Siberia

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source: Siberia

This ranks up there with one of the worst movies ever. The storyline is so vague you never have a clue what is going on. The movie is supposedly about a diamond dealer, but there is no back story. He then gets involved with a Russian woman, but even that relationship is burdened by the lack of a story line. In the end he makes a horrible diamond deal and tries to fight off the Russian mob with a bolt action hunting rifle? Just makes no sense. How any group of people watched this and thought it was good enough to bring to market I will never know.

Siberia is a benign romantic action thriller with routine action and not much romance, which is pretty much what you can usually expect from anything with Keanu Reeves, a cast of Russians, and a walk-on by Molly Ringwald. Even in a summer of forgettable losers, this one disappears without a trace. No alleged action thriller about international intrigue that stars Keanu Reeves is likely to land on anybody's A list, but Siberia doesn't even try. This time the poker-faced stoic plays an adventurer named Lucas Hill who travels to St. Petersburg (Russia, you know) to sell a cache of blue diamonds from South Africa worth 50 million dollars to the Russian mob. When he gets there, the man who is delivering the gems has disappeared, so he moves on to the snowy wastes of a mining town in Siberia to find him. Instead of action, he hooks up with a waitress in an all-night diner, gets beaten up by local toughs, and rescued by the girl. They have sex with their clothes on, he wakes up the next morning and makes French toast, and just sort of hangs around. The audience hangs around too, waiting for something to happen. Threatened with mutilation and death by both the mob and the girl's violent brothers, his brows furrow. So much for acting. Instead, the girl's brothers take him on a bear hunt. Everything is tenuous, including a performance by Keanu Reeves that borders on catatonia. Just because he stopped shaving doesn't mean he can suddenly act. After he finally removes his Calvins, Siberia has more sex scenes than any previous Keanu Reeves movie, but the girl (Romanian actress Ana Ularu) is the only one who shows any flesh. Molly Ringwald plays his wife back home in the U.S., shown in only two brief scenes via Skype and long distance cell phone. Despite his limitations, Keanu's love scenes with Ms. Ularu are the rare stretches when the film threatens to come alive. Siberia looks properly deadly (no vacation destination or travel brochures here) but the film was shot in Canada. The romance grows cold while the plot grows incoherent, but nothing works out satisfactorily, including the finale, which looks like it was pasted on in post-editing with a Post-It. Formless and meandering, Siberia is a film without much purpose or promise. The direction, by Matthew Ross, looks phoned in from a toll booth in the Ukraine. The screenplay, by Scott B. Smith, who wrote the vastly superior A Simple Plan, is incomprehensible and abbreviated. One saving grace: a lively performance by a Russian gangster named Boris (aren't they all?), played with grinning relish by Pasha D. Lychnikoff, who has put in some memorable time as assorted rapists, smugglers and white slave traders on TV shows like Law and Order SVU. Needless to say, things end badly for all concerned in Siberia.

I was really looking forward to watching this movie, but I kept waiting for it to get going. There wasn't much of a story, it was very basic, and virtually no action which is something i expected. I know actors sometimes appear in movies for friends, and I just wonder if this was the case for this one. This is my first review. I had to get off my backside and make a review because I usually read and get really annoyed when all the 10/10 appear on a movie that clearly isn't. I will be reviewing more.

I am a keanu fan, but this movie was terrible. Very dull pace with dry acting and moments of possible excitement that end in disappointment. I kept thinking there would be a twist or some big change that would wrap the boring plot together, but it never comes and then you realize that you just wasted an additional 45 minutes for nothing. It also feels low budget in that the supposed Siberia looks more like winter in Kansas.

Keanu Reeves is one of my fav actors, he's very talented and a very simple person, not likeall the glam-stars at Hollywood. But regarding this picture, a total waste of time, money, cast - everything. 1star and this for the actors and the crew that endured the cold weather out there. Otherwise, crappy movie! Avoid it!

Movie "Siberia" It is a terrible betrayal of people trust as a viewers. Miserable bad people of course, bad pervert sex scenes you want to cry, people without dignity and courage, stupid and drunk. It told everything about people who write it and nothing about Siberia. Hollywood lately thinks it can feed audience with anything and people gonna eat it with a spoon. I am from Siberia, born and raised. There are TVs in Siberia and we can watch it and expose it for what it is. It's about portraying people disgracefully. The writer himself, his is from New Jersey, so he should called that movie " New Jersey, Summit" he obviously wrote a story about his life, nobody would have any questions then. I didn't feel for any of the characters. Main character played by Keanu Reaves is a coward and doesn't have a spirit, a girl in a movie came off as silly and rude, with no self respect. Other characters, i din't know what are they talking about, they thought they speak Russian. Scene where so called "mafia guy" wants to be a "blood brothers" in reality, simply means that both man should cut their hand palms with a knife, mixture blood during the handshake, this is how you become a blood brothers. Here was portrayed as pervert sexual act instead. From what dark imagination it come from???? Why it always need to be something pervert to bring people attention. What does it say about scenarist and script people. Scott B Smith, the writer should be tested by a mental health doctor before he express his demons into public. Language used in the movie is not Russian, it's painful to watch, faces , mannerism, clothes? I felt awkwardness for all the characters in the movie. Brainless dialogues, I don't know what nationalities people are in the movie. Funny thing, location itself: Mirniy town, where the most of the movie takes place is not in Siberia. It's Republic of Yakutia. DIFFERENT GEOGRAPHY PLACE. What it has to do with Siberia what so ever? Maybe the stereotypes of drunk, dirty people, that promoted in this movie. Of course, what else well paid movie producers know about other country, just that. It was good decoration and photo montage though. But it was spoiled when camera captured big faces saying stupid things in a close short. I didn't continue to watch it. Writers who made this movie, don't know nothing about this place. What it shows, their personal miserable stereotypes, maybe their own psychological problems, nothing else. Siberia is big a place with great nature, kind people with a good sense of humour and mostly well educated. There are of course exception like in the rest of the world. They should have chosen a different name for the movie. I understand people want to make money with fast production and want to bring attention with mysterious names. Guys, just don't follow for that. It is a low vibration movie that will give you bad emotions, if you are healthy person. It could have been a story with inspiring figures, such a waste.