Pirates of Treasure Island

This movie has nothing to do with Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island. Poorly put together with a terrible cast, and awful dialog. The actors can't even deliver a line with french accent. Lance has come a long way from being "brilliant" in Aliens. The people behind this load of poop had to be kidding. Too bad there are no funny lines in it. This is a plastic-bag with the label "Instant pirates, just add crap" This movie just hurts. Nothing more to say but to add this quote... "Patience my dear, we're going to an island. I'm sure there be plenty of bitches for all of us"

"Treasure Island, Pirates of" is how it should read. It's just another remake of RLS' classic novel with extreme artistic liberty taken in order to add a female "pirate" to the crew and really make it inane. Jim Hawkins is a bit older than the book had described and will probably not even attract the adolescent crowd. But what prompted this reviewer to post may become a future blooper trivia question. It was when Long John Silver (Lance) tells one of his crew that he would "put a bullet" in his head, and there is no way that a pirate would refer to a pistol ball as a bullet. I know, small detail but it makes this a B movie at best, and won't surprise this reviewer at all if it goes straight to DVD at release. It's a made for television movie if you don't care about accuracy. I feel it might just be an attempt to use the other BIG pirate movie popularity along with the title wording twist to leech some of the box office earnings. It was the worst movie of the year so far in MHO*. *my humble opinion.

all i can say is i fully expected the tavern wench/lady pirate to start removing all her clothes at every turn, as i have seen this caliber of acting before... in another genre. +++SPOILER+++ this is NOT a * movie! tho it would make more sense if it was. i was about to wager that Asylum Home Entertainment was a company trying to break in to mainstream producing, when i noticed comments elsewhere that it appears their M.O. is to 'piggy-back' blockbuster movies by releasing 'C' movies with similar titles. this certainly would explain this release. i know better now. watch this expecting a 0... and u will be pleasantly surprised with a 1 by the way... why hasn't the producer or the grips' mother written in the lead review yet? usually they get it in fairly fast.

Hard to write 1000 words for this B movie. The plot skips around a lot, and doesn't make much sense. Example, Ling Jhon Silver just killed his Captain in the jungle, Long Jhon becomes captain and the crew cheers, they hear a noise overhead and start running, then out of nowhere Long Jhon is on a mountain or something fighting some huge ant or something. And then the sets were so terrible, the cable of the ship looked like a church. The boat changed in every shot, it went from a galleon to a junk to a boom. The Boat they were on was like sparkling clean as was EVERY SINGLE pirates outfit, even the man who had been trapped on treasure island for ten years, must have found a laundry mat right? And the pirates teeth, oh wow they must have some great dentist on bored the 17th century pirate ship. The props where ugly and misplaced. A lot of stuff looks like it was ripped off pirates of the Caribbeans. The guy who played Long Jhon Silver though did a great job, but the others actor where garbage, there's this guy who french accent alone is enough to make this movie a comedy. For little kids its a good movie, but to be trueful just buy pirates of the Caribbeans and then you can watch the movie with them without throwing up. Sort of like the barney of pirate movies, only Barney has a plot line that makes sense

The best $14.86 I have ever spent. I am now the proud owner of one of the finest movies ever produced. If you are looking for the experience of a lifetime definitely check this flick out. Great special effects, amazing plot, script and so much more! And the music... I have been listening to the soundtrack ever since I watched the movie for the first time six months ago. (I have seen it 52 times since) In addition, the action scenes were the most fluid and well crafted I have ever seen. This movie is a "must see," you will be disappointed if you miss this one. In a nut shell, this movie was an Amish boys 17-year-old dream.

This is one of the stupidest movies I have ever seen, its not funny, plot is dumb, comparing to a pirates of the caribbean for example its really nothing. Well, I didn't like the music either, its annoying. Maybe I can say the story or the idea of the movie is not so bad by itself, but the realization is awful. The fights in the movie are done pretty naive, but there is one definitely good thing: it lasts 1 hour and 15 mins, so that is good, one cannot get bored so much, but that is too short for a movie, because the story is cut to a bunch of scenes which go one after another without cohesion, well thats my personal opinion. And it is not very violent after all, no way its a horror, far from that. Special effects are also done bad. I expected from a 2006 movie to have at least acceptable special effects if nothing else. All in all, it could definitely be a good movie for a 5 year old kid. But compared to other kids movies like spiderman, its not even close to them judging by the overall impression.

To begin I cant really say I am the best person to judge a movie from all directions and then I mean by acting, script, directing and so forth, but I can say when I see a bad movie and this is 1 of them. There are some actors in this movie I have often seen in other movies and do adore, and regret not seeing them in good movies for some time now - so I keep on waiting and hoping that maybe some day those actors will. But I am sure I would have liked the movie when I was a kid so maybe there is still hope for this movie for some age group but for those that are older then 14 or around that age and know the movie culture at some level will see those many flaws is this flick. I did not see all the movie but those few minutes of it that I saw was worth nothing more then telling me I should not see it all. I apologies for my English for there can be flaws in my spelling or that I put the words wrongly together :) PS: "The Asylum" produced this movie as well as "The Da Vinci Treasure" and I know that movie was as well bad so for "The Asylum" I am hoping that they are starting from the bottom and moving up or they have no hope of making a movie that all viewers like.

Ten lines minimum, eh. I'm not sure I can get ten lines worth of commentary on this one. The only thing that even makes sense as to how funding can be obtained for such a debacle is that it was intended to be a money losing project to bilk investors. (a la "The Producers" storyline) If that is indeed the intent (and it's probably painfully obvious to those in the know) then I have a suspicion that they may have succeeded. There oughta be a law. Of course, "Lance Henriksen", on the box sucked me in but in the future I won't be so easily duped. In the "buyer (renter) beware" category, the simple fact that the The Asylum logo was on the box should have should have served as an, "I told ya so." New rule: The Asylum = A nearly criminal waste of resources and time to create, view, and as I reflect, to even comment upon. Never again.

Pirates of Treasure Island