Phat Beach

Phat Beach_720p(480P)

source: Phat Beach

By far one of the best small scale movies I have ever seen!! All the characters are downright hilarious, with some lovely locations and beautiful women. To top it off, the main character is actually someone with a little honor and self-respect, and, in the end, it's what gets him what he wants. So, if you haven't seen it, see it, cause it's PHAT!

Many people don't like this movie. To me, it's a classic. Sure, it spawned from the West Coast, and as we all know, everything comes from the West to the East, but this movie is an exception. Nineteen Ninety Six; the year Antichrist Superstar came out. Even though this is a very funny movie and some lines from it will be repeated for years, the wardrobe and music seems to be at least four years behind the original release date. At first viewing, you would think this film was released in 1991 or 1992 considering all the music and styles, but turn the DVD case over and you'll see 1996. I think this is the only exception that the East Coast was WAY ahead of the West Coast. Overall, a hilarious movie with lines you will repeat over and over again.

The year is 1996. Film as we know it is coming to a dead end. With mediocre outings such as Scream, Mission:Impossible and Trainspotting, cinema goers have lost faith in Hollywood and seek other pastimes, such as sandwich-making and witchcraft. On a rainy 1996 day, I went alone to the local cinema. Having to make my own popcorn (as it was no longer sold due to lack of demand), I entered the empty room, a tear rolling from my eye. To me, it seemed, this may be the last time I went to a cinema, heck, it could be the last time I saw a movie! What I saw in that very cinema astounded me as it does every generation to behold it to this day. "Phat Beach" was the phattest movie I had ever seen. It was phatter than phat. Despite Hollywood's best efforts, it has never been out-phatted, and never will in my eyes. Imagine Ferris Buellers day off meets Kenan and Kel and you are approaching a thousandth of what "Phat Beach" has to offer. Throw in Pulp Fiction and the Godfather series, and you have the first five minutes. What makes it so easy to relate to is the main character, Benny. Like many of us, he stays at home with his parents 10 years or so longer than he might like to, he weighs a few hundred pounds more than he might like and, yeah, he's left the small matter of having sex a bit late in hope of making his first time real special. But Benny don't care. He is a poet, a tortured soul who cares for nothing but his art. If you expect this movie to be funny, you are sorely mistaken. What "Phat Beach" achieves is far above mere fickle humour. Your emotions are taken for a a roller-coaster ride as you follow Benny's story. You share his loneliness, his feelings of betrayal and joy at discovering a hidden talent for volleyball. But "Phat Beach" does not make your emotions its play thing. For example, during the volleyball sequences, Benny rarely loses a point, meaning that there is no moment of doubt. Benny is phat, and thus should NEVER loose. We understand this, and therefore become absorbed by his world. So should you watch "Phat Beach". Do you enjoy seeing fat gentlemen in chef's hats? Are you Cooilio's biggest fan? Do you seek further meaning in this life we all lead? If the answer to all three questions is yes (and it damn well should be), you should buy at least three copies of "Phat Beach" within the next ten minutes. For me, "Phat Beach" is a masterpiece of cinema, and I therefore watch it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I recommend the DVD release including the trailer which, although essentially several random clips of the movie mixed together and interspersed with fades over several minutes, does shed a lot more of that light you've been yearning for on to this glorious movie.

one of the finest pieces of cinema of our time!!! It raves with comedy every single step of the way. with such famous qoutes as "nyan nyan". A must purchases for any one!!!

This is the epic tale of a overweight young man and his player buddy Darnell's trip to the beach, the Phat Beach! The fat boy steals his father's Benz and off they go, with visions of fat booties in their heads. Once they get there, Darnell is getting mo' booty than a bike seat and the fat man (whose name I can't remember, else I'd use it, I'm not trying to offend the overweight here) keeps getting rejected. He sees his dream girl and chases her as best as he can, but she is cruel to him. The film then begins to get pretty depressing with the fat man wandering around alone while Darnell keeps getting them ladies. There is something I like about this movie, and I honestly don't know what it is. Nothing really happens in it, it isn't very funny, there is little to no nudity, Coolio is in it for about three seconds, but I am always drawn back to it. About once a year I get a craving for Phat Beach. It takes all kinds, I guess. In Phat Beach related news: I gave this DVD to a friend for his birthday. His house was broken into on my birthday and a bunch of stuff was stolen, including this DVD. Bizarre.

Before "Phat Beach" (which was JFK's answer to Vietnam.), I was a loser. I was going to college to major in being a burger flipper. I was goin' nowheresville fast. But as soon as I saw "Phat Beach", I instantly knew that my life would never be the same. It inspired me to find true love by stealing my dad's car to find my dream woman. Like the movie, I was almost hit by a huge truck while sleeping right before I got to a Phat Beach. But, enough about me. The movie was excellent: great plot, great hot boxes, great actors, great kenny rogerz. The only thing that could be better would be Woody Allen and more hott black ladiez. I mean, Phat black ladies. I mean, Phat African Americans. I want to get the DVD, because I hear that there's cRaZy bloopers where Benny joins the navy and steals some car or some crap. But Coolio is in this movie, and I was very offended. I hate him so much. The only thing worse than his acting is his horrible, horrible music (which is, in some ways, Phat). If I were to sum this movie up in one statement, it would be, "gangbanging fun and 2fast2furious acting." If you liked that piece-of-crap movie, you'll probably hate Phat Beach, due to it being Phatter. This got a 3 on the PH scale. It was like acid. But the good kind. The Phat kind. The kind that you put on sores to get sick, sick pleasure. Like oranges. You can compare this movie to F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby. Benny was Gatsby, in the way that he was longing for his one true woman that he knew about, but could never obtain. Like Nick, his friend Direll or whatever that guy's name, he got the woman. And just like The Great Gatsby, everybody died in the end. Watching Phat Beach is also statistically proven to reduce the risk of heart cancer and HIV. PHAT BEACH RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

This is the worst movie ever made. The acting, the script, the location, everything! I would have given it a little chance if there were attractive women in the movie, but even they were bad. You would think that a movie with the word "beach" in it's title would have good-looking women in it. Wouldn't you?

Is nothing else on TV? Are you really bored? Well, then watch Phat Beach. However, don't rent it and definitely DO NOT buy it. That would be a big mistake. I watched this on TV and found myself laughing at certain points. I did not laugh long and I did not laugh hard. However, there were subtle jokes and comments I laughed at. If you are looking for an extremely funny "hood" movie then watch Friday. If you are looking for a powerful emotional movie (something that this movie tries at..kind of) watch something like hoop dreams or Jason's Lyric. If you are lookin for some good black "booty" go watch a Dominique Simone * flick, because the nudity in this movie is nearly non-existent. However, if you have nothing better to do and this is on cable, go ahead and watch it. You will be slightly amused. ***3 out of 10***