Ring of Darkness

Trailer—Ring of Darkness

source: Ring of Darkness

source: Ring of Darkness

source: Ring of Darkness

I saw the last 45 minutes or so of this. Where the hell was the gore? The 'zombies' look like robots underneath, not zombies, and when they were supposedly scratched to show their zombie skin underneath, its really really stupid - those sratches are obviously waaaaay to uniform. I can't stand homo-erotcism in horror movies! Not that there's anything wrong with that, if thats your thing go for it, but man, it really pushed this movie over the edge, I never ever need to see anything like that again. Although, maybe this film is really just a stunning expose on real boy bands, and its trying to tell us something, that actually makes sense.

The lead singer of the nation's hottest boyband drops out under mysterious circumstances and auditions are held to replace him. Shawn, an aspiring "rocker" is roped into trying out by his girlfriend (played atrociously by American Idol reject Ryan Starr) who thinks it could be his big break. Poor Shawn isn't like these guys, although it is hard to tell that by looking at him. In case you forget which one is the "rocker," Shawn is the one with the (empty?) guitar case and the skin-tight Metallica shirt. Anyway, soon Shawn and the Idol reject realize that this is a DeCouteau film, which means that the boyband is really a front for supernatural shenanigans in boxer-briefs. Ring of Darkness is not as homoerotic as most have claimed, and it has higher production values than most other movies I've seen of his. The plot is actually sort of amusing and has some neat little twists, and the acting isn't bad (there are supporting roles by B-movie faves Adrienne Barbeau and Mink Stole), with the exception of the horrendous Idol reject. The boyband members are extremely annoying, and their one song and music video are interspersed throughout the film as filler, which makes viewing nearly unbearable. Moral of the Story: Don't join a boyband, because they'll just smother you in goo while wearing boxer-briefs. Hey, wait...

This movie was not the worst movie I Have ever watched but pretty darn close to it! The plot which is about a group of zombie Boy Band members who after losing their head leader zombie singer need to find another . They hold auditions and choose a few guys to come back to their home place and continue the auditions. There are three guys and each are has their own reason for being there, one a reporter, the other is just wanting to join the pack, and other is because of his girl friend. While at this home on a remote beach the action starts taking place, (no more said you can say for your self rather or not its action). I ,however, believe that there was very little action. The movie took Sationnist worships and made them look funny rather than scary as they should look. Another writer said there was no violence in this movie "so why was it Rated R"? I guess being eaten, shoot in the heart with a bow, and dragging someone against their will some place is not enough violent for someone. I think the movie was trying to play on the fact that all boys bands are close by using sexuality to show they share everything. Which in turn just made them look how shell I say this nicely not completely straight! They also had some very cheesy dance moves, a horrible pop song, and clothing. Their was the cute one, the hot one, the guy next door, the etc one. I gave this movie a four because I was very bored when I turned it on; it was very easy to laugh. There was some good acting by the women who played the girlfriend of one and the boyfriend, the reporter, and the head witch. I found the scenery very nice to look at from time to time like when they showed the ocean water hitting the rocks, but that got over shadowed when they started showing the dark woods and the fogy house which look too man made and the hiding place of the guy zombies which also looked to man made. Their was ,how,ever, one perk to the whole movie good looking guys. Over all I say don't buy the movie first rent it if its even out on video or watch it on Showtime like I did. It was worth the laugh too keep me busy for a hour or so.

that about sums it up.(so obligatory IMDb stupid rules force me to add five lines to this 5 line critic of a Hollywood masterpiece up there with Kane,Requiem for a dream,the harder they come(reggae masterpiece movie)Hollywood must die,the accountants have taken power,creativity is out for lunch since 1985,remakes galore sign of the shallow times(am i done yet?obviously not,recipes anyone?)in itself it's a piece of crap but it's really fun: the realistic depiction of the shallow pop boy band industry and it's codified marketed sexuality(except that decoteau like john waters subverts it by homosexual undertones but without the talent(after all it does seem like a TV command job)

When I started to watch this movie, I thought awesome, a boy band that is mostly zombies, awesome premise. This movie however took a horribly bad turn and became an unwatchable piece of garbage. First off, no gore. If your going to make a crappy B-movie about zombies, you need gore. This had none, the zombies apparently kill their victims by dog piling them to death, what the hell. Also if you have a zombie movie, more than 4 people have to die, and they all need to die violently on camera. The movie starts out with the singer of a boy band getting dog piled by the rest of the band, presumably because he found out they were zombies. So the band needs a new singer and holds nation wide try outs. Three people are picked and go to the bands private Island where one by one they disappear (i.e. "eaten" by the zombies) until only the "bad boy" remains, and saves the day. Late in the movie you find out that they are actually a boy band from the 50's who got in a plane crash and they were all killed. Then this lady brings them back with some kind of magic, and they were different hit boy bands through out the past few decades. No one seemed to notice that all these bands looked like the same 4 dudes with different hair cuts and clothes. Then at the end the main characters girl friend dies and he brings her back as a zombie. Didn't this guy see "Return of the Living Dead 3", not a good idea. Acting was horrible, script was horrible, and no blood or nudity. I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone. Also you must endure music that makes the Backstreet Boys seem tolerable.

(Spoilers) Redicules and bumbling film that wouldn't even be good, or bad, enough to make the famous Bad Movie TV show "Mystery Sicence Theater 3000". The movie is about this rock group the Take Ten, even though there's only five members in it, who's suddenly out it's lead singer Gordo, Greg Chipes, and is desperately looking for a replacement. You see Gordo found out who the members of the group really are and tried to make a run for it from the groups island, Compus, where they were all staying at. Captured on the beach Gordo tells the group members that he's going to spill the beans on them, to the National Enquire. Only to get spilled into the ocean by them never to be seen again. Coming up with this * & bull story that Gordo was a drug addict and was sent by the group to some secret rehabilitation clinic they through their manager Alex, Adrienne Barbeau, conduct a nation wide search for Gordo's replacement. Narrowing the competition for Gordo's job down to three lucky guys Max Jonah & Shawn, Eric Dearborn Jeff Paterson & Coltin Scott,their flown to Compus for what would be a battle for the lead singers contest to see who's the one to finally replace Gordo. At the island strange things begin to happen in that Jonah turns out to be an undercover reporter working for a supermarket tabloid magazine, The National Enquire?. He's soon discovered by the group members only to be iced and never seen or heard from again. Max who would give his right arm to make the group "Take Ten" ends up giving up a lot more, his life. When they feel he's not cut out to be with them and do a little bit of cutting up of Max on their own. Shawn who's at the island with his girlfriend Stacy, Ryan Starr, isn't really interested in becoming a group member, It's all Stacy's idea. He tries to leave the island only to be captured by the Take Ten and their manager Alex, who seems to have the hots for him,and. He's then put through this really weird ritual at a secret cave by the beach where Shawn as well as all the group members, striped down to his boxer shorts as the group preforms some kind of Satanic rites or ceremony on him. Shawn is at last rescued by his girlfriend Stacy who comes to his aid with a cross-bow. Later Shawn unties himself and takes what looks like a bunch of voodoo dolls and throws them into the fire, that the group set for their ceremony, causing them as well as the group members to burn to a crisp. The movie tries to give us a surprise ending which is about as effective as the rest of the story that preceded it: it's totally unbelievable. Were given this BS story about the group being around since the mid 1950's changing their name every five years or so. The rock & Roll group kept hitting the top Billboard Charts with hit after hit for the last fifty years starting with the 1954 Rock & Roll band Bobby Coolly and the Sea Sharks. As for the Busty Adrienne Barbeau who played Alex, the Take Ten's manager, looked like she was either out in the sun too long or went the distance in the boxing ring with "Iron Mike" Tyson.