Merlin: The Return

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source: Merlin: The Return

source: Merlin: The Return

Yes, they brought to us the Little Unicorn about a full sized unicorn that children must free, the Fairy King Of Ar about kids trying to help their dad by releasing fairies and the Apprentice about a kid learning from Merlin...well, we get Merlin again and this time the kids seem almost like an unnecessary add on. Literally no point in them being in this other than padding the run time which is blessedly short as this film is just a bit of a jumbled mess. The story, heck, what story? I mean, the scrawl before the movie has more story in it than the actual film. Some evil wizard is trapped in another realm thanks to Merlin, Arthur is asleep but wakes up and they must stop the wizard while a blond kid meets a girl and decides not to use a kill beam on Merlin and so he is knighted even though he did not really do anything at all... This could of been good if you had ditched the whole kid angle in the film and focused on the other realm and added a few touches of what a sword and sorcery film really needs! Blood and nudity! Instead, they try to make it a kid's movie, but at times there are things that would be a bit too much for the kids of today. Me, I would have been bored of this as a kid as I am now, I literally watched The Sword and the Sorcerer when I was like 6 or 7, now that is what I expect! So, what we get here is another film from the studio that seems to like movies with that blond kid. They did not seem to use the same house this time at least. We get some actors and actresses of note as Tia Carrea is in it! You know her? Well maybe you don't, as she only had a career thanks to Mike Myers having a fascination with her. You also get Adrian Paul! Though I did not know it was him for awhile then it clicked and I had to wonder why he was acting so much like a dunce. Anyways, pretty much like every film from that company in that they all feel unreal, like they were made in another dimension or something...

but coming close to it. This film has possibly on of the worst, and slowest, sword fights in the history of cinema. It was that bad, it looked as though the editor had used footage of a dress rehearsal, instead of the real scene. Add to this appalling accents, dodgy over the top acting, and cheap sets that looked like early Dr Who/ sixties Star Trek. If you're an adult watch John Boormans "Excalibur". If you have kids watch the Sam Neil mini-series. But avoid this at all costs.

.....What with his accident, Guest House Paradiso, and this, it was a low point for the funny,an, and after this, the only way was up. The dark forces of Mordred are pitted against the mythical sorcery of Merlin. Mordred and his mother Morgana have been imprisoned in another world for the past 1500 years while Merlin's magical powers kept them at bay. However, in the present, a scientist accidentally finds the gateway to the other world and is about to release Mordred into 20th Century life. Arthur is reawakened from his slumber and together with Merlin, tries to find a way to stop Mordred from re-entering this world..... To say the film is bad would be an understatement. I have seen some turkeys in my time, but this is below the children's film foundation standards, and seeing the likes of Bergin, Mayall, and even Sheffer, utter an inane script and perform against horrible CGI skeletons. But that's not the bad part, the child actors are skull scraping lay bad, and Tia Carrere, once brilliant in Wayne's World and True Lies, is the pits, the absolute pits. But for such a dog of a movie, it must have mystical powers, because I couldn't take my eyes off screen for a second. On the plus side, it's the best Stonehenge based movie featuring Merlin in the present ever made. I will give it that.

All right, it's silly, and a little bit lame - but this film is entertaining... The sight of Mordred's soldiers, going through the rift as skeletal ghosts is genuinely freaky - but fun. The friendship between the children was a little bit sudden, but nice - and there was genuine suspense, and as is to be expected with Rik Mayall as Merlin, the film is funny. I found it genuinely entertaining. It was great to see so many women in important action-filled roles, and Tia Carrera's villainous woman scientist was a convincing portrayal. Craig Sheffer's scenery-chewing is great - he obviously had a wild time making this film, and there are elements of comedy in his over-the-top portrayal of Mordred. In some ways, the film seems to be trying to achieve contradictory aims - comedy and horror and they don't seem too well-melded. Yet, I still consider this a good evening's entertainment.

Nearly a laugh a minute, and some were probably intentional. The performance of Adrian Paul as Lancelot caused giggles every time he spoke, and a less regal Arthur I cannot imagine. If you give this film any thought it fell apart even more thoroughly than on a total suspension of disbelief. Only Rik Mayall seemed to have got the joke. My 9 year old boy loved it but even he thought that it was totally unbelievable!

I hadn't ever heard of this movie until I ran across it on cable this evening, and seeing Rik Mayall's name in it, I figured I'd check it out, being a fan of "The Young Ones" from way back. Well obviously he's a young one no longer, but he does a enthusiastic turn as Merlin in this unfortunate mish-mash of I-don't-know-what. Was this really Patrick Bergin, Tia Carrere, Craig Sheffer (oh what happened to the days of "A River Runs Through It"?)? Throw in a little Stonehenge mythology, Arthurian legend, special effects that look like they flew out of "Ghostbusters" and this could have been a LOT better movie. Bad things happen to good actors, and this movie is proof. Discombobulated plot, confusion abounds, and I kept hoping Elizabeth from "Drop Dead Fred" would pop up and say the magic words and make it all go back in the jack-in-the-box. Craig Sheffer is in no way, shape or form cut out to be this creepy time traveler, he's a great actor and what in the world made him do this movie is beyond me. Patrick Bergin doesn't really have that much enthusiasm either. Mayall does seem to be the most inclined to try his best, so I'd give this a 5 out of 10.

This movie is a parody, right ??? There is no other way to describe it. It's either a parody or a fiasco. Merlin should be regal like Dumbledore in the Harry Potter movies, not the village idiot. King Arthur is a wimp and please don't start me on Mordred. Adrian Paul as Lancelot (one of the two main reasons I bothered to watch this movie) looks like someone who doesn't know what the hell he is doing there, but decided that "if I'm stuck here at least lets have some fun". He is having fun and in the few scenes he is in, Mr. Paul can hardly keep straight face. This movie is a must miss movie, especially if you are a "King Arthur and the round table" tales buff.