Picasso Trigger

source: Picasso Trigger

It's an average light entertainment action film with a lot of shooting and explosions. Some decent scenery, a generous helping of T&A. Not to mention ugly 80s hair and clothing styles. For about the first half it was getting on my nerves somewhat---it was just too mediocre, kind of bland---but then it somehow improved for me, becoming a slightly better movie in its second half. There is a plot twist that works fairly well. The film is nothing spectacular but it delivers enough entertainment that you might want to sit through it. It did feel like it was longer than its running time.

Let's just cut to the chase straight away here and say upfront that the only sane reason to watch an Andy Sidaris film is to see beautiful playmates get naked and shoot guns. What other reason is there? This one has a convoluted plot-line that I quite honestly can't be bothered to describe. What I will say is that the story is not exactly its strong point. Needless to say, as per Sidaris other films, there are a lot of explosions and a lot of feeble gadgets. But the action scenes are so lacklustre that you will be hard pressed to care. Honestly, when you consider the awesome bevy of beautiful babes that Sidaris improbably had at his disposal, you can't help but wish the films had a little more imagination or life about them. This one is neither one of his best, nor is it one of his worst but it's pretty much essentially the same as all of them. The only true differentiating factor that I can ever discern is which ladies do we have and is there a lot of nudity? All other aspects merge into one as far as his filmography is concerned. This one's chief selling point is Dona Speir, who is very nice indeed. And, yes, she strips off a few times, along with several of her other female co-stars. So, consequently, the film does have some entertainment value. Other than that, it has quite a good title.

This has to be one of the dumbest movies ever filmed, and if I give it a barely acceptable rating (six out of ten) it's more for the nostalgia with which I now remember it, rather than for its filmic qualities, which are almost non-existent. The only thing I remember, and for which I forgive his unfortunate scenes of action, is the presence of several Playboy bunnies, who with problems try to act and give life to one-dimensional characters. Seeing the film again, almost thirty years later, the only possible defense to such a mess is the presence of Donna (Dona Spier), Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton), Edy (Cynthia Brimhall) and Panther (Roberta Vasquez), but I imagine that it would be difficult for someone today to invest their money in bringing together a group of women as little equipped for the performance as those mentioned. The bad acting direction as much as film seems almost amateur. Even a graduate of a film school would achieve better results, but I suppose in the eighties testosterone or a group of breasts and hips could replace any gray matter. Actually, the movie would hardly qualify with a two out of ten.

Picasso Trigger, the third film in Andy Sidaris's Malibu Express series, is par for the course in terms of nudity and violence, with the obligatory big breasted babes disrobing at regular intervals to get fruity with the musclebound hunks, and lots of baddies being shot, blown up, or impaled. Luckily, this one proves to be slightly more entertaining than the last entry (Hard Ticket to Hawaii) thanks to Sidaris adopting a more deliberate Bond-style approach, one that comes complete with an international villain and silly gadgets (designed by 'Q'-alike boffin, The Professor) to go with the usual array of chase scenes, explosions and exotic locations. The plot (yes, there is a plot!) sees government agents Travis Abilene (Steve Bond), Jade (Harold Diamond), Donna (Dona Spier), Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton) and Edy (Cynthia Brimhall) joined by Paris operative Pantera (Roberta Vasquez) to bring to justice the gang who have been bumping off their colleagues. However, everything is not as it first seems, with Travis and Co. eventually discovering that they have been set up by bad guy Salazar AKA Picasso Trigger (John Aprea) to help him eliminate his competition. Picasso Trigger is no means a great film—Sidaris's direction still leaves a lot to be desired, the action scenes being far less thrilling than they are unintentionally amusing—but with plenty of sexy Playboy-standard babes getting naked, crap martial arts, a pointless sub-plot about snuff movies, crazy gimmicks such as an exploding boomerang (which would surely come back and blow YOU up?!?) and a rocket-launching crutch (programmed by pocket calculator), blatant product placement (even the local Hovercraft Hire company gets in on the action), and VERY LARGE CAPTIONS to let us know what day of the week it is, this is worth a go when you don't want to have to think very hard.

I have to agree with the previous comment, It was late and nothing else was on. I couldn't help but watch this horrible movie! It was unbelievably dated (which previously mentioned.. could not be helped) but MAN.. Was it horrible! It's like a car wreck. You know that you shouldn't watch but you cant help it! I live in Hawaii and this just makes me laugh! I love how the girls all try to be sexy and the soft core * is hysterical. What cracks me up the most is that they are saying that they are on Maui.. when they are really on Oahu. The wardrobing is also another comedic factor. But then again.. that can't be fixed. I have no idea what they were thinking when this waste of time was made!

Killing is an art form. That's what the Professor - returning from Sidaris' film Seven - says before giving our heroes a ton of weapons. They're gonna need them after double agent Picasso Trigger is assassinated in Paris by even more duplicitous big bad Miguel Ortiz (Rodrigo Obregon, who shows up in plenty more Andy Sidaris films). Now, he's after anyone who worked for the Agency in the wake of his brother's death. Sadly, there's no Cody or Rowdy Abeline around. Travis, another relative, appears. However, Donna (Dona Speir), Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton) and Edy (Cynthia Brimhall) are back, joined by November 1984 Playmate of the Month Roberta Vasquez as Pantera, Guich Koock as L.G. Abilene, Bruce Penhall from CHiPs as Hondo, Patty Duffek as Pattycakes and Kym Malin as Kym (hey, they can't all be crazy names). It's an Andy Sidaris film, so none of the good guys can shoot a gun to save their lives, there's a cane that shoots both shotgun and mortar rounds, exploding boomerangs and RC cars, as well as more showers than anyone has ever taken in 99 minutes. They don't make movies like this anymore. I'm not sure who else - other than probably me - wants to see James Bond-esque spy adventure with wacky gizmos while everyone is in Speedos and spandex. I know it's silly and yet I love this film as one does a childhood friend who has never grown up and moved out of their mother's house. Actually, more films today should look to be as entertaining as this. Plus, how great of a title is Picasso Trigger? It just begs you to watch whatever it is.

This is a typical low budget cheap special effects 1980's action movie

Andy Sidaris follows his usual formula with this mix of action, gorgeous scenery, and even more gorgeous women. The story deals with the title character, an international criminal played by handsome John Aprea. He's gunned down outside an art gallery by the goons of a crazed associate, Miguel Ortiz (Rodrigo Obregon). Then a team of government operatives, including Travis Abilene (amiable hunk Steve Bond), Donna (the delectable Dona Speir), and Taryn (lovely Hope Marie Carlton) spend their time trying to eliminate Ortiz and his henchmen. "Picasso Trigger" is fun, at least to a degree. It's never inspired, but it's reasonably rousing at times and even if the viewer is otherwise bored, they'll hopefully be preoccupied with ogling the female cast members. Naturally, they show off the goods when they get a chance. The acting is basically good enough for this sort of thing. The standout is veteran Aprea, who's a real smooth type. The gadgets designed by "Q" type character The Professor (Richard LePore) are cute, especially that killer crutch. The material is played with a degree of humour, with some choice bits of dialogue here and there. Things get a little annoying in the final minutes, with one "ending" after another, but the movie is overall a good little diversion. Six out of 10.

Just watching the credits for Sidaris' flicks reveals where he gets his cast. Everyone is from Playboy, Penthouse, or Playgirl. What the heck, everyone wants a chance to act. At least none of these folks gave Sidaris any headaches about doing * scenes! The movies are popcorn, not meant to be taken to seriously. Just sit back and watch a bunch of occassionally naked women and guys kill some nefarious bad guys.