Sharkenstein

The remaining Polonia brother knocks it out of the park and delivers some of the most frightening shark attack scenes ever committed to film. The special effects are really something to behold, never has your child's toy shark you tried to stitch back together after the dog got a hold of it looked so menacing. The writing is still as sharp as ever, with intelligent, witty banter on par with the great Quentin Tarantino delivered with astonishing conviction by lovable characters you will certainly not forget instantly once the movie's over. The villain of the movie, a Nazi carrying on the inhumane experiments of his forefathers, is acted using the tried and true formula: Replacing "W" with "V" every once in a while = German accent The man exudes so much pure, unadulterated evil that I dare anyone not to get cold sweats whenever he appears on screen. Even with all this said, I assure you, nothing will prepare you for the film's third act, a harrowing dive into complete insanity. All I can really say after experiencing this movie is thank you, Mark Polonia. Thank you for making movies, thank you for being alive, thank you for sharing this masterpiece with the world. It seems like only yesterday he put Jurassic Park in its place with his classic Saurians. Now with Sharkenstein, he's rendered another critically-acclaimed piece of celluloid completely obsolete. Sorry Jaws.

source: Sharkenstein

source: Sharkenstein

Moviecut—Sharkenstein

It looked to be from the same series as Megashark and those other gems, so i wasn't expecting the second coming of "Jaws." I thought it would be one of those stinkers that's fun to laugh at. It wasn't even close! Where to begin? How about calling a body of water "the ocean" when it looked more like an inland lake? Or the aerial shots of some islands clearly nowhere near where it was filmed? Or the underwater diving seen that looked more like someone's scuba trip in the Caribbean? Or the "German" scientist with the world's worst accent who looked like the guy from the "Video killed the Radio Star" video? Or some of the sorriest acting I've seen outside of a Trump speech? Or the "CGI" shark that looked part Claymation, part Stopmotion App? Or the pseudo Goth girl who swam in those knee-high cat boots (if they were indeed boots)? Or the "Nazi" shark with Hitler's brain, if that's what it was supposed to be? Since we're dealing with Nazi scientists, I'll list the biggest crime against humanity: those two clowns who, by wearing their hats backward and sideways, were apparently supposed to be teens or twenty-somethings. First, that apparently failed Ray Liotta butt double. Then, that other slob who could only wear his hat sideways. He looked more like a middle aged Greek restaurateur than any kind of hipster or young person. He deserved to be taken out to a public place and flogged just for the hat. It's a crime against nature for guys over 10 to not wear their hats properly. Of course, whoever bankrolled the film school dropout who made this needs the same treatment, if not worse. Good Lord! This joke makes "Sharknado" look like "Citizen Kane."

A really low budget horror comedy from Mark Polonia who recently brought us Bigfoot Vs Zombies (2016). This one has the Nazis in possession of Frankenstein's brain and heart which are in turn used to control a Sharkenstein composed of other dead sharks. Years later the device is being still being used for experiments. This stitched up shark is sometimes cheesy CGI or an claymation creation. He must use the same effects as David DeCoteau uses. This one is not as good as Polonias others. It is very campy and some parts are funny but it just falls flat after a bit. It does get better when Sharkenstein hits dry land and starts eating people using his fins that are more arms than anything to scurry along the land. This one makes the Asylum shark movies look amazing. This flick misses the boat

There's enjoyable cheap films and enjoyable bad films, but when the makers of such films start pishing in the faces of the viewers by making no effort whatsoever to entertain anybody, and instead serve up a whole load of 'aint we ironic' elbow nudging, references to other bad films, and no much else, then I hope this isn't what the future holds for b-movies. Basically a Nazi shark is on the loose killing folk as part of an experiment involving the Frankenstein monster's brain. There's some character that do some gurning for the camera and even mention 'They Save Hitler's Brain' which is also a terrible film, but it's better than this crap! I know the shark was supposed to look cheap and such like, but there was no effort put into this film whatsoever. I see Brett Piper's name was attached to this one - I liked his Draniac and hoped some of that would rub off here, but it hasn't. If they can't be bothered to offer up even half a decent film, I can't be bothered going on with this.

I believe 1 star is enough. Even the fire in this movie was awful.

The Frankenstein experiment was interrupted during WWII, but his brain and heart were saved. Now sewn together parts of a shark....oh this is just too silly to continue. The Polonia brothers are known for making bad campy films. To that extent, the rubber shark and bad CG special effects were in full swing. They mentioned another famously bad film, "They Saved Hitler's Brain" however what Mark Polonia may not realize is that if you want to make a bad cult classic film, you don't do it by trying extremely hard to make a bad film. Also if you are going to claim to name all the Universal Studios Frankenstein films, don't leave off "Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein" one of their finest. The jokes were not funny enough to laugh at and when you expect a bad film, getting one isn't that funny either. PLOT SPOILER: irritating Skip, dies too late to save the film. If you like their other work, you should enjoy this one. No surfers in film as depicted on cover. Guide: No F-word or nudity. Was that supposed to be sex?

My teenage son and I laughed our way through what might be one of the worst made movies of all time!!