Swearnet

source: Swearnet: The Movie

I tried to like this movie. I watched it twice. Once shortly after it came out, then again last night. I almost didn't remember any of the movie. Why? Because I apparently wanted to forget it. Rated NC-17 because of it's disgusting crude humor. It's just not funny. This movie has the most male full front nudity and dick jokes I have ever seen. And well, it's just not funny. It's simply nasty. However, that's not the most disgusting humor in the film. I gotta admit I couldn't handle the ants on Pat's stomach. It's was just too much. This movie isn't funny. If you are going to make a movie rated NC-17 why not try to put some actual adult humor in there? Instead this movie seems more of a 13 year old boys story. A shame really, the potential is there. This movie doesn't make me want to subscribe to Swearnet at all. Funny thing is, I swear all the time, but for some reason this movie makes me want to stop swearing. It simply doesn't seem cool at all anymore to me after watching this film. Best part of the film is in the credits. Don't waste your time unless you like dicks and raunchy humor. Watch ANYTHING Trailer Park Boys instead.

I used to be a big trailer park boys fan but then this came out! If you watch it backwards it's Mike (Smith) , Rob and John's careers. It's pretty sad they had to buy the rights to trailer park boys to stay famous. Mike Clattenburg doesn't get the credit he deserves as the show and any spin off they can get for the mouth breathers to watch has become embarrassing where if I was Mike Clattenburg I'd be insulted.

Started off interestingly, I must admit. Devolved into a waste of film after about forty minutes. I race cars (amateur) and there is some promised auto racing here, which I thought was going to be great, but it just went all pear-shaped, and very quickly. If I never see Tom Green (whom I liked once upon a time) or "Carrot Top" (who is repulsive in every sense of the word) again, I'll be happy. Also, If you love extreme closeups of fat male genitals by all means this is the film for you. (Some other reviews allude to excess nudity, but sadly it's all male, and all fat, ugly body parts). When there's a chance for some "tasteful" babe nakedness, they quickly put a towel around themselves as if they're making a PG-rated flick. As other reviewers here have said, this poor excuse for a movie seems to have been written by a pubescent boy who's just discovered lewdness, and likes it far too much.

This film is said here to be rated NC-17 and it certainly deserves it. Apart from the fact that there's nudity, it has more uses of the f-word than any other film in history. Well, in the English language at least. It took me a long time to count every one of them. I counted 911, but there were said to be as many as 935. It is rather satisfying to see Carrot Top and Tom Green get beat up. So besides that, there's not much else to say about this movie. It certainly has its funny moments, but is more or less not very interesting in itself. I couldn't get a feel for these characters or anything. It just seemed to be an excuse to be the most profane movie in history. Obviously, this isn't for people who are easily offended in really any way. The main plot involves a race of some kind, but it's hard to really care. **

Ok yes I do sometimes say the "F Word" when I get upset or angry. But REALLY OF COURSE THE IDIOTS THAT CAN'T ACT. Make a Film about the F Word really. Come on HOW DO YOU MEN GET AWAY WITH SUCH IDIOT FILM'S. Even the Women in this Film are looking very Bad. So BAD that they are NOT EVEN PRETTY. KIND OF TRASHY. This is Probably one of the MOST STUPIDITY, IDIOT FILM'S ON THE PLANET EARTH.

*** May Contain Spoilers This movie is def not for minors, and you have to take it for what it is. When I can laugh by myself its a different type of comedy. Rob, Mike, John, and Patrick show us a different side of their Trailer Park Boy alter egos and made for a great 100 minutes of comedy. Seeing Mike Smith playing himself was fantastic, I always wondered what kind of person was under those goofy goggles and he gave us a chance to see that. I loved how Mike, and Rob played polar opposites of themselves but Patrick and John basically played there Trailer Park Boy personalities, but in a more realistic scenario. The scene where the boys trip acid literally had me in tears. This film proved that the fantastic minds that brought us Trailer Park Boys will not be one hit wonders, as long as they stick to their genre of comedy. The only reason I am giving this 8/10 instead of 10/10 is because Tom Green and Carrot Top are terrible. I understand the casting budget was low, but I really hope I never see them on the screen again in my life. Their acting for forced laughs was unbearable. I'd much rather see Leigh Macinnis (Don) in more films, then have to put up with them again. John, Mike, and Rob keep up the good work, i'm looking forward to seeing what else you guys come up with!

Swearnet: The Movie (2014): Dir: Warren P. Sonoda / Cast: Rob Wells, John Paul Tremblay, Mike Smith, Pat Roach, Sarah Jurgens: From the creators of The Trailer Park Boys comes a followup that regards one's response to censorship. Rob Wells, John Paul Tremblay and Mike Smith play themselves struggling with possible life after Trailer Park Boys. Mike Smith conjures the idea of an Internet show called Swearnet where our boys say pretty much anything they desire. This catches on and soon they are raking in cash from those subscribing to their rants. Subplots includes Wells in a relationship with a woman who apparently gave Sebastian Bach of Skid Row a *. She places his belongings in the front yard when she learns of her reputation on Swearnet. Tremblay is a nascar racer whose father's ashes are stored in a doll. His lover is a female Russian body builder. Mike Smith is so not like Bubbles here. Very profane in his vocabulary and his combination of vulgar words. He is the originator of Swearnet but lands in trouble when some underground sponsors come to collect. Pat Roach is done up as mascot Swear Man and his scenes are perhaps the grossest, particularly when his genitals end up on live television during a hockey game. Sarah Jurgens plays Rob's sleazy clingy girlfriend whom Smith takes a very verbal disliking to. This is a film that contains something to offend everyone yet its attack on censorship and free speech is one for which many will agree upon. Amusing ending with a negotiation that is pretty much the funniest scene in the film, and that is something one can swear by. Score: 9 / 10

If you watch this movie backwards it's the way the careers of our three "heroes" really is. The longer john, mike and rob make stuff the worst it gets and not in a good way like say the room by Tommy Wiseau is bad but in an entertaining way. I was a fan of the trailer park boys so I get their humor and all, it's the only reason I gave this "movie" a shot. Based on my review you can tell it was out of boredom too as this movie came out like last year or so. I'm OK with actors trying other things, they don't have to stick being Ricky, Bubbles and Julian for me to flap my arms like a seal and make noises. The cursing in this movie didn't bother me but everything went down hill since the 6th or 7th season. For example where is Lucy's baby from when Randy got her pregnant which that scene caused me to give up this show for years. When this show was funny they weren't trying to be. when "drunk and on drugs happy fun time hour" came out it was a dead giveaway that these guys lost it. Maybe it was Mike Clattenburg keeping the show funny but now since these three guys are running it, it's really gone down hill like their egos think anything they release will be gold and they need to be back down to earth and stop asking their drinking buddies what they think. The time they spent away from the trailer park concept though which was easily 6 years they could have paid writers to help them out how cheap are these 3 guys. I know they bought the rights to their stupidity and that wasn't cheap but still.. if you think about it John , Robb and Mike (Smith) paid Mike Clattenburg to stay employed buying the rights to their crap. They didn't create it, maybe they helped write it a bit but if it wasn't for them they would not be where they are. I suppose they also did it to shut all their remaining fans up. If that was the case I'd hide in libraries and places where they use more than 2 sylable words. So thinking of things in that perspective If that isn't sad or depressing to look at for them I don't know what is. Again Hollywood isn't knocking on their doors or they are winning awards for a reason. Is it strange that I feel sorry for them? OK so anyways what's wrong with this movie? even with "Swearnet" they are still using netflix to broadcast their atrocities so even without watching this movie it could be fantasy or not but it's a really stupid concept. I haven't been on their site in a good while but I can imagine not much has changed it feels like one of Ricky's dumb ideas that get him thrown in jail. In the end I didn't want to see "Randy's" *, I had a hard enough watching him in the first few episodes of the 2015 season. No matter how much they swear in the movie won't make it any better if the story is garbage. In My final thoughts there is a reason these three guys haven't been approached by any serious Hollywood movies or television series. No matter how many crappy shows they try to make or movies where they are trying way too hard to be funny. The only bragging rights this piece of trash which is going right in my computers recycle bin after I write this is that it has the current world record for cursing. I'm going to put some music on and watch this movie backwards and laugh because I know that is how their careers are really like.

I just watched this on netflix last night. I was interested to see if the boys were anything more than just the one hit wonders of "the trailer park boys". Going by Swearnet, the answer is no. It was terrible. One clue was that the only famous people they could get to do guest spots in the movie were Tom Green - a washed up has been, and Carrot Top, a washed up never was. The only aspect of this movie that is funny is the fantasy images of themselves they created. Hot dumb blonde girlfriends, big houses filled with video games, pinball machines and weight sets. This is what you would expect from a dim 13 year old boy, and this movie would probably appeal to a dim 13 year old boy. But if you expect more than swearing and fart jokes you will probably not be able to sit through the whole movie.