The Baytown Outlaws

The Baytown Outlaws-360P

The Baytown Outlaws-360P

"Baytown Outlaws," is about a family of rebellious, violent, mayhem for hire brothers with twisted morals who take on a paid mission to rescue a boy from an equally twisted kingpin played by Billy Bob Thornton. The Good. This is an action packed, pure entertainment movie. It wasn't made for its storyline, plot, or anything else of critical value, but was more of a Tarantino-esque, violence fest. Its got a lot of violence, guns, a bit of sexy appeal that only a gang of murderous biker hookers could provide, and Eva Longoria isn't in enough scenes to ruin the movie as she usually does ( see "A Dark Truth." Well, save yourself and please don't. There is a reason why Longoria has been buried in Soap Operas for so long. She is great eye candy but her acting abilities....yeah, not so much). The Bad. A lot of the script is just plain stupid and bad. The story is lame as well. Let's face the facts though. This movie wasn't made to impress critics or win awards, it was made for action entertainment and in that regard you can ignore most of the script and storyline and just bathe in the action and violence. It was well done in that regard and for those interested in those critically acclaimed areas, don't bother watching it. I give it a 7. I was entertained and that was the whole point of the film. The actors portraying the brothers weren't very good but they didn't have to be, and the contract killing, motorcycle gang of hookers were hot eye candy. So get out the popcorn and watch the action and violence and have fun with it. If your not into that sort of movie than you have no business watching this one.

The Oodie brothers are three redneck hitmen living near Montgomery Alabama. They are in cahoots with the local sheriff (Andre Braugher). When Celeste (Eva Longoria) offers them $25,000 to retrieve her godson (Thomas Brodie-Sangster) from crime boss Carlos (Billy Bob Thornton) they free lance. The boys are Brick, the leader (Clayne Crawford); McQueen, nearly illiterate (Travis Fimmel) and Lincoln aka The Dixie Reaper (Daniel Cudmore). Carlos is the "Wal- Mart of crime." Once the godson is taken, he sends out gangs to retrieve him, including a gang of biker prostitutes. Meanwhile the sheriff is being hounded by a "Yankee ATF" (Paul Wesley) who is putting the pieces together. This is a great shoot 'em grindhouse film. If you are not a grindhouse action fan, then don't bother with this film. This production includes colorful characters, a great soundtrack, and an improbable plot...everything we want in a grindhouse except Danny Trejo. Parental Guide: F-bombs, brief rear nudity, brief sex on a video.

If you are expecting some great action and a plausible story,you have come to the right place... The Oodie brothers didn't exactly get the best start in life,but they sure do try to make up for it. They make their way keeping things nice and tidy in their district and it all goes smoothly until they get in the news for leaving a mess. (I'm trying hard not to give too much away.) They take this job,a private job. The child they go to rescue is special needs,and what really made an impression on me is how lovely they are to him...And that's why I wrote this,cos amidst all the crazy stuff that goes on,and how you might expect these boys to be,they treat the kid really well. I hope you enjoy it and I hope I haven't given too much away.

Once I started watching this for free on Amazon Prime - I would never pay money for this crap - it didn't take me long to surmise that this was a movie made for 16 year old boys. About an hour into it, I realized that this thought was premature and unwarranted. This is a movie made for 12 year old boys! In pondering how a festering turd like this gets made and released, I came up with the following scenario. Imagine that a film school dropout inherits a large sum of money from a recently deceased relative. Then imagine that the dropout says to himself, "I'm gonna make a movie that is a slap in the face to all the people who laughed at me when I said that Boondock Saints and Smokin' Aces were the greatest films of all time." Then imagine that he says, "I'll make it the ultimate white supremacist fantasy movie by having the main characters kill off a Mexican gang, a black gang and a Native American gang all before the credits roll." Here's the problem though. He presents the script to the studio and the executives say, "We're not so sure about the whole love-letter-to-Hitler approach. To avoid insinuations of this, we're thinking you make the kid character a differently-abled person. This way, if someone mentions Hitler, we can hit them back with hey, Hitler would have disposed of someone like this kid! Also, we're thinking that Celeste should be Latina and Millard should be black - two minority characters in sympathetic, albeit criminal roles." And just like that, racist crisis averted. But then the film school drop-out says, "I'll make these alterations on one condition. I get to indulge my fantasies of murdering women by having the protagonists easily dispose of an all female gang." The executives respond with, "Whatever kid! It's your funeral." I know, people! I know! I'm a bleeding-heart liberal with my knickers in a bunch. I will concede that this is not an overtly racist or misogynistic movie, but.... come on! I mean, think about it! By the end of this movie, these three white rednecks have killed Mexicans, African Americans, Native Americans and women and their reward is a snazzy new 4x4. The only reason I give it 2 stars and not 1 is because it is watchable at best. In conclusion, I will say this. You could choose to watch this movie or you could choose to pour Mountain Dew and sunflower seeds into a bucket, dunk your head into it and remain submerged for the duration of Toby Keith's "If I Was Jesus," thus inducing a hillbilly coma. Regardless of which one you choose, you will come out of the experience feeling dizzy and dumb.

I think this movie is just well put together. It's about time that a movie comes out that I can watch more than twice! Billy Bob isn't in this move too much, but It is good that way. He really sets the tone for the storyline. The three brother, couldn't have picked better choice for the actors, (unless of course you had The guy who plays Daryl in the walking dead.) the kid plays an amazing role, great job at keeping his posture throughout the movie. If you love the dirty south, a lot of gun play, blood, and a bit of comedy thrown around than I would have to say that you need to watch this movie. The lowest rating I have gotten from my friends on this movie is an 8 out of 10

This movie is nothing but the poor man's version of what Quentin Tarantino has done for the past 15 years (and I'm not his biggest fan...); Strained, rather than cool, dialogue. Mediocre, standard grainy, cinematography straight from the world of commercials. Idiot rednecks who have stupid discussions about childish topics - and the ever present, odd "intellectual" discussion about trivia children like to discuss. Something we learned to tire of already after the Silver Surfer discussion in 'Crimson Tide' (1995), involving Denzel Washington and Danny Nucci (who?). Andre Braugher and Billy Bob Thornton have never been worse - and I really like these actors, even when they make standard fodder. But this movie is below that. 'The Baytown Outlaws' is pure grade C, a straight-to-video crapfest for horny adolescents - and so is their acting. It's embarrassing to watch - just as all the fake reviews are here on IMDb from the movie productions' publicity team. Some of them were even written a month prior to its release...avoid! Rent or buy 'Bellflower' (2011) instead and watch an inventive film instead of a Tarantino wannabe crap-o-rama!

This is action packed and funny at the same time. The actors are great (Billy Bob having as much fun as he possibly can) and the movie is just great fun. If you'd compare it to a recent movie it'd be "Savages" I guess (though that goes a bit more style and a little bit less fun). On the other hand, it delivers the fun a movie like "Iron Fists" promised but never fully delivered (through the teen fantasy filter this might look a bit different I guess). There is blood and action and the movie also has some nice bit players (be it Michael Rappaport back from the 90s) or Zoe Bell and her Crew (including one very mesmerizing Serinda Swan!). This is so much fun, I gave it an extra point/star for sheer adrenalin rush! The ending could be considered a bit of a downfall, but I wouldn't call it that

If this isn't the worst movie for 2012 then heaven help any movie worst than this one. It simply amazes me why decent actors and actresses take roles in movies like this. Billy Bob Thornton was an Oscar nominated actor not too long ago, Eva Longoria while not a great actress has the long running "Desperate Housewives" to her credit so you wouldn't think it's money that motivates her, but whatever it was that made these folks sign on this this worthless piece of trash, after viewing this total waste of time, I suspect their respective fans bases will be greatly diminished, at least I hope so. Listen, whatever you do, do not buy, download, or watch this movie, Hollywood has to get the message that the viewing public has some sense of what is worthy of our support. This crap they are trying to pass off as a movie or some form of entertainment has to stop. This hunk of junk STINKS....avoid it!!