Santa's Slay

source: Santa's Slay

Well, the freaking Holidays are coming up again and, since you can't watch Dickens' "Christmas Carol" every damn year, the lowest shelf of your local videostore might offer some variety! This is where you're most likely to find "Santa's Slay"; a pleasantly deranged and hugely entertaining new horror comedy stuffed with season's beatings and blood-red nosed...buffaloes! As from Christmas 2005, Santa is no longer the chubby bringer of joy and presents, but once again the sadistic and HO-HO-HO-Horrendous offspring of Satan he was thousand years ago, until losing a bet against an good-hearted angel. After a couple of pointless but hilarious stops to slaughter annoying sitcom actors like Fran Drescher and Chris Kattan, the mad as hell Santa heads for the township of Hell (which really exists, only it's a Norway) to take revenge on the clever angel – who became human in the meantime – and his faggoty grandson. "Santa's Slay" is a very untraditional horror-holiday movie, with a really stupid plot and lousy gore effects, but you can't help laughing at wrestling legend Bill Goldberg in the role of baddest Santa. And even though he won't win any Academy Awards anytime soon, he's certainly a lot better/cooler than his colleague Hulk Hogan was in "Santa With Muscles". He and gorgeous Emilie De Ravin are the only cast members worth mentioning, by the way, as the male leads are embarrassingly weak. Especially that Douglas Smith boy! He's only fit to play the high-school nerd, but not as a battler against evil demons. "Santa's Slay" is an insignificant but FUN b-movie with some inventive killings, tongue-in-cheek humor, gorgeous strippers and exploding children! Enjoy.

It's really hard to put into words how dumb this movie is. Brett Ratner should be ashamed of himself for putting his name all over this project. This is one he should have said "I think I'll pass on this one." In fact, he and Lions Gate should get fined something this stupid. This Goldberg guy should be forced to do community service for his absolute lack of any talent whatsoever. I'm not too familiar with this guy, but I've heard he's wrestler. That speaks volumes for a lot of things. In this movie, he certainly acted like a wrestler, with a stupid tough guy voice. I mean this guy did wrestling moves in the movie. What have movies come to? I only watched this because a friend of mine is wrestling fan who happens to like this character. I'm still sideways about this, because he owes me money for this rental and 90 minutes of my time. I did not find the movie funny or mildly entertaining. Only a wrestling fan could find any redeeming value in watching this. I weep for these people. Just a sad, sad situation. If your normal, STAY AWAY from this.

This movie was pathetic. I never saw such a bad movie, with a stupid premise. This thing was obviously made for embittered people that hate Christmas holidays, and everything nice. And that's why it sucks. This pathetic piece of trash fails both as comedy and as a horror film. I would rate it with less than zero, because this is what this lame excuse for a film deserves. There wasn't anything good about this. This is the worst movie ever made. What happened with good Christmas movies, like "It's a Wonderful Life"? This movie it's so bad that it seems like it was made by Kevin Smith or the creator of Family Guy. It is a complete waste of time, the premise was stupid and everything about it sucked.

This movie is definitely up there for being one of the best cheesy movies ever. Seriously anyone who gave a bad comment about this movie is retarded. Obviously the dialogue and acting is going to be bad. It's not supposed to be a good quality horror movie. They were obviously trying to make it cheesy just like Batman starring Adam West. This movie was probably never meant to be taken seriously and anyone who watches it and says "Wow that was a bad movie" needs to give their head a shake. If you were looking for a good quality Christmas movie why would you watch a movie called Santa's Slay, starring Bill Goldberg. This movie is a must-see for anyone who wants a laugh. Anyone who watches this movie and expects it to be serious is seriously retarded.

A VERY cheesy movie with a lame plot to be fair. But it is as much Comedy as Horror. The comedy is in the comical and inventive ways people are mashed about and the barely contained groans you let out each time a new "plot" twist is revealed. I recommend this movie for either Halloween or Christmas parties, with a few friends, a few drinks and maybe a card or board game. Very enjoyable and something you don't see a lot of anymore. It contains a lot of B actors getting mashed (the opening scene.. spoiler: has Fran Drescher and Jimmy Fallon getting brutally murdered in a scene that makes my inner soul smile), The stereotypical lecherous preacher is played well by Dave Thomas (Grace Under fire, Rat Race, etc) and Goldberg as the Anti-Christ Viking Hellgod spouting Christmas carols makes me laugh. The scene explaining his origins was also hilarious and was brilliantly done in the wooden stop motion style of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer".

A darkly comic movie set during the festive period; a small, snow-covered, all-American town under attack from a terrifying folkloric being; a teenager who isn't fond of Christmas; an old man who makes crazy inventions; a mean-spirited old lady; Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) playing over the opening credits: nope, It's not Gremlins (unfortunately)... it's Santa's Slay, a desperately unfunny tongue-in-cheek horror starring wrestler Bill Goldberg as Santa Claus, a demon forced to bestow gifts upon the good people of the world for a thousand years after losing a bet with an angel. However, when the thousand years are up, Santa goes seeking revenge... With dreadful jokes, an awful script, crappy direction, and abysmal acting from almost everyone involved (including Emilie de Ravin from Lost, and several others who really should know better), Santa's Slay is one of those films so bad that it makes me depressed just thinking about the budget that was squandered on it. Admittedly, Goldberg is fairly imposing as the malevolent Father Christmas (at least until he starts to talk), and there ARE some gratuitous shots of topless strippers (meaning that Santa's Slay narrowly avoids getting the lowest possible rating from me), but be warned, even ardent fans of z-grade trash might have trouble sitting through this mess in one go.

possibly the greatest movie of all time, up there with troll 2, i mean, nudity, action, Santa killing with bombs, doesn't get much better! the sleigh ride chase scene through a hick town is my personal favorite high light, i cannot wait for a sequel and a Grammy and Oscar nomination god bless America seriously yup, i really love how Santa Claus has a demonic voice, this movie will be sure to spread the fear that should be associated with Christmas to the little kids of the world, however, i do suggest some discretion because once you see this movie, you will never be the same, i watch it like 10 times a day, and now i am done with my review, thank you!

It must be hard being a popular wrestler. People pay money to see you, to cheer for you, to buy your merchandise, and generally to make you feel like more then the average man. It makes you think that if they were willing to do all that, they'd be willing to follow you if you attempt other projects as well. And they do. But mainly to make fun of it. Then again, it seems like wrestlers are united in their substandard film choices. Hulk Hogan's, whose wrestling stardom was heavily influenced by his guest appearance in Rocky III, movie career reads like a "What Not To Do When Picking A Script". Steve Austin, Triple H, and Adam Copeland (Edge) won't exactly be remembered for their marks in Hollywood either (Only the future will tell if The Rock breaks the mold or follows in their footsteps). And then along comes a film like this, starring former WCW dynamo Bill Goldberg. Surprisingly, it's not all bad. True, one shouldn't go into the film expecting a fully sensible plot, or a masterwork of acting, or extremely convincing special effects (look out for the prone motionless 'hell-deer!'). However, the film does contain a few likable characters, some decent puns in the Christmas vein (along with some excruciating ones), and half the time, Goldberg actually manages to make the concept of Santa really being an evil entity comes off as credible. And of course, any film that presents the credit sequence as a naughty and nice list can't be all bad. In the end, it's not Santa With Muscles. And that's really saying something.

This is a awful movie. In this movie Santa Claus is a demon and he goes around on Christmas eve killing people. This movie is awful. Do not see it. I think it is supposed to funny. But is it not. It is sick. And sick is not funny. Stick is just stick. This is one of the worst horror movies ever. The story line is awful. It is just a pile of pooh pooh. This would never have been made. Do not wast your time. Do not wast your money. Do not see this awful movie. It stinks more then pooh pooh. It is the most poopy of the pooh. It is just pooh pooh. Pooh pooh, pooh pooh, pooh pooh, pooh pooh. I can not believe they made this pooh. It is popular pooh. Which is a good thing. Because I hate when pooh pooh like this is popular.