde should be mentioned for wickedly mischievous and despicable portrayal of God. It his performance that makes us loathe his character and thus laugh out loud when he gets in trouble. Pil Groyne, who plays 10 years old Ea, was memorable too; and not to forget David Murgia's charming yet hilarious cameo as Jesus Christ. The film is full of virtues, and among the glittering virtues, cinematography would take an essential spot. The film is beautifully shot. Christophe Beaucarne's camera-work deserves every praise there is not give. Choice of background score and music is also commendable. The Brand New Testament is a film that will be etched in your memory while bringing a smile, whenever you think about it.

The Brand new Testament (Le tout nouveau testament). Making "The Best of Fest" list, this Belgium film (French with English subtitles) breaks all the movie making rules with flying colors! When God's daughter (one rarely hears her side of the story) Ea (Pili Groyne) learns her dad is ruining the world, she speaks with her brother JC (David Murgia) about leaving her weak mom (Yolande Moreau) and running away from home like he did. With instructions on how to use the washing machine to escape, and her need to find six apostles in her travel, she rights her fathers wrongs and heads out on her own. Along her travels she comes across six individuals who know their date of death, each reacting to the news in interesting and unique ways, all the while Ea's ghost writer takes notes for "The Brand New Testament". Not since "The Truman Story" has a director (Jaco Van Dormael) been able to place the actors and audience in such an all inspiring state of misplaced reality. Along with writer Thomas Gunzig, the films intriguing twists and turns keep the audience engaged and smiling, and Catherine Deneuve appearance is a hoot.

i like the first 20 minutes of movie.it's fun to watch the concept of sufferings of human beings and how those are relating to the sadistic tendency of god, also scenes which show people and their death time.but the scenes of Catherine Deneuve and gorilla is utter idiotic.and something at the last which tells on transsexual, gay, casual sex ...stuffs are unnecessary for this movie.the movie clearly supports the viewpoints of liberals and their trash ideas at the end all liberals give a standing ovation.

If director Jaco van Dormael is to be believed, God is not some incorporeal being floating in the clouds, but a sadistic man living in an apartment in Brussels with his weak-willed wife and 10-year-old daughter Ea. Even worse, it's The Old Testament God full of fire and brimstone who spends his days creating new universal laws intended to annoy people. Ea is fed up, releases everyone's dates of death and flees to the real world to find new apostles and write her own brand new testament. Yet the film contains more than just a few laughs and ends up being quite profound in a delightfully non-patronizing way. The film is basically split into several segments, each one devoted to one of the six new apostles Ea finds. Finding them seems to be the story's main drive, but in the end it becomes about each of their stories. They all represent certain recognizable facets of human behavior: there's the businessman who, after discovering when he'll die, realizes he's been living a lie. The film's filled to the brim with visual flair: when Man is created and wandering the Earth, his groin is censored. The man notices this and tries to get rid of this black bar covering his manhood, but to no avail. There's also a beautiful scene involving a severed hand dancing on a table as one of the apostles, a woman with a prosthetic arm watches (trust me, it works). There's great comedy strewn about this film, but some of the funniest bits involve God having trouble getting used to life on Earth. After spending so long creating sadistic rules, it's hilarious to see him get a taste of his own medicine. Funnier still is when he protests, stating that he's God which everyone dismisses as the ranting of a raving lunatic. When he's being manhandled, he hilariously says threatens that he'll give his attackers psoriasis, warts or inflict them with a permanent case of premature ejaculation. Not every skit holds up: the ones involving a guy tempting fate by falling off of great heights to see if he'll survive or a romance involving a gorilla wear out their welcome, but hey, when you've got a beautiful shot of someone literally embracing his own reflection, I can easily forgive. In the end, it's the film's ability to subtly convey its poetic undertones that separate it from the pack.

If you have a taste for strange, different kind of humor, then The Brand New Testament (Le tout nouveau testament) is for you. God lives in Brussels with his wife and 10 years old daughter, in an apartment without windows or doors. He is a bad husband and father, and spend his time having fun with his human and nature creations, creating laws and disasters. One day his daughter has access to his computer... It is a comedy where you have dense characters, and no one laughs, only you. You will find connection between all little elements and actions of the movie, and that is geniously amazing! Just go and see it!

God exists. He lives in Brussels, and he's kind of an a*shole. He spends his days in his office, inventing laws that will spoil people's lives. Until one day, his daughter Ea releases the decease dates to everyone and escapes their flat to join the real world. The first act of this movie shows great premise. Van Dormael's surrealist style gives you the joy to watch giraffes in the streets of Brussels and chickens watching movies. All of it works. Benoit Poelvorde is hilarious as a bitter, mean old man. Then Ea escapes the apartment and everything goes wrong. After releasing the decease dates, Ea is out to write a 'Brand New Testament' and has to find six apostles for some reasons. The story goes nowhere. Ea just picks six random people to be her apostles, and meets each one of them, one after another, telling them the same story about her mean dad and her brand new testament. It gets redundant after three apostles, tiring after four, and insufferable after six. The movie has countless whimsical, beautiful scenes, but they're empty. Each characters feels like an excuse for Van Dormael to shoehorn a couple quotes and more surrealist images. None of those characters feels real for a second. It's slow and dreadfully paced. You just spend the second act begging Benoit Poelvoord to come back until he finally hears your plea shortly before the end of the movie.

Massively underdeveloped. An interesting idea, potentially, but the parts just didn't come together to produce a satisfying whole. Perhaps it simply wasn't absurd enough? (And I found it sad, rather than funny.) Why have the gods of great cinema forsaken us?