Muscle Beach Party

source: Muscle Beach Party

Just began watching as a goof, was expecting to lose interest. But ended up being well entertained by the goofy surfer tomfoolery, Italian muscle-man star. the Contessa was well played. Anette was disappointing but Frankie was in good form. The appearance of Stevie wonder singing "clap your hands" sealed the deal. Don Rickles is always a cool presence. And there was even a surprise appearance of Peter Lorre at the end. Of course I ended up fast forwarding through several boring musical numbers but having the power to ignore the boring parts gave the rest of the movie high praise from me for being pretty entertaining. Peace

No one sits down (or should sit down) to a Beach Party film expecting anything high-brow or even challenging. These are the epitome of fluff, corniness and escapism. Title credits play out over a kooky, mildly amusing drawing of various caricatures soaking up the sun and sand then the stars of the film (Avalon and Funicello) and their cronies are shown en route to the beach. Immediately, it's clear how times have changed as the teens are crammed into old-time convertibles with more than a few of the kids hanging onto the sides or backs of the vehicles with nary a seatbelt in sight! Without even stopping off to the bathroom to brush their teeth, the kids set up their patchwork of sleeping bags on the floor of the hacienda (with a couple of hanging blankets separating the girls from the boys!) As the gaggle of kids begins to surf and sun themselves into heaven, a parade of beefy, tan, oily bodybuilders comes out to strut their stuff. When the coach (Rickles) steps on one of the beach bums' towels, a rivalry is kicked off with one of the teens (Ashley) unwillingly providing the demarcation line of the beach with his behind! From a fancy yacht anchored offshore, heiress Paluzzi sets her sights on the most prime slab of body-building beef (Lupus) and enlists her helper (Hackett) to secure him for her. Before she can even recover from an evening in the considerable arms of Lupus, however, she's already moved on to scrawny, but cute Avalon, much to Funicello's dismay. From here, things get increasingly complicated (and silly) as the film builds to an all-out fracas at Amsterdam's night club. Naturally, it all works out in the end with everyone winding up happy. Interspersed with the shenanigans are several musical numbers, some better than others. Various songs come out of people's mouths while their sitting on the wide open beach, yet they sound like they were recorded in the bottom of a steel barrel. Avalon is as tan and boyishly handsome as ever, even if his character can sometimes be a real lout. Funicello has a few amusingly indignant moments as she lays into Paluzzi for stealing her man. Oh, and her hair moves once or twice during the course of the film, too. Paluzzi (at about the 12 minute mark on her 15 minutes of fame) gets to wear a few fun 60's get-ups and tries to inject a little feeling into her man-eating role. Fans of Rickles and Hackett may derive some pleasure out of seeing them in action. Rickles seems to get more opportunities to mug here than Hackett. There's a lot of eye candy for both men and women. Lupus and his muscular friends are often seen in TIGHT satin shorts and Ashley is always cute. Funicello wears a mesh two piece that shows why IL' Walt Disney was nervous to let her be seen in a bikini. No one anywhere, ever, danced like Johnson. She goes bananas in a couple of fringed outfits. The camera lingers occasionally on some healthy, nubile young bodies in motion. These films can provide some real surprises now that a little time has passed. For one thing, everyone assumes that these flicks are squeaky clean, and they are, but Avalon is shown smoking (Smoking!) Also, the lily white cast really tears into Paluzzi with all sorts of slurs towards her Italian background, continuously referring to pasta and pizza where she's concerned. Then there's the ungodly product placement, which many people feel is a more modern hazard of the cinema. Every other frame has someone drinking or standing next to Dr. Pepper! As for the music, Wonder does an admirable job in his first film appearance, but everything that comes out of Dale's mouth is worthless. He can't sing and has no charisma at all. Future celebs Nader and Haggarty can be glimpsed in the beach and bodybuilder scenes, respectively. Lorre had intended to appear in the next Beach Party sequel but died before he could do so.

A tidal wave of a surprise here: Director William Asher, on hiatus from the television show "Bewitched," delivers a tightly packed surf romp. Very interesting twist: "Little" Stevie Wonder appears and sings two songs, one with surf-guitar guru, Dick Dale--and his Dell Tones. Cowabonga. And that's not all. Frankie Avalon is the hero and he smokes. And it's pot! (Watch closely for this.) Groovy. He also sings and swings with a bevy of beauties in Morey Amsterdam's coffee house. But the biggest surprise for me was the performance by Buddy Hackett. Controlled. Sympathetic. How many times have you left the living room screaming after viewing Hackett, sometimes wearing a god awful-looking Neru jacket and maybe appearing on "Hollywood Squares" or the "Tonight Show, talking some totally incomprehensible nonsense that he thinks is funny? Plenty. But here he plays his role straight and it pays off. And in spades, too. Wannabe Bond Girl Lucianna Paluzzi, always underrated in my opinion, is superb as the spoiled "Contessa." She nails the tiresome, hoary part with an effusive zest for life. Down on the beach, the enemy is massing for battle. The muscle men have a cranky leader in Don Rickles. He is clever and devious, but the strong men fall squarely into the "knucklehead" category. Strangely, one fellow resembles Kevin James from "King of Queens" on the boob tube. Donna Loren, always a joy and no relation to Sophia, wails the title tune. She has a soulful sound and a much better "clause" in her contract than superstar Annette Funichello. How else could you explain the fact that Loren doesn't have to sport a swimsuit? Funichello has to model a sexy, white mesh-bikini. So enjoy the sun and music. And away we go all you surfers and beach bunnies. Surf's up!

Let me start by saying that I do love the 'beach party' genre, brief as it was. Honestly though, I prefer the later films, featuring Deborah Walley and Tommy Kirk, and Muscle Beach Party is one that really shows the clumsiness of the earlier entries in the series. Beach Party wasn't that great, but it was a lot better than Muscle Beach Party manages; the first film had a pretty winning group brought together and kept things light, but Muscle inexplicably removes von Zipper and his bikers, substituting musclemen instead who, for a filmsy reason, are enemies to the surfers. Except only a small group of them. You have Don Rickles looking like he doesn't know what he's doing there, Candy Johnson who saves the day with her energetic dancing (but AIP were too cheap to spring for a speaking part, which makes her seem affected), and a Peter Lupus very new to acting. The Del-Tones have a unique part as a band that actually lingers, instead of popping up for a single number and never being seen again, and the lead has a speaking role. Shame they couldn't spring for one for Candy. Then you have Frankie and Annette, playing Frankie and Dee-Dee again. But you have to wonder why Dee-Dee even came to the beach; she's such a wet blanket, there's literally no way anyone would stay with her. The script fails both leads and makes fickle Julie seem like the most compelling and fun member of the cast, which of course is disappointing since she gets treated the worst. Frankie reflects a passion perhaps a bit naive but respectable enough, and Dee-Dee fails to support him, then sings a song about how a boy needs a girl whom she fails to realise is exactly what she isn't. The rest of the gang aren't any better, and whenever they interact with the two, it smacks of 'because the script said so', as none of them are allowed to have even the slightest personality that they showed in most all of the other films. Muscle tries to get serious and ends up depressing, because it does that right when it shouldn't and ends up ruining the lighthearted feel and the jokes that tried to follow the attempts at seriousness. The jokes aren't really all that funny though, especially in comparison to the other films in the series, and overall there are just too many clumsy scenes that go on for far too long and make almost everyone involved look terrible. The only characters who give any joy at all are Candy, with her exuberant (though curiously silent) dancing and Peter Lorre, who is a pleasure to see even in the microscopic cameo he's given. If you really feel you have to see all of the beach party films, this is definitely not where to start. Turn it on and tune out, because nothing amounts to anything -- while that may be true of the other films too, they're at least a fun ride. This one, like the prolonged fight sequence that brings it to its end, simply overstays its welcome and doesn't seem to have an idea that it's lingering awkwardly and in a way that isn't very entertaining.

This has to be the weakest entry in the entire series. Even though the muscle heads make great adversaries for our favorite beach bums they aren't as interesting as Eric Von Zipper and his gang, the Rats. The main story has been done a thousand times in many other pictures. Also, the music in this film isn't as good as it was. Dick Dale's scenes are a waste and the rest of the songs are just filler. One saving grace for this film is Don Rickles. He really is the one saving grace of this film. To me the next two films in the series, "Bikini Beach" and "Beach Blanket Bingo", were much better than this one. However, this film isn't as bad as the final Avalon/Funicello film in the series, "How to Stuff a Wild Bikini".

Maybe it's for the obvious reason - no Eric Von Zipper and his Rats and Mice, with the strange substitution of bodybuilders as the bad guys - but I think of this one as a slight step down from the others. (At least it had Alberta Nelson, in a different part.) Until reading the listing here, I never recognized Dan Haggerty, without the long hair and beard. I did recognize the bodybuilder named Larry Scott, thanks to countless comic book ads. This movie had Luciana Paluzzi as the heiress who collects men - the only small problem for me is that, I've always typecast that actress as a "femme fatale" of the physically dangerous kind (instead of that kind), because of the Bond movie Thunderball. One strange thing is that the Delores character hurls some mild anti-Italian remarks at that character - I know I'm talking about "Delores", not "Annette", but it's still strange to hear those lines from someone named Funicello. And of course this one goes for just a little seriousness, unlike the others - "Frankie" as a kept man! Maybe the best one-time character was Buddy Hackett's. And I couldn't say enough about Don Rickles, in any role.

Despite it's title, "Muscle Beach Party" is a pretty weak entry in Beach Party series. This time around, Frankie, Annette and the gang battle with a group of Muscle men led by their trainer, Don Rickles. All the while, an Italian Countess is trying to steal Frankie from Annette. Unlike the others in the series, "Muscle Beach Party" seems to have an overall negative tone. Every character seems angry at somebody. Most of the film's good moments belong to Buddy Hackett. Harvey Lembeck as Eric Von Zipper isn't around this time and he is missed.

There's a lot of reasons this is my favorite beach party film: Don Rickles, John Ashley, Buddy Hackett, Dick Dale, Morey Amsterdam -- all the best elements are here. Add into that a bizarre cameo by horror legend Peter Lorre, who plays an aryan superman (???), and you have quite a mix! Good, clean fun, suitable for anyone, and suitably strange for a modern party. I'm a big sucker for Don Rickles' comedy, so maybe that's why I like this one so much, but it's even zanier than "Beach Party", so only "Beach Blanket Bingo" comes close for me in this series.

This Beach movie actually tells a story, asking the question - would Frankie be happier surfing all over the world as the singing protégé of a rich woman who wasn't Dee-Dee? But don't worry - it's conveyed in short snatches of hipster-y dialog ("Solid-gold surf boards don't float too well!") between songs, hijinx, and some well-edited surfing footage. Enjoy the "leisurely" pace - footage of the kids' cars arriving at the beach, establishing shots of the beach at night, even the kids settling in for a night of sleeping and no hanky-panky... (Frankie doesn't believe it, either.) Annette gets another good slow song - which, unfortunately, Frankie also decides to sing later on. Frankie's fast song is better,and Stevie Wonder sings a joyful "Happy Street". (And then sings it again in the closing credits.) I just wish Dick Dale had done a guitar solo instead of singing.. Buddy Hackett is a lot of fun, but also gets a poignant point-making monologue at the end. Peter Lorre does one of the better end-of-the-movie cameos as "the Boss," and there's the usual turns by Don Rickles and Morey Amsterdam. For the ladies, there's a line of genuine California beach muscle-men, including future "Grizzly Adams" star Dan Haggerty. (He jiggles his chest muscles and whistles!) And I think Annette is actually wearing a two-piece!