Severed Ways: The Norse Discovery of America

source: Severed Ways: The Norse Discovery of America

One guy I know of said it was one of the worst movies he's seen this year. I don't think it is, but it's still bad. Basically, two Vikings find themselves stranded in North America in 1007, there's a lot of beautiful scenery, little dialog, a soundtrack that borders of great (Judas Priest! Brian Eno! Popul Vuh! Queens of the Stone Age! Morbid Angel!) and bad (Prison era Burzum), we see one of the characters defaecate in graphic detail, and we get lot's of silence interrupted by Ambient music, particularly Burzum's "Tomhet" (one of his pre-prison works, so it actually works.) I can see what the director was aiming for (kind of an "Aguirre, the Wrath of God" for Black Metal fans), but it's just so ponderous, dull and uneventful that it becomes a chore to sit through. There are several themes (particularly Pagan Religion vs. the rise of Christianity) that are touched upon, but left mostly unexplored. Plus, the whole thing lacks confidence-again, you get a feeling of what the director is aiming for, but the whole thing is just so boring. On the plus side, at least it has a first in cinema: A Viking head banging while the music of Dimmu Borgir serves as a soundtrack. Plus, it's better than "Last Days."

I've seen better home videos that parents took of their children singing off key. For the love of Pete, why do I need to see someone take a poo? Really!!!! Each scene seemed to drag on endlessly without giving the viewers anything to look forward to. I get it they were chopping down trees. If someone would just give them a chainsaw... I hope the actors didn't plan on moving on with their careers. After shooting something like this they will never be able to be apart of anything big. How this ever made its way into movie stores is beyond me. Well I can honestly say if I ever had the chance to produce a movie Tony Stone is NOT going to be the person I choose to direct or write it. Awful quality, terrible story.

Look, all anyone needs to know, is that this film Rocks, plain and simple. If you really wanna know what it must have been like to be a Viking surviving the perils of a young America- See this Movie. The three act formula that is so present in most all Hollywood films, has been abandon in "Severed Ways." If your strictly a fan of Buff Nordic men, raping, pillaging, giving loud speeches packed with bravado and axe on axe battles- see "Pathfinder" OR better yet, get hopped up on some over the counter medication, mix the Tobasco in with your Vaseline and watch the "13th Warrior". Free your minds and your ice-holes will follow- Into the woods...

...and where are YOUR cinematic masterpieces? How many Oscar winning films have you made, Jack? Severed Ways may have sucked, but at least they went out and actually tried to make a movie. I really hate all the would-be "Critics" here who do nothing but complain about how bad every movie is, but yet, haven't made anything worthwhile themselves. Jealousy isn't a very flattering thing, which most "Critics" seem to be. As far as the soundtrack is concerned, the music(although not really fitting into the movie very well), is at least different than the cookie-cutter music of almost every other "period" piece.

I have to say that I can't believe that this film received the positive reviews. I would never trust anyone about a movie again who would give this more than two stars. I believe that the good reviews must have come from those who had some stake in the film. This movie wasn't even bad enough to be good. The look of the film seemed to be created by lining up the worst DV cameras in the world and shooting every scene with a different one, while not worrying about setting them up. The entire visual experience is ruined by this. Nothing flows. Every type of camera effect looks like an afterthought. Things need to happen in a movie to make a viewer want to watch. And the characters should be at least remotely interesting. This was like watching some "Day in the life" cam show-only interesting to those who have no life themselves, and/or have a scatological perversion. Seriously, how did showing a person evacuating their bowels further the story or give us insight into the character? Yeah, I know that happens. I read about it in the toddler book, "Everybody Poops." I think the thing that makes me so angry about this film is that it really stinks up the independent movie scene. I have defended the indy movie scene to many people that believe true indy movies are synonymous with crap. This one won't help. I gave this movie one star because I couldn't select 0. The director of this film seriously needs to think about finding a different line of work. I do wonder who actually finances junk like this. In closing, if you didn't get this from the review, I feel this movie had no redeeming value and wish I didn't have to look upon the box at the video store. I don't mean for this review to sound spiteful or hateful but I feel truly feel it is a slap in the face to all those people who are struggling to get out a genuine, thought provoking piece of entertainment.

I just saw this movie... It appears to be dubbed (to Swedish) and the subtitles did not match anything they said. Also, the acting isn't that good - and the story progresses rather slowly. The highlight of the entire movie was watching one of the vikings defecate. If you can call that a highlight... Steer clear of this film. It's nothing more than a waste of your time. No historic facts what so ever.. I didn't hear any Greenlandic or old Norse, only Swedish. Don't know if the version I saw was deliberately destroyed by evil saboteurs, or if it was intended to be this flawed. The movie also contained a lot of Norwegian Black Metal (Dimmu Borgir, Burzum, etc.) - that in itself is cool, but combined with headbanging vikings it's just annoying.

As I was saying just the other day, you simply don't see enough good, old-fashioned Viking dramas these days, do you? Then, lo and behold, what should appear but "Severed Ways: The Norse Discovery of America" to help fill the void and make us all wiser as to just how brutal and savage life could be at the turn of the last millennium (the movie is set in 1007 A.D.). However, let it be noted for the action fans in the audience that "Severed Ways" is, if anything, an "art" Nordic drama, a documentary-style, largely wordless cross between "Quest for Fire" and "The New World" - with even a bit of "The Blair Witch Project" thrown in for good measure (the palsied camera-work is what reminds us most of that film). Orn and Volnard (don't ask me which is which) are two young Norsemen who have embarked on an expedition to North America with other members of their tribe. When their compatriots are killed in a battle with some natives called Skraelings, the two strapping lads flee to the forest where they hide out, search for food, build a makeshift shelter and fight off packs of ravenous animals. They also encounter a couple of Christian monks and more of those dreaded Skraelings. Heck, there's even a doe-eyed squaw named Abenaki who drugs and kidnaps one of the boys and makes passionate love to him in her thatched wigwam. I must admit I kind of admire the sheer lunacy of producer/writer/director/editor Tony Stone's vision (he also plays Ork, which makes him pretty much a one-man show on this film). After all, it isn't often one comes across a movie set in the 11th Century that also features a highly eclectic and utterly anachronistic musical soundtrack ranging in style from pseudo-headbanger to ersatz-Rachmaninoff to quasi-Enya to flat-out monster truck rally commercial. Just for the record, however, the actual recording artists include Popul Vuh, Dimmu Borger, Judas Priest, and Burzum, among others. Actually, the score is probably the single most intriguing aspect of the movie. I'm not sure of the wisdom of having these ancient warriors speaking in subtitled modern slang ("This fish is killer," "We're toast if we stay here," etc.), since it encourages us to giggle right at the moments when we should be taking the story most seriously. Nevertheless, the movie does earn itself some points for its complete lack of sentimentality as well as for its refusal to shy away from depicting the harsh, brutal realities of life at that time (one does wonder, though, just how many trees and animals may have been hurt in the making of this film). Yet, even here Stone goes too far at points. Stark realism is one thing, but watching an actor literally emptying his bowels in full view of the camera is quite another. Still, I guess that's one way of ensuring for yourself and your work a permanent place of record in the annals of motion picture history. "Severed Ways" may be easy to poke fun at, but it's so utterly out-there and loopy - and so doggedly sincere in that loopiness - that you simply can't help but be drawn into it. In all honesty, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about "Severed Ways," but I am sure that I will never forget it.

It is nearly impossible to achieve the epic natural scope and primordial realism of Severed Ways without a massive budget, limitless location potential, heavy machinery (as in 'copters and cranes), and unimaginable set builds. What has been achieved here by a small team of independent filmmakers is truly above and beyond in both cinematic beauty and raw yet researched realism. This film immediately transports you into it's fantastical yet wholly natural world via the empathy one feels for the very real plight of the 2 highly believable Viking characters lost in the new world. In a second achievement of the seemingly impossible Tony Stone manages to fuse together the much hinted at and referenced viking/metal association in popular culture in a majestic and seamless way. This incredible and fitting soundtrack supports the rough epic grandeur of two characters from a lost culture struggling to survive while lost in a new world. Random encounters with forest dwelling Jesuit monks and First Nation warriors add depth to the Vikings search for understanding in their fight to survive. From the epic triumphs of enduring spirit to the sometimes comical/playful details of the human experience this movie sails the metal churned seas with grace and depth.

It is really hard to put it like this, because I think literally EVERY movie has at least some aspects that make it watchable in a way. As I am really into films, I normally just need to watch about 20 minutes of any crap, and my curiosity makes me want to watch the whole thing (trust me I have seen a considerable amount of serious bulls***). It amazed me all the more however, that the rule did not apply this time. Apart from the ridiculous, awkward and most of all pathetic attempt of creating a mixture between a disturbingly bad "pseudo-historic adventure" and even worse "viking hack-and-slay" film, the movie is simply unbelievingly boring. And let me tell you: You can't even imagine HOW boring - I am being serious...! In order to twist the knife, the movie also attempts to create a melancholic atmosphere, that should maybe leave you in a pensive mood - it fails again however - which only contributes to the viewers (already great) contempt and anger for the movie. The first 30 minutes you just can't believe it - after that you continually just get more and more fed up. PLEASE: LEAVE IT WHERE IT IS!