Nude Nuns with Big Guns

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Yep, 8, but you have to take it the right way. For starters - it IS excellently crafted. Beautiful shots of sunsets mixed in with the violence mixed in with the drugs give the whole thing a sense of surreal nightmare. That alone takes it out of the realms of trash into those of 'cult classic'. Secondly, it's not a * film even though there's a lot of nudity in it. It wasn't meant to be a * flick. POSSIBLE MILD SPOILER ALERT - What the men do to the girls is meant to make you feel a little dirty, a little ashamed, it's done to put you on the girls' side, so when the nun gets vengeance, you're cheering her on. I sure was! - END OF POSSIBLE MILD SPOILER The music starts off as one-guitar dodginess but gets better and better until it's almost Ennio Morricone standard. True, the Catholic Church isn't portrayed well but we know what the priests do to choirboys, we've yet to learn what they do to nuns so maybe, just maybe... And surrounding the whole movie is the ghosts of Clint Eastwood movies like a Fistful of Dollars. Somehow, it's got the same atmosphere. Except you've got a nun in the Clint Eastwood part. She's seeking revenge, just as Clint always did. And I found myself cheering her on all the way. Thing about the other reviewers here is they went into this movie with preconceptions and you can't do that with this one. Tons of nudity but is it a porno? Is any of it titillating? No - it isn't meant to be. POSSIBLE SPOILER COMING UP - Brutal sex scenes, for sure, but are they meant to turn you on? No, they're meant to make you feel sorry for the woman and hate the man who's doing it to her, so you're glad when the nun finds him. Priests selling drugs? That's clever - the cops would have to go through a lot of channels before they could strip-search a priest or gatecrash a Church! - END OF POSSIBLE SPOILER. Overall impression? IF you go into this movie with no preconceptions, with an open mind, you'll find a beautifully made film that everyone concerned absolutely put their hearts and souls into. Are they great actors? No - but they're all genuinely trying their hearts out and the director got the best possible performances out of all of them. Is the story good? It's a VERY twisted Spaghetti Western for the 21st Century. You'll not have seen anything else quite like it - which, for nowadays, is saying something. Did I enjoy it? I've watched it twice and I got more out of the second viewing than the first. It's honestly got subtle depths, if you open your mind enough to find them. If you're expecting a ton of titillating nudity and sex scenes to turn you on, go watch a different movie. If you want to see a film that makes you feel angry and sad at how men humiliate women, and glad when some of the men get what's coming to them, and has a beautiful, dark heart within it, give Nude Nuns with Big Guns an open-minded try. Jessica's right. It's a cult classic waiting to happen. Now if only I could find where to buy the soundtrack... (Just found it - it's a legit. free download on Dan Gross, the composer's, website. If you're into GOOD Spaghetti Western style film music, add this to your collection.) ulrichburke

Such a title draws attention to itself, and it was one that I couldn't resist. Such a title does also set the level of expectation, and I must admit that they weren't set too high beforehand. Despite that, I was disappointed. It started out bad, and just got worse. Not that there is much to do with a plot based upon an abused nun that vows revenge upon the drug and sex trafficking cartel that works out of churches and monasteries. To my surprise the movie took and used the title literally. Well, the first part anyway. There was a lot of, mostly unmotivated, nudity. There was less big guns, and too little tempo and action. To put it shortly, it got repetitive, and boring. The best part of the movie was the title, and now you have seen that, avoid the movie. 2/10

When I first heard of the movie "Nude Nuns with Big Guns", I thought for a second is was a Adult Movie. But after I watched it, I realized that it's not a bad movie at all. The movie has a similar look and feel to the "Grindhouse" Films, and like the Grindhouse films, it's not meant to be taken seriously. Granted, the storyline is a little weak, but its enough to hold your interest from start to finish. Spoiler: What I think puts most people off of this film is that is does have * nuns, and it does make a lot of tongue-in-cheek fun of the Christian church, but that really doesn't hurt the movie too much. All in all, this movie is worth a viewing, and if you are offended easily by these kind of movies, then don't watch this one.

One word of caution before you watch this movie," don't even think of watching this movie to lighten up your mood". the title of the movie might sound a bit appealing but the movie isn't. Now coming directly to the point, the movie is based on a sister who happens to hear from God (when she was high on drugs after having beaten to "almost death" situation by a brother) to kill everyone who has done bad things against her(don't know if God would ever ask someone to carry on their personal agenda). So she goes on a rampage killing every bad guy, while she took only two gun shots during the whole movie. The bottom line, if you are looking for * women and sex i would suggest * compared to this. but if your taste is of a kinkier side with religious matters getting involved, i suggest you watch this. for a normal movie viewer, STAY OFF!!!

Full of enough eye candy to make any adolescent boy's (or girl's) sex drive go full throttle, the film finds a drug cartel run by a sinister church who see fit to reducing their ordained sisterhood to nothing more than a nudist colony of cheap labor chemists. As the story opens we are introduced to some of the main players in a dope exchange gone horribly wrong. The lone (innocent) survivor is our heroine, Sister Sarah (Asun Ortega), who is subsequently thrown into forced prostitution by the bikers and drugged out of her mind as she "services" the customers. As fate would have it, however, a kind-hearted doctor (I use that term loosely) named Mr. Foo (Maxie J. Santillan Jr.) releases Sarah from her bondage and flushes out all the drugs from her system. Upon awakening, Sister Sarah reveals that she has received the "word of God" which has entrusted her with dishing out some divine justice on those who did her wrong. Foo then proceeds to arm are with a pair of silver pistols to help her on her mission only to have Sarah put a bullet through his noggin (not cool, man). Thus begins our heroine's journey of hate-fueled revenge served cold and hard with the most translucent metaphor for phallic aggression a lesbian nun can holster. Though short lived, Mr. Foo is a pretty cool character- equal parts Yoda and Tommy Chong, Foo exudes a hipster charm that helps balance the darker elements of the story. Unfortunately, what follows after his demise is bleak mess of * and talking (plus more *), with very little scenes of heavenly justice doled out and nowhere did I ever really see any "big guns" (with great exception to scary ass Xango Henry as Kickstand, a Dulé Hill (Psych) look-a-like). When the biggest threat of a film is a black man's genitals as he violates elderly nuns, there's not much else that needs to be said. In the end, as much as I wanted to like a film with a name as cool as Nude Nuns with Guns it simply didn't push any one boundary far enough. In fact, I couldn't help but think that this was really lost footage from Machete, given the overall borderland motif and bad-ass, Mexican bikers. It even goes so far as to riff on Rodriguez's Planet Terror theme from the Rodriguez/Tarantino Grindhouse double feature. Yes, there are nuns and they're (generally) *. Yes, there's softcore rape and bullets to the head. However, a lack of any real action will likely see you walking away limp from this peep show long before the credits ever role.

I do not recall seeing a movie that was worse than this one. 1 hour and 22 minutes of utter crap. I it unbelievable how a group of people can say "hm, OK, we have this idea, it's kinda good, but we don't really have more than 5 minutes of story, so let's just have a lot of nudity involved" - or how on earth they did it. (..honestly, a * movie with a plot is better than this - and that says it all!) I am WARNING YOU! Do NOT waste your time with this movie - it's the worst pile of crap I've seen. I would not recommend this to anyone - and I sincerely hope that after reading this review that you will decide not to waste your time with this movie.