Robot Holocaust

I remember seeing this on one of the many MST3K episodes I have on my VCDs, and I discovered "Robot Holocaust" being one of the many episodes. Was Kincaid trying to make Comedy or not? If not, he did a poor job. But is he did, he does wonderful! And thank you MST3K, for showing us how hammy movies can get. *SPOILERS A HEAD!!! Here are the many crazy scenes and characters you must see: 1. The super-fake wrestling battles in the underworld. 2. Beliria and her fake Eastern European accent. 3. Tork, the robot with staligtites hanging from his mouth and a weird Robby Shanker haircut. 4. Fake fainting galore. 5. Killer sock puppet monsters. 6. "Mutants" whom are really actors and actresses with bad makeup jobs. 7. Beliria trying to get herself undressed, only to be interrupted by "The Dark One". 8. The Dark One itself, really a giant computer with speech impediment. 9. The giant spider whom attacks the scantily claded tycoon chick. Seen nothing like it since the Gamera films of the 1960's and 1970's. Last, but not least.......... 10. The Dark one's creator and the rich girl's father being transformed into a potato/avacado type of being.

This movie is bad, it goes without saying. But, I have seen comedies that weren't this funny. Really? Sewer socks? A female villain that is a cross between Barbarella and Freddie Mercury? The only reason that it wasn't longer is that Kai had to be back at Chippendales by 6:00. The whole thing looked like it was filmed at William McKinley Jr. High with the art room making construction paper props. The grand total of three robots that comprise the mega population of robotum. Finally, the pasty white legs and tighty whities of the slaves used to feed the dark one. The whole thing looks like a Jazzercise class gone bad. Other than that, it was fantastic.

All right, there's no way to sugarcoat this. The plot was ridiculous, the premise was ridiculous, the acting was unconscionable, the effects were laughable and all of the outdoor scenes appear to have been filmed in New York's Central Park. That having been said, there was something about this movie that I couldn't walk away from. Maybe it was the atmosphere, or maybe it was the evil super-vixen or the amazon wenches. Anyway I'm not one to sit on the margins and criticise without pointing out a few redeeming qualities, so here they are. A violent off-shoot of the women's lib movement is portrayed in a wilderness setting (central park, of course), and all of the masochistic young men out there will be very impressed. Furthermore, some of the scenes in which certain characters lose consciousness are amusingly dramatic (you'll note that I write dramatic, rather than convincing). All I can say is that some people like B movies and I'm one of them. If you're one of them too, then give it a go. Cheers, Mr Kincaid. This is one for the ages.

The absolute best thing about this film is its service as grist for the Mystery Science Theater 3000 mill. The film itself is about as bad it gets, but you will definitely laugh as Joel and the bots rip it to shreds.

After watching this movie, I couldn't help but notice the parallels between it and another film called America 3000. Both were very bad mid 1980's post apocalypse disasters on celluloid. Obviously fake sets, wooden acting and stupid monsters are found in both films. About the only difference between the two is that the lead villainess here (played by Angelika Jager) has a very thick accent. Avoid this one unless you're watching the MST3K version. Joel and the bots barely salvage this turkey.

Well, this movie actually did have one redeeming quality. It made up the funniest season one episode of MST3K. I wish Rhino had released this one instead of "The Crawling Hand."

"Robot Holocaust" (aka. Robots Conquer the World) is one Turkey of a NY-USA/Italian film. Even though I don't mind post- end of the world films, but THIS does not quite cut it, unless it's the MSTied version that is. The film is full of emotionless plastic looking robots, one robot whom constantly cracks corny jokes, killer sockpuppets, heroes and heroines in skimpy outfits, villainess that can't speak English well, Omnipressant being called "The Dark One" (Oooooooh, scarry! NOT!) and a captive that looks like a human avacado. How can anyone take this seriously? Most everyone I watched this MST3K episode with laughed their heads off and wondered if this film was a comedy. The irony is, "Robot Holocaust" is not a Comedy, but it will make you laugh at how cheap it is.

Angelika Jager, eh? What a woman! Alas, the sad fact is young Angelika is the only reason this film is worth even half-watching – and even then only if you're a heterosexual male – because everything else about this film is total trash. Angelika plays Valaria, the sidekick of the Dark One, a deep disembodied voice who issues veiled – and not so veiled – threats to his lovely assistant as the cartoon power station in which he resides is visited by a young hero called Neo who is – well, to be honest I can't quite recall why he's there. Wants to free humankind from the Dark One's tyrannical grip, I think; something like that, anyway. The fact is, the rank amateurishness of all aspects of this film quickly had me sinking into a kind of stupor, from which I would only emerge when the lovely Angelika was on screen. Now I can't claim that the lovely Angelika is exactly an actress of quality – in fact the truth is she could easily be out-acted by a toothpick – but she possesses the kind of luminous beauty that makes such matters irrelevant. Anyway, it would be impossible to possess such beauty and acting talent – it just wouldn't be fair. Angelika has a sulky, sensuous mouth and a sexy French accent identical to Valerie Kaprisky's in Jim McBride's 1983 remake of Breathless and, although she can't act for toffee, there's something Bergmanesque (Ingrid, not Ingmar) about her that is quite enchanting. Not that her lack of acting talent singles her out for criticism in this cast of nobodies. Everybody looks as if they're envisaging in their mind the words as they appeared in their script, and very carefully repeating each one, completely forgetting to add any kind of emotion into their lines. The guy who plays the heroine's father has only one expression throughout, regardless of whether he's watching two gladiators scrapping, describing his boffo invention, facing the terror of coming face to face with The Dark One, or being slowly absorbed by the aforementioned Dark One – who actually looks like a slimy green egg – so that only his living head remains. That expression is one of expressionless boredom – an image that will probably be mirrored by anyone who sits through this rubbish. This gets one mark for Angelika's sultry looks and no other reason

I love B-Rate films -- this one is tops. The set, costumes, dialog, acting, sock puppet monsters, silly accents, and special effects (if you can call them that) are all totally B-Rate. Nothing about it even hints at being professionally produced. The opening fight scene with two guys in their underoos is especially ridiculous. Slave laborers in high heels are very convincing. If you also enjoy B-Rate movies, check this one out. I don't know what else I can say to fill up ten lines. This is one of the best B-Rate movies I've ever seen. If you like B-Rate movies, then you'll probably like this one. If you don't like B-Rate movies, you'll probably hate this movie.

This movie made me cringe - and afterwords it left me feeling violated and empty inside. The script could have been made by a group of 11-yearolds, the acting was horrible. The FX were , on the other hand, very entertaining , but not in the intended way - the wall of sock-puppet "sewer worms" and the Spider leg made us burst out in laughter. This movie is hard to watch even for die-hard fans of b-movies, and although I am glad that I made it though this piece of oozing garbage I will make damn sure never to do it again. Favourite character: Garth the macho Conan-type barbarian :D