Robot Ninja

source: Robot Ninja

This is a great movie. Packed with suspense, entertainment, and lots of gore. This movie is very hard to find, so if you see it, I highly recommend you take advantage of your luck and get it. Recommended to anyone who likes Horror/action. Also, check out the director's debut film "The Dead Next Door". 10 out of 10 Fans of movies like this should Check out Puppet Master, Skinned Alive, Sleep Away Camp, Slumber Party Massacre, and other Full Moon Pictures flicks. For other recommendations, check out the other comments I have sent in by clicking on my name above this comment section.

In the career of indie cult director J.R. Bookwalter, ROBOT NINJA stands out purely for its own ineptitude. It's an entirely cheap, ridiculous little affair about a comic book writer who creates the titular character and has to embody him to fight crime. The story's not bad per se, but the execution is appallingly cheap, the acting quite rubbish, and the effects non-existent. A "film" which could barely be described as such, in fact.

Make no mistake, this is a very bad movie. It is a rare gem that is so bad it will leave you aching with laughter. Its hard to imagine what the makers were thinking as they made it. I wonder what they thought once they saw the finished product. Did they laugh as much as I? Will you?

Remember those really cheesy, but fun ninja flicks from the eighties? Like Nine Deaths of the Ninja and American Ninja. You know, the ones with all those short guys in pajamas running around and hacking away at everything that moved with a ginsu knife? Remember how much fun it was to see the "Head Ninja" duke it out with the hero? OK, now can you remember all those futuristic robot and android films? You know, like Blade Runner, Android, and Cyborg? OK, now lets pretend that you combined them...How cool would that be?!?! OK, now lets pretend that you did all that, but you had only one guy in the film playing as the robot and the ninja-Like you rolled the two of them together to make one hero. Sound cool? I think it sounds hellacool! So naturally when I saw ROBOT NINJA in the local video store as a fifty cent rental, I jumped at the chance to rent it. I was a little perplexed by all the dust on the top of the case, but I took it home immediately. Well, the film case has this big ad on it that says "Special appearance by Burt Ward". Now if you have no clue who Burt Ward is, he played Robin in the Batman series from the sixties. I thought that was a little weird that a film of this (seemingly) high caliber would have a better tag line than "Hey we got the BOY WONDER to pop in for a shooting day". OK, the film opened up with someone watching a scene from the TV show called "Robot Ninja". Well, long story short: Some guy dons the Robot Ninja costume and decides to become a vigilante. So we now have 2 very large and obvious problems 15 minutes into the film. 1)He's not a robot. 2) He's not a ninja either. Hmmmm? Well, even though I felt lied to and had my dreams smashed so early on, I continued to watch this stinker anyway. Well, after a lot of blood, bad lighting, some "not-so" special effects, hokey dialogue like "Hold it you thugs" (gimme a break here!) and no plot to speak of-I felt ill! I had just spent my hard earned 50 cents on something that you couldn't pay me to sit through again. I couldn't believe that such a lousey film could made anywhere in the world without the lost Arc of the Covenant opening up and melting off the faces of the entire cast! Do yourself a favor and avoid this film at all costs. In fact, I recommend that we dig a hole and put this rubbish in the nearest field to fertilize the corn. Actually wait...I think I'd feel bad for the corn.

Even as a fan of really, really bad movies, this is too much. The Robot Ninja is neither a robot or a ninja. There's a lame Mike Meyers joke in there somewhere. The movie couldn't have cost more than like $20, and honestly, my friend and some kids he knew in high school came up with a vastly superior film over the course of a summer in rural Massachusetts.Regardless, its worse than <i> Matrix Revolutions</i> but not so bad as <i> House of the Dead</i>. 1.5 out of 10.372 on the secret Calculando Calrissian scale. (That isn't good)

My friend and I rented this movie because it has two great words combined into one crappy movie. Robot Ninja! He got sick of women kickin his butt so he donned a spandex "tank armored" suit and became the robot ninja. It sucked so much it was funny. I recommend it to fans of G.I. Bro and Frogs! Well that's it... time to write my paper on this magnificent piece of crap probably made in someone's closet or laundry room.

Don't get me wrong, I rented because it looked so bad... call me a masochist. I'll never have that hour and a half back. But I look at it as a positive experience, now I know what NOT to do if I ever make a movie. I especially love when he repairs his arm with the junk on the table, and how the lead bad girl rapes the guy. How does a woman rape a man? Oh well. Like I said, it was fun, but only because it was so bad it was good. Don't rent it expecting anything other than a good laugh at these poor souls' expense.

A friend rented this movie a few years ago are a party, and a few people ran to the bathroom to puke their guts out. This movie is basically low-budget violence for the sake of low-budget violence, done in an incredibly disturbing and violent way. Unlike other movies that disturb you and are thought-provoking, this just leaves you feeling cheap, dirty, and sick to your stomach. No good story, terrible acting, obviously no budget. This could have not even looked good on paper. If you take pleasure in seeing a man get his forearm stabbed repeatedly by a girl gang, only to have him stick a metal plate into the wound, this is the movie for you.

...here it is. I rented this in my early teens sometime, actually hoping for a Ninja movie, or better yet, a ROBOT Ninja movie. The main character and some inventor guy make this costume, and becomes... THE ROBOT NINJA! dun dun dun.... Well, it's a guy in a dumb looking suit. He's not a robot, and he's not a ninja. I'm pretty sure he never even tried to do any sort of "ninja move" either. The whole thing was really really boring and lame, and I'm sure that if I watched it again now I'd laugh my ass off at how horrible this thing is. At the time I wanted a damn ninja movie, and this thing just plain sucked. Could have used more ninjas, robots, and robot ninjas.