Moonfall

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Moon fall

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My apologies to The Critic and his classic line; but the shoe fits. The marketing of this film was far superior to the actual final product itself. So kudos to the advertising team. After that, however, it is more like falling off Mt Everest than a moonfall. The Valley Girl space cadets have lovely make-up, mascara, and beautiful long hair. However, they are as close to being astronauts as I am to the Presidency. The Van Gogh bearded General is the funniest character of the lot. There is no such thing in the military, and this guy was about as convincing as a general as my brother Mark, who is as a comic book store manager. The dialog ranged from severely jargonistic to as hackneyed as one can get. This was even worse and more boring than Marooned, a horrendous sci-fi film from the late sixties. The film is, however, a good alternative to a sedative, as if it doen't put you to sleep in 20 minutes, then the drugs won't work as well.

This film is feels like a parody of other Roland Emmerich. It honestly feels like Roland Emmerich saw F9 (2021) & he made this film just to say, You people think that F9 was a stupid film, you thought that was stupid crap, well guess what I'm going to make something even more stupid." This was 2-hours of stupidity that I chose to fast forward a lo t of the film just to shorter my suffering. Overall, Moonfall (2022) is an abysmal film & it's easily Roland Emmerich's 2nd worst film behind Godzilla (1998).

I really can't express how much I hated this film. I went in with my brain turned off, expecting a dumb fun disaster film with some crazy fun set pieces. Instead the first hour was a dour slog with uninteresting characters, while the second half was utterly insane (in a bad way). The film's premise is simple. The moon is falling, can Earth surivive? But instead the film decides is going to try to offer a cerebral and complex backstory to the moon for some reason. In a 10 minute exposition dumb, Patrick Wilson learns that humans actually originated from a halo ring, but then ai rose up and took over nanoparticles to kill humans, so the humans made 1000 moons and flew them to different parts of the galaxy??? What? This plot twist is so dumb, immediatley after it happens, Wilson has to re-explain what he just learned to the other characters (and the audience who is clearly baffled). Meanwhile, there's a super dull survival plot on Earth with characters you don't care about. There's one mildly entertaining car chase which lasts 2 minutes tops. I can't describe how bad this film is. The only thing I liked were the cool cgi shots of the moon plummeting to earth and the asteroids. AVOID.

It may seem far too early in the year to be claiming such things but it's going to take something truly special (seriously random) for my personal favorite final scene of the year to be anything but Moonfall's need to be seen effort. Without dwelling on that for any longer or entering in spoiler territory overload, it's onto the important matter at hand of exploring Roland Emmerich's latest city/landmark destroying blockbuster. To describe Moonfall as ludicrous, preposterous and utterly bonkers would be underselling just how out there Emmerich's big, dumb and even sometimes fun new film is, as while you may be expecting a typical astronauts and the government save the world from a hurtling towards the Earth Moon type of film, Moonfall goes to many an unexpected place that must surely make it a genuine contender for what will be one of 2022's most bizarre blockbusters. A director who has well and truly given up being anything his not, Emmerich's latest effort is very much cut from the same cloth as his most renowned blockbusters such as Independence Day, Godzilla, The Day After Tomorrow and 2012 and for anyone expecting any type of nuance to be present in Moonfall you're heading for a rude shock, as the films daft script, B-grade worthy performances and pointless/ridiculous plot points and characters litter almost every scene of the films two hour plus runtime. Thankfully it appears as though Emmerich and his cast that includes the paycheck collecting duo of Halle Berry and Patrick Wilson as NASA employees Jocinda Fowl and Brian Harper, Game of Thrones John Bradley as wannabe doctor and mathematician wizz KC Houseman and a few why even bother appearances from Michael Pena and Donald Sutherland all were on the same page with Moonfall's insane premise, meaning that there is fun to be had from watching Catwoman, Ed Warren and Samwell Tarley head to the moon to save humankind, especially as the films unexpected late acts take hold. If you as a viewer fail to get on the same wavelength as the film from the early stages its likely Emmerich's unrefined, loud and CGI infested event will quickly become a film that is hard too sit through, as there's little reason to recommend this film in such a content heavy time for films of all shapes and sizes but there's an argument to be made that these type of daft but knowingly so films have a time and place in our marketplace, despite there being no reason for it to exist outside of mindless entertainment. Final Say - One of Roland Emmerich's most out there carnage-filled blockbusters yet full of cringe and head scratching moments, Moonfall is even more crazy than one might've expected but provides the exact type of experience one would expect from a filmmaker that has long since passed the time where he tried to be anything that his not. 2 Fuzz Aldrin's out of 5 For more reviews check out Jordan and Eddie (The Movie Guys)