The Back-up Plan

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I really wanted to like it. I talked to Alex O'Loughlin about the movie over a year ago, I think. And, this was Jennifer Lopez' big return to film, after a 5 year absence. Both of their characters in The Back-Up Plan are very likable. She is a successful businesswoman who has decided she's done waiting for Mr. Right and a family. She goes ahead and gets inseminated. That day, she bumps into Stan, a gorgeous funny guy who has his own farm (note the cheese, above) and dreams of owning a sustainable food shop. He pursues her, she resists. All sorts of clumsy, weird things happen along the way. Honestly, these characters and their relationship is really interesting. It's all the other junk the filmmakers put into play that I found distracting and distasteful and unbelievable. For instance, Zoe has an upscale pet store with a couple of interesting employees who have realistic questions about her and for her, but we barely see them. Instead, we're subjected to a strange single mother's group that is stereotypical and offensive. It's like the writer and director are trying to straddle a line between a sweet rom-com, like Sweet Home Alabama, and something more crude, like Knocked Up. There were so many likable and believable story threads that were just dropped, in favor of the gross out scene or something silly that just didn't make sense for the characters. I didn't hate it, because I liked the leads, I was just really disappointed and not satisfied. I give The Back-Up Plan a 6 out of 10.

Jennifer Lopez as Zoe is a beautiful and talented woman who slummed in this movie. The film had a disconcerting incongruity to it from the beginning to the end. The opening title sequence is an animation reminiscent of a 1960's movie. The cartoon of Lopez sees all kinds of things in New York that reminds her of having a baby. The animation segues to the live action of her being artificially inseminated. We discover later in the movie that she made that choice because she had no family since her mother died when she was a child and her father abandoned her, leaving her grandmother (played by Linda Lavin of the Alice TV series) to raise her. And she did not have much longer to live. Both my wife and I enjoyed the movie in the very beginning, but it quickly became troubling to both of us. Exaggeration is a standard comedic technique for getting a laugh, and this film relies totally on exaggeration. So I don't think they were trying to put down families, but the use of exaggeration makes it come off that way. Every child is shown to be little monsters, which is not at all true. But they are trying to set up reasons for not wanting children. The disturbing message given by this is that families are a bad thing, or, at least incredibly difficult with very little reward. This theme is vocalized by the playground dad (Anthony Anderson) who tells Stan (Alex O'Laughlin) that raising kids is "Awful, awful, awful, awful, then momentarily incredible, followed by awful, awful, awful." Zoe (Lopez) goes to a single mother's support group where later she and Stan witness a live birth in a plastic pool of water. Exaggeration is used for the comedic effect, yet the resulting message is that child birth is a horrible experience that no woman should ever have to go through. This scene was the most repulsive scene in the movie, and the lowest point of the film. Zoe has a pet dog who through inbreeding has a weakness in its hind legs that render them unusable. Consequently the animal is on wheels and the film-makers make fun of the animal as it tips over in one scene and rolls backward trying to climb up a hill in another. I only felt sadness for the creature and considered the humor cruel and pointless. The main plot of the story is that Zoe doesn't think that she will meet Mr. Right so has her children by artificial insemination only to meet him the moment she leaves the fertility clinic. The story is the struggle of her trusting him to accept her and the babies. But from the audience point of view I found the whole scenario to be utterly stupid and unrealistic. When they agree to move in together, they both agree that it was without promise or conditions. She places expectation on him when they are only shacking up together and are not married! Why would any woman go through such angst when no commitment of marriage is given at all! All I could think was that she was a total moron who did not deserve any sympathy. Of course the movie ends with him finally asking her hand in marriage for the "happy ending" but I found the underlying message to be a total lie that one can enter a meaningful marriage relationship by the back door. It encourages gullible youth (especially naive girls) in thinking that they can live together before marriage as a path that will lead to marriage which statistically shows that is false. What grieved me most, though, was not just the movie, but the audience. I was appalled that so many laughed at the jokes without offense. The dumbing down of Americans is so bad that trash like this movie would be entertaining. It was a total waste of my admission price. If you really need to see it, wait until it is on DVD and you only have to pay $1 at Redbox. My recommendation, though, is don't waste your time at all.

I was really looking forward to this movie. My friend, Carlease, is in it and the promos looked funny. I knew I was in trouble, meaning I was NOT going to laugh very much, after the intro scene between the two main characters JLo and Stan. The whole cab thing...excuse me? You have at least 5 other cabs driving around behind them and they couldn't each simply flag another one down? Or at least make a comment about it? I found it rude that she scarfs down all the muffin samples and when the Muffin Lady calls her on her stuff, she DOESN'T even buy one? Just walks away? Rude! He was dressed too tacky on that first date. She drank wine during dinner! Hellloooo! You may be pregnant and you're drinking? And later on in the movie when the pregnant buddies got together to celebrate with champagne? Huh? What kind of writing is this? Bad. Also bad writing was evidenced by the fact that we never know exactly what the relationship is between him and the Muffin Lady till way into the movie. Wouldn't the Jlo character be at least a LITTLE curious as to the status of this woman given her initial reaction? Wouldn't you ask that on a first date? Unbelievable. At her grandma's wedding Jlo's character is constantly using the cell phone. Rude. Also rude was dipping all that bread in Stan's stew and then wiping her face with another piece of bread. That was not cute, only gross. Ewww....he should have taken one look and dropped her like a hot potato. By the end of the movie (which was horribly predictable), I was just sitting there sadly shaking my head. The whole premise was unrealistic that a great looking guy is going to stick around after finding out the woman he's dating is having twins. That aren't his. For what? I say stay away. Sure Lopez looks beautiful, but that's about it. Oh, wait a minute, the birthing scene was rather chuckle-worthy.

...I knew I was in for a long and gruesome two hours. When the doctor uttered, "I'm not looking at your toenails, I'm looking at your cervix," I knew it was all downhill from here. What can I say about this movie? First, let's discuss how unrealistic it is. Sure, movies are not always meant to be based on realism, but... meeting a random guy on the street, having the guy be weirdly fascinated by you after having met for only what, 3 minutes, falling in love with each other, and finally, having the guy so enamored by you that he is willing to be the father to your artificially inseminated children? Just doesn't happen! Lopez and O'Loughlin have zero chemistry. I never once believed that these two people who met on the street were really "falling in love." Their "fights" were hardly believable either and I didn't sympathize with either party. There is also a birthing scene of another woman (not Lopez) to show how Zoe (Lopez) how painful childbirth can be, but this was dragged out for far too long. The joke was decently funny at first, but after several minutes, it's like... alright. We get it. Giving birth hurts. After several minutes, it's just not funny anymore and becomes uncomfortable. Basically, this movie is a load of garbage. I give it two stars instead of one, though, because I would be lying if I said it didn't entertain me. The dialogue at times was so outlandish that I could not help but laugh. And nearly every planned "romantic" moment between Lopez and O'Loughlin made me laugh too. But generally, a few comedic moments and laughable dialogue is not enough of a reason to go see this film. Definitely save your money and stay far far away from this one.