Texas Across the River

Starting out I didn't know what to make of this Western. Joey Bishop as an Indian? It had to be the first time he rolled his eyes that I figured out the writers were playing it strictly for laughs here, with Dean Martin leading the charge in this funny Western parody. The Cheyenne Indian tribe in particular cracked me up every time Yellow Knife (Linden Chiles) referred to his father Iron Jacket (Michael Ansara) as 'Dad'. Nothing is safe from the writers' satirical pen in this flick, even the Cavalry gets a workout with Peter Graves leading his soldiers with that non-sensical call to arms that sounded like 'Ha-Roar - Har!' every time they changed direction. I can only imagine what the outtakes for this picture must have been like. To their credit, Rat-Packers Martin and Bishop managed to keep a straight face pretty much throughout the story, but I bet they had to shoot a fair share of scenes more than once to get beyond the hysterics. Best gag - Sam Hollis (Martin) to Kronk (Bishop) - "Why weren't you born a Comanche?" Kronk - "Mother run too fast!" 'Suna Mah Gun'.

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source: Texas Across the River

I had missed out on this when it was shown as a weekday matinée' on Italian TV ages ago; while not particularly outstanding, it's a thoroughly engaging (and attractively shot, mostly in exteriors) Western spoof with an amiable and willing cast led by Dean Martin (typically relaxed playing a Texan cattleman), Alain Delon (handsome and charming as a Spanish aristocrat), Rosemary Forsyth (her Southern belle is delightful), Tina Marquand (a cute Indian squaw) and Joey Bishop (in the role of Martin's wisecracking "Kronk" sidekick). Though the latter is nominally entrusted with carrying the film's comic relief, the other redskins ("Comanche") actually provide the funniest moments – especially the antics of the chief's inept son (trying at one point to shoot a flaming arrow, he contrives to set his Dad's feathered cap on fire!). Also notable is a scene in which a medicine man alienated in tracking heroes' moves from afar bumps his head against a tree branch, not to mention the amusing charging command of the cavalry unit after Delon – who's accused of murder – which is so muddled that not even all the soldiers themselves are able to comprehend it! The film leads to a pretty good climax – actually redolent of RED RIVER (1948) – as Martin and Delon about to engage one another in duel can't even agree on whether to do it the official way (stand back to back, walk ten paces in opposite directions, then turn and shoot) or Western-style (face each other at opposite ends of the street, walk closer and then draw). However, the girls (Delon had been engaged to marry Forsyth but, in the meantime, she's caught Martin's attention – which he tries to turn to his advantage by keeping his fever going, after being shot with an arrow, for three days straight – while the Spaniard has Marquand, whom he has saved from certain death, gushing over him) have it out between themselves, though it's actually a ruse to put a stop to the intended showdown between their respective men. Delon is subsequently tried and convicted (with judge and defense counsel being the victim's brothers!), but Forsyth contrives to demonstrate how it was all an accident; to cap everything, oil is struck soon after while a grave is being dug for the aristocratic Spaniard! Curiously enough, just as SKIN GAME (1971) – the comic Western I preceded this with – the film features an incongruous but agreeable lounge score (by DeVol). In conclusion, another Dean Martin Western I own but have yet to watch also hinges on a dynamite star combo i.e. FIVE CARD STUD (1968) with Robert Mitchum – as does, for that matter, ROUGH NIGHT IN JERICHO (1967; with George Peppard) which I might also be able to get my hands on in the not-so-distant future (for the record, I'm not familiar with this one either).

When this film was made back in 1966,I don't think there was a "genre"of film parodies,I guess they just called them "comedies".Well welcome to the earliest western comedy I can remember.Even before"Blazzing Saddles"which I consider the gold standard of western comedy.Except for some very poor editing and super imposing,its a well made film.That might be my only complaint.There are many funny Texas jokes and some funny if a little politically incorrect,lines as well. But the real fun is the casting of Dean Martin and Alan Delon,both of whom played serious roles in major westerns.Martin earlier in "Rio Bravo" and Delon later in "Red Sun".You also have to LOVE Peter Graves as Capt. Stimpson in a hint to the comedy yet to come from this fine actor.Even Joey Bishop as a Indian named Kronk is low key funny.Finally Michael Ansara as Iron Jacket,a Comanche chief is funny.The rest of the cast works well also.So if your looking for a good funny western parody and have already seen "Saddles"check it out.It's worth a few laughs. Especially jokes about that"poison black water"

Released in 1966, "Texas Across the River" is a Western parody that takes place in 1845, starting at the Louisiana wedding of debutante Phoebe Ann Naylor (Rosemary Forsyth) to Don Andrea (Alain Delon), a Spanish nobleman. When the wedding is interrupted by Cavalry men (e.g. Stuart Anderson & Peter Graves), Don Andrea flees across the river to Texas, where he hooks up with Sam Hollis (Dean Martin) and his Native pal, Kronk (Joey Bishop), who are delivering weapons to Moccasin Flats. Don Andrea soon saves a Native lass, Lonetta (Tina Aumont), which attracts the attentions of a Comanche war party (Michael Ansara, Linden Chiles, etc.). Meanwhile the cavalry are hot on their trail. You have to be in the right mode to enjoy "Texas Across the River," as it's full of mid-60's goofy humor (think Gilligan's Island or I Dream of Jeanie in the Old West). I personally chuckled from beginning to end and enjoyed it more than "Support Your Local Sheriff" (1969). It's just a fun movie with a great cast and locations, not to be taken seriously. Speaking of which, one notable critic lambasted the movie for having Bishop play Hollis' Indian sidekick. I guess he didn't get the joke: The movie's poking fun at all the Westerns that used obvious white folk to play Natives; it's the same thing with Aumont playing the Indian cutie, who looks anything but Native American. Directed by Michael Gordon, the movie was a fair hit at the box office. It runs 101 minutes and was shot in Alabama Hills, Lone Pine, Universal City & San Diego, California. GRADE: B

I saw this movie as a kid, growing up in Texas. This was a funny movie and my entire family enjoyed it. I didn't appreciate the gist that people who think this movie is funny is somehow dimwitted for thinking so. Having said that, I haven't seen the movie since childhood and don't know if I'd find it as funny as an adult. I'd be anxious to find out should I ever see it again. I remember, to this day, some of the punch lines from the movie. My family and I gathered around to watch and enjoyed it so much. It was like being at the drive-in theater, with popcorn and the works. Dean Martin was simply a funny character as well as the guy playing the Indian. I don't remember his name, but they were great together. Like I said, this is all from childhood memory, so if I see it again, I'll write another commentary if my view has changed.

I generally hate westerns because they bore me to death within seconds. But I started watching this movie with my father, who loves westerns, and I actually never got bored watching it. It kept my interest the whole time and constantly made me laugh. I didn't give it a 10 because of some of the "editing" practices they had so long ago but other than that it's a great movie. I couldn't believe how well the writers were back then. To be able to come up with such comedy so simple and so fluid without having to make it "stupid" funny, like most of the comedies we make now, it's very refreshing and amazing to see. A+ movie.

Hollywood discovered the not so subtle parody western in the mid-60's and produced several that have become true comedy classics; "Support Your Local Sheriff", "Cat Ballou", and "The Brothers O'Toole". Mel Brooks followed a few years later with "Blazing Saddles", the sub-genre's best ever. But for each one that has become a classic there are several best-forgotten releases that just didn't work. "Texas Across the River" (1966) is one of the better of these secondary efforts; not a total loss but far short of being the complete package. I wonder what goes through the mind of a relatively astute 21st century viewer when viewing something like "Texas Across the River" for the first time. My guess is that they would question the basic business sense of Hollywood producers (in not employing better writers) and wonder how anyone could have classified Joey Bishop as a comedian (he actually had his own prime time television comedy series). Dean Martin (with his basic "Matt Helm" personality) and French actor Alain Delon (it was all the rage for Hollywood to import the latest European heartthrob back then for this type of stuff-Delon was one of the few who have some degree of acting ability) are two parts of a love triangle. Rosemary Forsyth plays their romantic interest. She has very good chemistry with Martin and very little chemistry of any kind with Delon. Fortunately someone had the inspiration to import French actress Tina Aumont to play opposite Delon. She plays his secondary love interest, a beautiful Indian maiden, and their English challenged scenes together are far better because of the shared language challenge. "Texas Across the River" originally had a running length of 101 minutes and would have greatly benefited from some serious trimming. The running length was padded by old gags giving Jewish personality traits to the Indians. Unfortunately few (perhaps none) of this stuff is funny. Imagine the least funny10% of "F Troop's" Hekawi stuff endlessly strung together in the same movie. Forsyth is the main reason to watch "Texas Across the River". I for one have fallen in love with her Southern Belle character each time I've watched the movie, and it happened again during my last viewing. Definitely on my top 10 list of most pleasing movie heroines. Then again, what do I know? I'm only a child.

Dean Martin liked making Westerns, and he made some that were quite good -- "Rio Bravo" (of course), "The Sons Of Katie Elder", and "Five Card Stud". And then there were a couple that were ringers, and I always felt this was one of those. So, it was interesting to watch it again after not seeing it for quite a while...and after reading several of the reviews here. I still don't think it's a great film -- and I say that as a huge Dino fan. But looking at it for the spoof that it is, it is quite a funny Western that tackles most of the stereotypical things you see in Westerns. One thing we have to get out of the way from the start is that this film isn't politically correct. It makes a mockery of Indians (who, of course, are played by Whites in makeup). But it also makes fun of Texans, and Europeans, and the "town folk", and the military, and...well, just about anybody in the plot. And I guess that's the strength of the film. I imagine real Native Americans would appreciate that it wasn't Indians playing Indians here! As to plot...well, it's a cute idea, and the film has its moments...but not 101 minutes of memorable moments. Maybe a little stronger editing would have helped. In terms of performances, Dean Martin plays...Dean Martin...which is pretty much always enjoyable. Alain Delon plays the European, and does nicely. Rosemary Forsyth is fine as Dean's love interest. Joey Bishop is rather funny as the deadpan Kronk the Indian. Peter Graves has a thankless job as a military captain. It's always nice to see Michael Ansara as the Indian chief...though he is actually from Syria. Tina Aumont is rather flat as the Indian girl. It's reasonably funny, sometimes actually clever. You just have to watch it in the right context.