Splatter University

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source: Splatter University

With its outrageous students (one of whom howls like a wolf at anything with a pulse), '80s slasher Splatter University can be remarkably silly at times, but isn't amusing enough to qualify as a parody or black comedy; it's also a fairly bloody flick, but nowhere near scary enough to pass as a proper slasher. Exactly who would find the film satisfying is anyone's guess. Forbes Riley plays recently qualified teacher Julie Parker, whose new job at St. Trinian's school gets off to a bad start when one of her students is murdered. After further students and members of staff turn up dead, Julie decides to quit, but will the killer let her leave? Not on your nelly! In it's one moment of originality, the film does the unthinkable and actually kills off the final girl, which almost makes up for the sheer predictability of the psycho's identity. If you fail to guess who is responsible, you clearly haven't seen enough horror films. It's an absolute stinker, but I'll be kind and give Splatter University a rather generous 3/10 for the bloody knifings, the slit throat, the disembowelled corpse, Julie's surprisingly nasty death, and that Ginger girl's amazingly bad hairstyle.

I will watch just about any horror movie from the 70s or 80s. They don't make em like they used to. In my humble opinion the 80s was the best time period for horror movies because even the BAD ones were pretty "watchable" and on some level "enjoyable". If you like so-bad-its-good movies and black comedies then I can recommend SPLATTER UNIVERSITY.I watched it last night (dead sober) and laughed my ass off. As a Horror movie? Not so hot. As a COMEDY? Very fun! Plot: An escaped mental patient has taken up at a college and is offing the wanton women on campus. Okay, so its not an original horror concept. Not trying to reinvent the wheel here! If it ain't broken, don't fix it. The thing that separates this movie from its ilk is that pretty much ALL the characters but one or two are scum and you'll probably wanna see them die. In fact, you'll be sad most of the OVERLY obnoxious characters get to live! Some of the things that make this movie funny (for me , at least) are * Its so cheesy: including cheesy music, and cheesy fashion and wayyy cheesy Bad 80s Hair(check out the redheaded metal chick with the Bad 80s Perm that makes her look like she has three hairdos on one head) * Bawdy horny teens who drink beer with the six pack ring still attached to it dangling other full cans of beer . They also talk about wanting to bang other members of the opposite sex RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR BOYFRIENDS/GIRLFRIENDS! One guy howls like a wolf and thrusts his hips at just about every girl in the school -he even starts joking around with the GUYS when the girls aren't around! * The cartoon FLINTSTONES sound effect that cars make when they pull out in a hurry * The two chicks who walk around the campus (always in the same clothes) who are dead ringers for Cherie Currie and Joan Jett from THE RUNWAYS (REALLY. They deserve their own spin-off movie!) * Characters from a tight group of friends DYING and nobody, not even their friends or boyfriends, noticing! * The scene involving a dead body, a dumpster and a six pack of ginger ale. * Red Herring Killers aplenty * Priests who are getting more action then all the students! * Someone dies on the crapper. After writing bathroom graffiti. WHILE TAKING A DUMP. * A quirky landlady who tells you about the people who were murdered in your apartment five minutes after you move in. She also wonders WHY you wanna move when half the people at the university you work at have been iced. * The reactions people make when they find dead bodies * A disco-licious dance party scene with close ups of girls jean-covered butts and sweater-covered tops (Sorry, Fellas, if you want T & A you better rent PIECES) * A GREAT Crotch Kicking scene (towards the end)* The last person you expect to die ...DIES! * A funny closing scene and a hilarious final line. So what are you waiting for?! Get a case of beer and some rowdy friends and rent this puppy tonight! Guy 1: My girlfriend wont go to that Drive-In ( someone got murdered in last night) anymore. Guy 2 : Are you gonna find another Drive-In? Guy 1: No. Another GIRLFRIEND. I like the movies they play!

Nasty knife violence isn't enough to save this slasher mess. If you are a die hard slasher fan like me, you can't help but be seduced by a title like "Splatter University". Oh but what a total mess this is. Years ago I watched it with low, very low expectations but I didn't expect to be THAT bad. The plot is very well known and common for a slasher flick but a little more coherence and less useless conversations could've helped for the movie's pace. The editing is what ruins this movie completely because there's absolutely no sense in some important scenes. And the ending is a tear! Plot twists are not always effective people. The positive thing about this crapfest is the cheesy but nasty gore. Some might find this movie to be misogynistic but I guess most of the death scenes were justified, if you try to be objective about the ending. Watch "Splatter University" if you are hungry for slasher flicks. I believe I watched the cut version on late USA Network programming many years ago.

Splatter University is just another attempt to cash in on the 80's slasher hysteria. The acting was bad but the script definitely had potential. There were some pretty creative deaths but they were all ruined by the horribly slow pace and unneeded dialogue. For some reason the director felt like following around a bunch of crumby actors who the audience expected were there just to die and then suddenly stopped incorporating them into the film? Why was that? Were they just trying to throw us off or waste our time? I can't say "Splatter University" was complete trash, I can say that the script and twists could have worked with a better director, bigger budget, and more experienced production team. Go ahead and see this movie, but don't expect anything better than "okay" or worse...

Back in the days before the Toxic Avenger, the low-camp kings at Troma Films tried to take the high (OK, somewhat-less-low) road of producing straight slasher pics. I'd like to think that viewing the results here is what convinced them to give up all pretension and go for self-conscious parody. Splatter University is another film for the masochists in the audience. As it meanders about through two separate casts and innumerable pointless subplots, it actually becomes painful to watch. Let's see if I can summarize. After learning that a dangerous psychopath has escaped from a local hospital, the action moves to a Catholic university (I don't recall the name, but in honor of the title, let's call it St. Splatter). The students are listless and sullen, and argue pettily with each other, slackers ahead of their time. Meanwhile, the new professor, Julie Parker, proves utterly incompetent at her job. The kids deal with relationships, infidelity, unwanted pregnancies, lecherous priests, and how to avoid doing any work in class; Julie deals with a creepy boyfriend, the inflexible administration at St. Splatter, counseling unwed mothers, and the blank, expressionless looks of her students. None of it means a darn thing or gets resolved in any meaningful way. Oh, and every once in a while, a POV shot comes along and stabs one of the girls to death, but don't hold your breath waiting for it. There's a Red Herring Killer, and then a sadly anticlimactic confrontation with the Real Killer, then it's back to the asylum and roll credits. The slow pace and numerous inane subplots seem almost calculated to produce a mounting sense of frustration in the viewer, which is helped along by choppy editing, coffee-can sound quality, and dialog that just doesn't make any sense. And the most agonizing thing about this movie is the killer's fixation on women - the men in this movie are just so deserving. I'd've paid good money to see someone off the jerk with the pregnant girlfriend, or the lunkhead Lothario who was fooling around with his girlfriend's roommate, or any of the creepy priests. There ain't no justice.

This movie is great. If you enjoy watching B-class movies, that is. This is a classic college 80's slasher movie, in which one song is played throughout the entire soundtrack. A horrible film, but worth renting to make fun of, or just to watch old men pop out of closets with knives. Kinda funny, if you ask me.

I knew this was going to be a good one (and by that, I mean a worthless piece of trash) when the film began with not one, but TWO, flashback sequences of meaningless characters being murdered. Indeed, the entirety of SPLATTER UNIVERSITY is a strangely paced, horribly edited and utterly stupid slab of slasher garbage that should be featured in your next bad movie night. Directed by Richard W. Haines, most famous for his co-directing post on CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH (and his demotion to second-unit director of the film after only a week), SPLATTER UNIVERSITY tells the tale of random college students who are introduced and immediately murdered. Meanwhile, a new teacher tries to solve the mystery of who's spilling all this university blood. The VHS cover's cheerleader mysteriously never shows up to class. The film features many wacky college-kid antics (which are damn near impossible to hear because of sound issues), murders (which are almost all uninspired stabbings), and a mystery that is face-palmingly obvious from very early on. Still, the film never takes itself that seriously and there are quite a few intentional and unintentional laughs to be had. As long as you find rampant misogyny and bloody killings funny (and who doesn't!). It's only 78 minutes long, and I can safely say I enjoyed most of them. I'm a little surprised at the largely negative reviews here which don't mention how dang fun the whole thing is. Great to pair with FINAL EXAM or THE DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD for a trashy double feature of dead collegians.

I am an avid B-Rate horror film buff and have viewed my fair share of slasher pictures, so I have a substantial gauge to judge this film by. It easily ranks in the upper echelon of the worst horror films the 1980's has to offer. It isn't as scary as Night of the Demons, it isn't as gory as Re-Animator and lacks the camp value of There's Nothing Out There. That being said, this film has no value. Keep in mind, the movie artwork is for a completely different film. The stills shots on the back of the DVD box aren't taken from this film. VIOLENCE: $$$ (There is plenty of violence but we've seen it all before. A murderer kills nubile students and the occasional facility member by slitting throats and all the other tired methods of murder that horror films utilize). NUDITY: None STORY: $$ (The story focuses on Francine Forbes - who wisely changed her name to Forbes Riley after this film was made - who accepts a job teaching at a university. People start to die and Forbes believes the killer is targeting her. Is it her new heartthrob with a checkered past or the libido-crazed student? To be honest, it is impossible to care because the script doesn't flesh out any character outside Forbes). ACTING: $ (Terrible on all levels. This slasher has the feel of a school production -high school that is because college students could make a better flick than this. Forbes showcases a modicum of talent as does Seminara as one of the students, but everyone else is of the "extras" caliber of acting).