Shatter Dead

source: Shatter Dead

Moviecut—Shatter Dead

Shatter Dead is special to me in that I was also credited as Spiritual Advisor for the cast and crew. I should also like to point out that I in fact discovered the great actress Stark Raven in 1989, when she starred in my theatrical production "Thoaague." Her contributions to this play were unique and she added a level of intensity to her performance that has yet to be equaled in anything else. Unfortunately, video copies of the production are not presently available for public consumption...yet they do exist.

What happens when the Angel of Death impregnates a mortal woman? Well, I guess the dead walk the earth and the dead hate the living. Because "death" ceases to exist and the dead want their old lives back. The concept is rather interesting, and a different spin on the dead versus living horror movie. These dead aren't zombies so much as regular people who have died and whose blood pools when they sit down. The angel impregnating the woman is also nice, but they don't really go into that much so you just have to make up your own story. Now that I said nice things, let's say some mean things. The acting is weak. Only the preacher seems to have any motivation, and the main character (Susan) walks through the film more dead than the actual dead. And did I mention all this was filmed on a home video camera, so the sound is poor and the video is cruddy? The nudity is non-stop. One character takes a shower, another joins them. There is a sex scene with male and female nudity. There is another sex scene with female nudity. Every five minutes someone is fully naked, which is not only pointless... but these aren't the most impressive bodies you're ever going to see. There is no reason to rent this film... unless you're a film maker and want to try this one all over again with a real camera. But if you're Uwe Boll, stay away from this. You're the one person who could make it worse.

You know, you can spout the mysteries of the universe for all to hear, but if you're the retarded crackhead on the bus, is anyone going to listen to you? Well, maybe, if your name is "Shatter Dead." I think people want there to be a "deep" horror movie so bad, that they're willing to find it in this piece of garbage. Now, understand, it's not the shot-on-video look or the low budget, for I am accustomed to these things and even appreciate them. This is just a bad movie. Bad acting (especially by Stark Raven, good lord), bad directing, bad everything. But there is an arthouse crowd even for zombie movies, and they make believe there's a hoity-toity hidden (or apparent) meaning in this kind of stuff. I just saw a long-haired guy masturbating while spying through a keyhole. I think that's the boldest statement this movie makes. Really makes you think, doesn't it? (Actually, it does make me think, and that's sad) The presence of God, the existence of our souls...if this movie is asking questions (or giving answers) about these things, then it's doing it in the wrong way. And even if it is, so what? It's still a lame movie that plods along like turds falling out of a horse's butt, devoid of entertainment and visually unappealing. Seriously, folks, pull the stick out of your posterior and watch a movie that really says something.

This movie wouldn't be as bad if it just had a half way decent leading actress in it. All through this movie I had to look a pathetic looking vagabond wandering around zombie town searching for a place that had non-dead existing humans left. I still couldn't understand why two half way good looking guys even considered this woman good looking. Anyway....This story starts off as Susan finishes her grocery shopping and is soon attacked by a group of zombies with the most unconvincing makeup that wouldn't even be fit for trick or treating on Halloween. This makeup looks as if it were bought at your local Dollar Store and slapped on a few innocent cheap paying bystanders. And then there is the Preacher who for what reason I don't know is in this movie steals Susans car and leaves her alone to fend for herself. She then shacks up at a local house where there are more ugly people like her living there and the house is soon invaded by a man dressed as Howard Sterns character Fart Man (they couldn't have that much originality so they they had to borrow from none other than Howerd Stern) who then shoots up the place and all the zombies are dead. I did think that the baby incident was a little gross but laughable as I watched a plastic doll being breast fed in a bloody bathtub. I do not recommend this film at all to anyone unless you cannot afford a doctor to cure you of your insomnia or that you have the need to loose weight by laughing so much.

'Rage...building. Contempt...growing. 'Hatred...inevitable.' This 'film' is a crime against humanity. I watched in horror as the movie progressed from one clip to the next. When it was silent, I begged for dialog. When there was dialog, I plead for silence. ****SPOILER**** Apparently, the dead have risen, but all they really want is a good job and benefits. The hero tries to stay away from some rather lame bad guy, and ends up becoming one of the undead. Sound generic? It was...except for the almost pornographic pistol sex. Plot? Story? Character? PHAW! Who needs 'em? Please, God, let this be the last time any living creature has to view this fetid pile of monkey droppings. Never, ever watch this movie. Never. Never...never.

Ugly. Ugly would be the single word to describe this 'home movie'. Ugly writing, ugly direction, ugly lighting, ugly sets, ugly acting and ugly actors, sheesh! I don't have many qualms about nudity in films...but I've never witnessed that much unwanted nudity in my life. The make-up falls in to the 'Dime Store' variety; I've seen children with better make-up jobs on Halloween. In the 'Special Features', the director talks about going to film school (and he has the nerve to bash actual film makers and other film schools). Anyway, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he went to film school AFTER shooting this home movie mess.

I had heard that this movie was so cool and creative, so I had high expectations. I was immediately disappointed when the movie started and the picture looked like it was filmed by a camcorder. The female lead's acting is so bad, I contemplated turning the dvd off. That bad. I kept on watching because I paid a pretty penny (more than the average price for a dvd) to get a copy of this movie (from the distributor). I also wanted to see if the story and gore were any good. Good luck. The story is about a girl trying to get back to her apartment, that's it. There was some crappy gore and a xxx scene involving the female lead, her boyfriend and a pistol (a pellet handgun in reality). You can probably figure out the rest. I threw away the dvd, just as I threw away my money when I bought it.

When I borrowed a friend's copy of Shatter Dead, I expected to get some thrills of the zombie gore-fest variety. What I received was really really bad. It wasn't even good in a really really bad way. The first thing that upset and disgusted me was not blood or wanton violence but rather that it was shot on video, not film, immediately cheapening the whole experience. The pictures on the DVD case (yes, DVD) misled me into thinking that this would be a professional piece of work. I have seen many low-budget films, but this takes the prize for worst makeup. Some characters, many of which I'm sure were willing locals and student volunteers, donned grey paint on their skin. Others had some some cheap looking gashes about the face. Most, however were not made up at all. It was also very slow paced, a bit confusing and featured both flat staging and acting. It was hard to tell whether it was the poor acting or the poorly written lines ("Don't be scared, I'm scared too") were what made me want to turn it off. Having ripped in to this movie quite a bit, it's only fair to share some highlights. Indeed writer/director, Scooter McRae puts an interesting spin on the old living dead yarn that discusses "souls" as being un-killable, despite condition of the body. It also receives my thumbs up for explicitly using, one more than one occasion, a hand gun as a phallus. It's also encouraging to any aspiring filmmaker to see the manifestation of McRae's ideas and labor, on DVD no less. I guess it won some sort of award, too. Bottom line, this flick is for hardcore low-budget horror fans only. If, on the other hand, a friend owns it you might want to watch it. If not for a laugh, then at least to broaden your filmic horizons.