Post Apocalyptic Commando Shark

Granted with a movie such as "Post Apocalyptic Commando Shark" and the movie's synopsis, you just knew what you are getting yourself into. Still, I opted to sit down and watch this 2018 movie on the odd chance that the movie would be so bad that it was actually good and enjoyable - you know what I mean here. Ultimately, "Post Apocalyptic Commando Shark" wasn't one such movie. It was just plain and utterly bad. Yeah, this was not an impressive movie, not even in the least bit. The storyline was generic, which wasn't the movie's biggest drawback. But the production of the movie was just abysmal. Everything was stereotypical, and it was essentially just a bunch of chunky Americans running around making a low-budget amateurish movie. The shark was just hilarious. It was so bad to look at that you have to watch it to believe it. A head made of paper mache and it was fully unmovable, just locked in the same position. And they didn't even try to make it look realistic, which was the most atrocious part of this abysmal mask. I actually think this was the worst prosthetic mask I have seen in a movie. The acting was dubious at best, but at least I think the performers had fun making this movie. Which should count for something, I suppose. I am rating "Post Apocalyptic Commando Shark" a mere two out of ten stars. I managed to sit through the entire movie, but I can't claim to be entertained. And this is definitely not a movie that I will be watching for a second time. Some of us suffered through this, so you don't have to. Don't waste your time, money or effort on this one.

I've seen plenty of the "Shark" movies that came out in the wake of movies like Sharknado making it relatively big. Anyone into bad movies knows what you're getting into when you watch a movie like that. Bad CGI, weak characters and very bland stories usually with a splice of some cringe inducing comedy elements. This tries to take the formula of a bad shark movie and mix it with a low grade comic book movie. Full disclosure, I didn't finish the film. I got around the 40 minute mark before calling it quits. I had been tempted to call it quits earlier but wanted to hold on until the half way mark to give it a chance but I regret those extra 20 minutes. The first 20-30 minutes are the same scene over and over again. Movie introduces a character or two, they end up walking in the woods and get attacked by a shark and some "Russian" soldiers before all dying. I believe I was on the 4th rendition of this scene where a brand new group were walking in the woods when I was first tempted to turn it off but I decided to hold on. To my amazement, we cut to a secret base in some warehouse for a prolonged "comedy" bit which was incredibly painful until mercifully they get attacked and all killed. Well, great, a new type of scene. I had finally made it past the repeating wood scenes. Well that was until the next scene was a separate secret base which was for a comedy scene and they were also then attacked in the same way and all killed. I was expecting a poor costume but at least something that made me smile. The costume is basically just a few guys in trenchcoats with a paper mache shark head with a mouth hanging open so your can see the guy wearing a thin black bodysuit to hide his face. There is no movement in the mask, the jaw hangs limply and the eyes are just glued on discs. It's incredibly low effort, which I know is meant to be the point but its too low effort to even be cute. It's rare where I'd want a poorly rendered CGI creation instead of a practical effect but there was no "effect" here so CGI may have at least been a bit funnier. The movie has about half an idea at best. "Bad costumes, toy guns and people being deliberately bad actors is funny, right?" I've seen it work plenty of times. This really didn't.

This 'movie' opens with two scientists laughing maniacally. The maniacal laugh works sometimes, in cartoons or if you are Austin Powers, but outside of that, it is usually just obnoxious, and this diabolical laugh duet, was particularly cringe-worthy. From there, it really only gets worse. I am a long ways from a movie snob and have sat through some real rubbish, but I only lasted 15 minutes into this one. I skimmed a couple parts in the middle and watched the end just to make sure I was comfortable saying this was truly and utterly hideous and revolting. I'm not sure I've ever come across a movie that I couldn't say anything nice about at all. Sometimes, at the very least, these low budget affairs might have some good props or outfits or settings, but even all of those were awful. Please don't watch this movie. It will give you nightmares and not in a good way.

Moviecut—Post Apocalyptic Commando Shark

This 'movie' opens with two scientists laughing maniacally. The maniacal laugh works sometimes, in cartoons or if you are Austin Powers, but outside of that, it is usually just obnoxious, and this diabolical laugh duet, was particularly cringe-worthy. From there, it really only gets worse. I am a long ways from a movie snob and have sat through some real rubbish, but I only lasted 15 minutes into this one. I skimmed a couple parts in the middle and watched the end just to make sure I was comfortable saying this was truly and utterly hideous and revolting. I'm not sure I've ever come across a movie that I couldn't say anything nice about at all. Sometimes, at the very least, these low budget affairs might have some good props or outfits or settings, but even all of those were awful. Please don't watch this movie. It will give you nightmares and not in a good way.

I've seen plenty of the "Shark" movies that came out in the wake of movies like Sharknado making it relatively big. Anyone into bad movies knows what you're getting into when you watch a movie like that. Bad CGI, weak characters and very bland stories usually with a splice of some cringe inducing comedy elements. This tries to take the formula of a bad shark movie and mix it with a low grade comic book movie. Full disclosure, I didn't finish the film. I got around the 40 minute mark before calling it quits. I had been tempted to call it quits earlier but wanted to hold on until the half way mark to give it a chance but I regret those extra 20 minutes. The first 20-30 minutes are the same scene over and over again. Movie introduces a character or two, they end up walking in the woods and get attacked by a shark and some "Russian" soldiers before all dying. I believe I was on the 4th rendition of this scene where a brand new group were walking in the woods when I was first tempted to turn it off but I decided to hold on. To my amazement, we cut to a secret base in some warehouse for a prolonged "comedy" bit which was incredibly painful until mercifully they get attacked and all killed. Well, great, a new type of scene. I had finally made it past the repeating wood scenes. Well that was until the next scene was a separate secret base which was for a comedy scene and they were also then attacked in the same way and all killed. I was expecting a poor costume but at least something that made me smile. The costume is basically just a few guys in trenchcoats with a paper mache shark head with a mouth hanging open so your can see the guy wearing a thin black bodysuit to hide his face. There is no movement in the mask, the jaw hangs limply and the eyes are just glued on discs. It's incredibly low effort, which I know is meant to be the point but its too low effort to even be cute. It's rare where I'd want a poorly rendered CGI creation instead of a practical effect but there was no "effect" here so CGI may have at least been a bit funnier. The movie has about half an idea at best. "Bad costumes, toy guns and people being deliberately bad actors is funny, right?" I've seen it work plenty of times. This really didn't.

Granted with a movie such as "Post Apocalyptic Commando Shark" and the movie's synopsis, you just knew what you are getting yourself into. Still, I opted to sit down and watch this 2018 movie on the odd chance that the movie would be so bad that it was actually good and enjoyable - you know what I mean here. Ultimately, "Post Apocalyptic Commando Shark" wasn't one such movie. It was just plain and utterly bad. Yeah, this was not an impressive movie, not even in the least bit. The storyline was generic, which wasn't the movie's biggest drawback. But the production of the movie was just abysmal. Everything was stereotypical, and it was essentially just a bunch of chunky Americans running around making a low-budget amateurish movie. The shark was just hilarious. It was so bad to look at that you have to watch it to believe it. A head made of paper mache and it was fully unmovable, just locked in the same position. And they didn't even try to make it look realistic, which was the most atrocious part of this abysmal mask. I actually think this was the worst prosthetic mask I have seen in a movie. The acting was dubious at best, but at least I think the performers had fun making this movie. Which should count for something, I suppose. I am rating "Post Apocalyptic Commando Shark" a mere two out of ten stars. I managed to sit through the entire movie, but I can't claim to be entertained. And this is definitely not a movie that I will be watching for a second time. Some of us suffered through this, so you don't have to. Don't waste your time, money or effort on this one.