Tell Them You Love Me

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As the mother of non-verbal teen with epilepsy, autism and LD I probably approach this from a slightly different perspective than most. There were red flags with all parties. Anna clearly has an obsession with the disabled lived experience; it isn't normal for a child to want to try and experience different disabilities. Her mom struck me as a very odd person. Derrick's mom clearly still views him as a baby. She called him that numerous times. She seemed disgusted by him masturbating and seemed to think he wouldn't know how to do that if it wasn't for what Anna did to him. Learning disability or not any young male discovers that without help. Add in a racist brother and a controversial technique like facilitated communication and you have a perfect storm. I would like to know more about how Derrick managed to write those college papers when his assistant hadn't read the books. It feels like there's more to the story than we are presented with.

Let's start with the obvious : Anna is a rapist. Derrick wasn't reading any books. He never wrote any essay. This was all a creation of Anna and his "assistant " - who I don't believe was credible. The PROFESSOR of the class did not believe Derrick had any understanding or was actually participating at all. The people who were credible: Derrick's brother and the man who PROPERLY evaluated Derrick. His mother is also extremely credible . Yes. She calls him her "baby " He has the cognitive ability of a 1 year old. He is, in a sense , a baby. The fact that Anna had never taken responsibility for her crime of rape is appalling . Her mother is also seriously deranged and unable to hold her daughter accountable. This is BOTCHED AND FAKE "treatment" that has proven to be bogus and they won't admit it. She should have spent EVERY DAY of her original 12 year sentence in prison.

This documentary really threw me for a loop. I went into it expecting a classic cut-and-dry true crime doc, but it ended up leaving me with an empty feeling in my throat. This, because either way the cookie crumbles, someone is suffering. It began with a great story of a man and a woman working on the man's ability to communicate, and overturned into something completely different. I really loved the way this was filmed, and how it really gives you, the viewer, a chance to see where you fall in the (unfortunate) black and white world of disability. I hope it generates more awareness of the polarizing effect so many people with disabilities face.

This story is as sad as it gets. Anna has this weird obsession with the disabled. My honest opinion is that Anna and her mother are delusional. Anna stated that Derrick was the most important person in her life, were you small kids not the most important? Throughout the entire documentary, I never once heard Anna acknowledge her kids until the sentencing, when she pleaded with the judge to, "let me take care of my daughter." Anna became obsessed with a disabled man, who can't communicate, cant do anything for himself. Derrick wears diapers, he can't walk on his own. Yet she wanted to divorce her husband and marry Derrick. I think Derrick was an escape from a marriage She wasn't happy. It's like she felt like she was his savior. She inserted herself in his life. She really lost touch with reality and I believe that in her mind she really felt that she did nothing wrong, even though, she took advantage of someone who couldn't protect himself. She betrayed his family, who trusted her with their loved one. This is revolting. Why did Derrick not respond with his brother or mom with the machine, but supposedly he responded with Anna? From Derricks brother describing the scares on his back from Anna dragging him to have sex, to Derrick now masturbating, its insanity.

I am both shocked and appalled at some of comments. I understand that realistically we want to believe when our loved ones are a prisoner in their own bodies that they are able to communicate in different ways but are we really going to overlook the study that proved most of the test subjects were not accurate on what the aide and student were visually viewing and concluded that only the aides view was being entered. And you all claim nothing is about race but if the races were reversed none of you would be happy to with this happening. Otherwise the documentary was insightful and informative.

I just watched the "Tell them you love me" documentary on Netflix and I have a controversial opinion. I may be biased due to the fact that I have the same disability as Derrick, in a much milder form and I am able to verbalize and communicate. I believe Anna Stubberfield was professionally and morally wrong, however not legally. Professionally wrong due to the fact that she crossed a " code of conduct "boundary between client/instructor. Morally wrong because she cheated on her husband, but because Derrick had the intellectual capacity to complete college level assignments with the assistance of a student aide, and she claimed she did not read the material or complete the work for him; that shows that he did have the intellectual capacity to consent, he just couldn't verbalize it. I believe Derrick was his mother/brother's "Entire World "and they couldn't fathom that because he couldn't speak he would possibly have any chance at a normal life, I believe they were more than likely receiving government assistance for him and didn't want to relinquish it. They also should have had someone with a disability on the jury. Lastly, the psychological assessment was done unfairly, his communication device should have been admissible in court because that is what he was educated with to communicate . If he had been unable to communicate on that device before the jury , then that would have proved her wrongdoing, but the device was considered inadmissible.