Savage Beach

"Savage Beach" differs from the other films in the series; most of its action takes place in a very confined space after our heroines find themselves stranded without fuel on what must be the most crowded lone island in film history as a lot of players turn up, lured by a gold treasure. Because of this limitation to the island, there's less flying and driving and technical gadgets than in the other Sidaris movies; however the amount of * and bombs is up to the usual standard; instead of flying or driving around we now have the ladies stalking through the "jungle" setting; in Dona Speir's case armed with a Steyr AUG which makes it a nice watch for male Austrians like me as this was our standard gun in the army. Sadly my comrades didn't look half as sexy as Dona ... This was Hope-Marie Carlton's last appearence as Taryn; I'm sorry she got replaced by Roberta Vasquez - while Roberta was arguably the more beautiful one, Hope-Marie had an easygoing and joyful vibrancy which Roberta couldn't match - those happy and mischievous smiles everytime she offed a guy were priceless! As to acting- while Sidaris' triple-B series seems to be considered some sort of pinnacle of bad acting, that's very exaggerated - no one of the regulars were really good actors, but they were not that bad either. If you want to witness real bad acting, well, we have that too, it's guest "star" Teri Weigel's and it makes you thankful her apperance was strictly one-time - and appreciate the other players some more. Definitely one of the better entries in the series, 5/10

In case you never watched these big * films, be aware that the writer/director's wife arlene sidaris is the producer and she hires all the women only if they show the goods, which is actually kind of dumb since the girls are known for it... perhaps arlene had a thing for naked babes ... like all their stupid scripts, this one will eventually be topped by the return to savage beach including julie strain ... at one point the stranded women decide they are 600 miles northeast of malokai which would put them on the oregon coast ... i think the dislogue was meant to be southwest ... the funniest part of this film is watching the babes put on their camo makeup while wearing white see through tee shirts ... the only reason to watch this film is dona speir's natural double d's ... if you don't lick them i will

In 1989 the gals in this picture looked fantastic, and their outfits were out of this world. Dona Speir,(Donna),"Fit to Kill",'93, played a very hot looking gal who showed plenty of her flesh and especially her cleavage. Hope Marie,(Taryn),"Nactropolis",94, worked together with Donna and also showed a great deal of her body parts. These two gals wind up in forgotten Hawaiian isles where WW II was fought with the Japs and there still remained a single person who was still fighting the world and had regrets over having killed American's during the war. Donna and Hope are faced with all kinds of men in the jungle, and fighting hand to hand combat with big and small men who are drawn to these women like a magnet. The acting was horrible, and if it was not for the two women in this picture, my vote would have been ZERO !

I don't throw around the term bad movie very often, but "Savage Beach" was worse than the jump to conclusions mat, which according Samir Nagheenanajar is a horrible idea. Directed by Andy Sidaris, "Savage beach" has two plots that come together. One plot follows Donna and Taryn, two DEA agents who are asked to fly medication to Knox Island. On their way back their plane is struck by lightning and they land on a remote Hawaiian island that seems to have no inhabitants. The second story involves a representative from the Philippines who is working with the American government to retrieve gold that was stolen from his country by Japan during WWII. The two stories come together at the end when all parties arrive at the island in which Donna and Taryn initially crash landed to look for the stolen gold. "Savage Beach" is a typical B list action movie filled with explosions, poor acting, and nudity. The combination of these three elements do not always guarantee a bad movie, leaving an opportunity for "so bad it's good" status, but "Savage Beach" just does not make the cut. The movie is full of sexual innuendos that pale in comparison to a good old fashioned "that's what she said" joke, and the only recognizable actor is Al Leong, or as you might now him, that Asian bad guy from every movie. "Savage Beach" definitely exploits a guy's love of * women, All principal actresses in this movie are former playboy playmates, which doesn't make them qualified for much other than taking their clothes off, and take their clothes off they do! "Savage Beach" has a scene with female nudity about every fifteen minutes, some more ridiculous than others. At one point in the film Donna and Taryn put the airplane on autopilot so they can get topless under the ruse of changing their shirts, wet from the storm on Knox Island. As the movie progressed I began thinking that Sidaris was playing an altered form of the meow game from "Super Troopers," attempting to see how many topless women he could incorporate in ninety minutes. "Savage Beach" definitely exploits a guy's love of * women, All principal actresses in this movie are former playboy playmates, which doesn't make them qualified for much other than taking their clothes off, and take their clothes off they do! "Savage Beach" has a scene with female nudity about every fifteen minutes, some more ridiculous than others. At one point in the film Donna and Taryn put the airplane on autopilot so they can get topless under the ruse of changing their shirts, wet from the storm on Knox Island. As the movie progressed I began thinking that Sidaris was playing an altered form of the meow game from "Super Troopers," attempting to see how many topless women he could incorporate in ninety minutes. I stumbled across this movie inside of the Andy Sidaris collection entitled "Girls, Guns, and G Strings." After viewing "Savage Beach" I can say that the name of the DVD collection is fitting, but it does not leave me much hope for the rest of Sidaris' work. Nudity, the main appeal of "Savage Beach," is strategically strewn throughout the movie, but it isn't enough to maintain a viewer's attention (especially a female viewer). The only part of this movie that showed any promise was a five minute deathbed confession from a Japanese soldier at its end. I recommend laughing at the drug filled pineapples shown within the first five minutes, then skipping to the end, saving yourself time and avoiding disappointment.

"Savage Beach" is probably one of Andy Sidaris' most technically accomplished films. He achieves some beautiful color contrasts and other cinematographic effects here (right from the opening scene, which has a samurai silhouetted against an orange sky). There is perhaps a bit too much exposition in the first half, but the movie really comes alive as soon as Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carlton set foot on the "deserted" island. They both look great in their tank tops and they are (expectedly) in tip-top physical shape. As another reviewer noted, watching them wander around the humid island and wave their guns is a pleasure in itself. And at the end, there is even a dramatic scene! Trivia note: 7 years before Pamela Anderson made the "Don't call me babe" line famous in "Barb Wire", Dona Speir had already said "Don't ever call me a bimbo again" to John Aprea in this film - and I, for one, agree with her! (**1/2)

This film essentially begins with two secret agents named "Donna" (Dona Speir) and "Taryn" (Hope Marie Carlton) getting an assignment to fly some badly needed medical supplies in their small cargo plane in Hawaii to an isolated island in the South Pacific. Unfortunately, in the process of returning back to Hawaii they encounter a terrible storm and are forced to land on an uncharted and seemingly deserted island hundreds of miles off course. Meanwhile, certain members of a terrorist organization have infiltrated an American military operation which is in the process of locating a large shipment of gold that was stolen from the Philippines by the Japanese during World War 2. And as it so happens, the location of this gold has been tracked to the exact same island that both Donna and Taryn were forced to land their cargo plane during the fierce storm. What nobody realizes, however, is that the island isn't quite as deserted as they initially thought--and the sole occupant is a Japanese soldier who had sworn to guard the gold with his life many years ago. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that this film pretty much follows the same general pattern as all of the previous movies before it with the main emphasis being given to the sex appeal of the two main characters. So, if the viewer is expecting good acting or a plot with any real depth, then they should probably look elsewhere as this film has neither of these qualities. Again, it pretty much follows the same general pattern as the previous films in the series before it. That being said, although it certainly has its flaws, I don't consider this particular installment to be that bad necessarily and I have rated it accordingly. Slightly below average.

Once again writer/director Andy Sidaris delivers his patented hugely entertaining mix of plentiful yummy gratuitous female nudity, bloody violence, extremely variable acting, big splashy explosions, and rough'n'tumble martial arts fights in this fun tale of federal agents Donna (buxom blonde fox Dona Speir) and Taryn (adorable sprite Hope Marie Carlton), who find themselves trapped on a remote tropical island with a hidden gold treasure on it that's guarded by a mysterious Japanese warrior (well played by Michael Mikasa in cruddy old age make-up). Naturally, a band of vicious no-count villains arrive on the island in search of the gold. Speir and Carlton display a winningly easy'n'breezy natural screen chemistry and, not surprisingly, look spectacular both in and out of their skimpy outfits (a skinny-dipping scene featuring these lovely ladies enjoying a merry frolic in the ocean rates as the definite highlight here). Moreover, Sidaris shows some genuine filmmaking skill with an impressive dramatic flashback sequence towards the end and keeps the plot moving along at a constant snappy pace. John Aprea contributes a solid turn as dashing no-nonsense Captain Andrews, Bruce Penhall makes for a likable male lead as the amiable major Bruce Christian, Rodrigo Obregon snarls it up effectively as the nefarious Martinez, and smoldering brunette * starlet Teri Weigel steams up the screen with her sultry portrayal of Martinez's enticing moll Angelica. Ubiquitous 80's Fu Mancho dude Al Leong pops up playing one of his trademark nasty baddies, sports a ponytail, and even has a sizable amount of dialogue. Howard Wexler's bright cinematography gives the picture a glimmering sunny look. Gary Stockdale's funky score hits the bumping spot. An enjoyable outing.

Savage Beach is hardly a great departure for director Andy Sidaris, yet another cheezy adventure featuring his stock-in-trade heavily armed, big breasted babes, heroic hunks and despicable bad guys; but although it's still a long way from a work of art, this is perhaps the most enjoyable out of the Sidaris films I've seen so far thanks to a story-line in which a more straightforward adventure takes precedence over the series' usual convoluted espionage nonsense. The plot sees Taryn and Donna (Hope Marie Carlton and Dona Speir), Molokai's sexiest cargo pilot/drug enforcement agents, take a break from fighting desperate, evil, power-hungry villains to deliver some desperately needed medical supplies to a remote island hospital. On their way home from the drop, the girls run into a violent storm and wind up crashing on a supposedly uninhabited island where they do some naked swimming, construct a hut out of palm leaves, encounter an aged WWII Japanese soldier (sporting the world's worst old-age make-up), and somehow still wind up fighting desperate, evil, power-hungry villains who just happen to be on the island searching for a horde of gold. In addition to endless shots of the super-buff Carlton and Speir parading around in tight white vests, oh-so-short-shorts and cowboy boots (even when engaging in bouts of unconvincing combat), Savage Beach also offers several other well-endowed babes who are equally obliging when it comes to showing us their wares, a fair few squibtastic bullet hits, some fun kung fu fight scenes, the occasional spot of nookie, plus cult actor Al Leong who, as one of the main goons, shows why he rarely gets given speaking parts. I rate this trashy nonsense a reasonable 5.5 out of 10—my highest score yet for a Sidaris film—but it's still not good enough for me to warrant rounding it up to 6. Maybe next time, Andy... maybe next time.

This film essentially begins with two secret agents named "Donna" (Dona Speir) and "Taryn" (Hope Marie Carlton) getting an assignment to fly some badly needed medical supplies in their small cargo plane in Hawaii to an isolated island in the South Pacific. Unfortunately, in the process of returning back to Hawaii they encounter a terrible storm and are forced to land on an uncharted and seemingly deserted island hundreds of miles off course. Meanwhile, certain members of a terrorist organization have infiltrated an American military operation which is in the process of locating a large shipment of gold that was stolen from the Philippines by the Japanese during World War 2. And as it so happens, the location of this gold has been tracked to the exact same island that both Donna and Taryn were forced to land their cargo plane during the fierce storm. What nobody realizes, however, is that the island isn't quite as deserted as they initially thought--and the sole occupant is a Japanese soldier who had sworn to guard the gold with his life many years ago. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that this film pretty much follows the same general pattern as all of the previous movies before it with the main emphasis being given to the sex appeal of the two main characters. So, if the viewer is expecting good acting or a plot with any real depth, then they should probably look elsewhere as this film has neither of these qualities. Again, it pretty much follows the same general pattern as the previous films in the series before it. That being said, although it certainly has its flaws, I don't consider this particular installment to be that bad necessarily and I have rated it accordingly. Slightly below average.

Once again writer/director Andy Sidaris delivers his patented hugely entertaining mix of plentiful yummy gratuitous female nudity, bloody violence, extremely variable acting, big splashy explosions, and rough'n'tumble martial arts fights in this fun tale of federal agents Donna (buxom blonde fox Dona Speir) and Taryn (adorable sprite Hope Marie Carlton), who find themselves trapped on a remote tropical island with a hidden gold treasure on it that's guarded by a mysterious Japanese warrior (well played by Michael Mikasa in cruddy old age make-up). Naturally, a band of vicious no-count villains arrive on the island in search of the gold. Speir and Carlton display a winningly easy'n'breezy natural screen chemistry and, not surprisingly, look spectacular both in and out of their skimpy outfits (a skinny-dipping scene featuring these lovely ladies enjoying a merry frolic in the ocean rates as the definite highlight here). Moreover, Sidaris shows some genuine filmmaking skill with an impressive dramatic flashback sequence towards the end and keeps the plot moving along at a constant snappy pace. John Aprea contributes a solid turn as dashing no-nonsense Captain Andrews, Bruce Penhall makes for a likable male lead as the amiable major Bruce Christian, Rodrigo Obregon snarls it up effectively as the nefarious Martinez, and smoldering brunette * starlet Teri Weigel steams up the screen with her sultry portrayal of Martinez's enticing moll Angelica. Ubiquitous 80's Fu Mancho dude Al Leong pops up playing one of his trademark nasty baddies, sports a ponytail, and even has a sizable amount of dialogue. Howard Wexler's bright cinematography gives the picture a glimmering sunny look. Gary Stockdale's funky score hits the bumping spot. An enjoyable outing.