Scary or Die

"Scary or Die" turned out to be much better than expected, especially given Comcast's misguiding description, which failed even to identify the anthology format. The five varied segments were not at all scary, for this jaded adult, but they kept me watching and dragged out first revulsion and later empathy. There were some decent plot-twists as well, especially the end of first segment. I wondered if the two rednecks were the only ones using their bloody brand of de-immigration policy. Southern horror fans should stick together, so I second the spot-on review by SouthernHorrorFan - well-earned praise for these interesting offerings, "Scary or Die" proves that filmmakers don't need a big budget to succeed in generating some decent horror.

:SPOILER: Hillybilly Zombies, Asian Business Associates And A Mexican Clown Birthday Party. I'm Pretty Sure The Movie Budget Was 6 Coronas And A Free taco Bell Meal. The Director Prolly Found The Mask, Made it The Cover then Smoked Large Amounts Of Angel Dust. This Isn't Horror, This Isn't Comedy, This Is Cruel And Unusual Torture. Pretty Sure They Show This Movie To Men In Prison When They Get Put in The Hole. I've Never Seen Anything this Bad, Director Had A Mid Life Crisis. I Have No clue What Happened Or Why, And Never Cared.. only Thing That Kept The Movie Running Was Sheer Curiosity... I Thought I Was being Punked.

I'm sorry but seriously? SPOILERS BELOW. After watching the first two stories I could watch no more. It was too bad. I logged in here to read what I assumed would be similar reviews. Instead I see WAY too many 6-10 star reviews. Look, I recognize that many if not most beginning directors, actors, and writers enter the industry in the horror genre and that's OK. But I wish they and the associated crew members wouldn't try to bid up their efforts like this. Take the criticism to heart and learn from it and go on to make better movies. The first story (The Crossing) was awful. Acting was way over the top. Characters were walking cartoons. Makeup was poor (especially the dirty teeth). The Mexican store clerk was so stereotypical he would've been at home in a Merry Melodies cartoon. SEEEE, SIGNOR! What was wrong with the sound? I had to turn up the volume to hear dialog, it was so poorly mixed. When the driver started spouting profound statements before killing the two stooges I cringed. Please. The cheapness of the production was enhanced by having the characters interact with things off camera. Like one of the killers prodding something but the camera didn't show it or the zombies eating someone but all we saw was his face. The ending was stupid. Why did the agents shoot the woman? I mean, a white woman in obvious distress comes out of the desert and you SHOOT her? She obviously wasn't a zombie. The second story wasn't quite as bad but made little sense. And another dumb ending. I had enough at that point. This movie was poor and should have ratings that reflect that. Instead I see some as high as 9 or 10! Come on guys, let US review YOUR work. Go back and try again.

I generally love horror anthologies but this one is rarely worth your time. Only one of the five segments deserves mention, the longest one, Clowned. The other four, while not really terrible given the films very low budget, doesn't really stand out and are almost never scary or original. Usually, these types of films comes with a wrap-around sequence which makes the whole mess coherent, but this one opted not to give us that satisfaction. I'll still watch any horror anthology I can get my hands on, because if one of the segments aren't satisfying, it's pretty fast on to the next one. Same goes here, where, besides aforementioned Clowned, no segment is longer than 15 minutes. And I'm glad they weren't.

Although not entirely original at parts, Scary or Die is a modern "Vault of Horror" or "Trilogy of Terror." We are presented with five tales of the macabre as a zombie clicks on the clips on a you-tube like site. The Crossing: When three Mexican hating rednecks murder two innocent Latino men at their dump site, they are punished three-fold. Tajeum Lament: A Japanese man who recently lost his wife saves a woman who looks similar to her. She convinces him to meet her for a night and it's going to be a night to remember. RE-Membered: A man with a body in his truck is pulled over by a policeman, he's about to let him go when he hears a rattling in the trunk. We've all seen it before. Clowned - A young man is bitten by an evil clown that eats children. He begins a metamorphism into the same creature that attacked him. Love Come Back: You can already guess what happens in this revenge story. I give it a C because although it's entertaining, sometimes it's way too predictable.

Lured by the cover art to think I was in for a killer clown movie, the Creepshow-esque hand that clicked on the scaryordie website in search of a good horror clip made me realize that this was an anthology. I haven't bothered to check if all segments were directed by different directors, but what they lack in a unifying theme, they make up with style. The general vibe is old-school, with enough blood to keep the viewer happy but no outright gore or torture. The set-ups are also classic : zombies, vampires, devil cults and the aforementioned killer clown. Segments range from 10 to 30 minutes, with no twists. The story lines are straightforward to a point and do not try to add to any mythos. But they all deliver with elegance and a lot of promise. Because none of the sketches tries hard to surprise you, they're better left at their short running time, which is enough to be impressed by the directorial styles displayed. This explains why the Clown segment, the longest in the anthology, is also the weakest. It outstayed its weak set-up. The first and last segments, both tales from the undead, are also the slickest and nicely round up this hodgepodge of atmospheric, but almost too respectful quickies.