Merlin and the Book of Beasts

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I think they tried to make Merlin look like Jesus in this movie in hopes of redeeming their own souls for creating something so beautiful and terribly foul. I have composed a small list of why you should/should not watch this film. Who am I to say what tickles your fancy 1. The most ridiculous writing/acting paired with epically dramatic music to really push it to a level of nonsensicalness I wasn't sure could be possible. 2. Merlin sounds like someone who has inhaled a lot of exhaust fumes and looks like Jesus. His acting in this movie reminded me of the heartfelt and emotional acting Arnold did in Terminator. 3. The princess receives the legendary Excalibur sword not from the Lady in the Lake…but from the sword in the stone in the middle of lake After battling a clone of herself. Huh…? (It was a very Zelda: Ocarina of Time moment) Finally the director had a shimmer of hope - a decent looking girl in the middle of lake, wearing a white shirt battling her clone in hand-to-hand combat. That's how memories are made! Hormone driven teens everywhere were on the edges of their seats with their fingers poised over the pause button. But no joy on that one…fail. 4. FLY…FLY…FLYYYYYY!!!!! (When you see this, think Fear and Loathing and I believe you will enjoy that insane close up of our diabolical villains face) And what did he summon from the evil depths of hell?! BLACK Dragons?! Demon HELL bats?! Those creeper wraith guys from Harry Potter?! No, instead he summons Eagles…EAGLES! PUHLEEASSEEE!!! Everyone knows eagles are not for bad guys to use. I will give you two reasons why; first of all, Gandalf uses eagles in Lord of the Rings and obviously he was a good guy. Secondly, America. If you are a bad guy and you try to use and eagle for gain, as soon as you summon it, it will find an American flag, burst through it and rip your face off. I've seen it a million times. 5. Try to think of something that wouldn't belong in a movie about Merlin and the Knight of the Round. Did you think of gorgons? You know, Medusa? Well if you did good on you, if you didn't welcome to the club. If you enjoy suffering through B-Movies as much as I do, then sit on down and kiss a piece of your life goodbye. If however, you were hoping to see a really good movie about Merlin then you should steer clear.

I seriously disagree with the other review. I honestly suspected this movie was going to be bad before I got into it, so I wasn't expecting much to begin with. That being said, They talked too damn much and did too damn little. There were very few action scenes and those that were were pretty lame and didn't seem well thought-out. It was a classic sci-fi channel movie, completely lacking in real plot development or ability to draw in the audience. I enjoy sci-fi movies a lot, but only if they aren't garbage. I have watched a lot of garbage, and a lot of fairly good sci-fi movies, including Lord of the Rings and Star Wars of course. I have also watched and loved the Star Trek TV show and movies. I honestly have to say that I would prefer to watch In The Name Of The King, and that movie was terrible. The problem with this movie is that it was boring and did not engage the audience in the least. There was too much talking, especially with big fantasy words that were unnecessary aplenty. It almost seemed as if it was trying too hard. I would rather watch a Dungeons and Dragons movie, because at least they do enough to keep me involved.

After watching this cinematic masterpiece, I couldn't understand why this wasn't released as a feature film. James Callis (of CSI fame) delivers the performance of a lifetime as he brings the fabled Merlin to life. Unlike other reviewers, I found his accent authentic and his drugged appearance reminiscent of the stories of old. The only reason I rated this movie a 9 (and keep in mind, I have exceedingly high standards), is that in one scene it appears that a bird is not carrying anyone, yet they all appear at the sorcerer's palace. Aside from this blunder, no doubt caused by their rush to send this to our screens, it was impeccable. As an aside, I thought that Laura Harris never looked better, but I will accept arguments for "A Mighty Wind" (2003). Her latent love for Lancelot provides a bubbly subtext for this brilliant work.

I can say that I saw all absolutely all the movies on the genre, Merlin is one of my beloved characters and this guy James Callis -who is not that bad in Battlestar- is the worst Merlin that I ever saw, I mean it. His accent is so horrible, not enough old, not enough wise, terrible. The blood in the movie looks like grasp berry juice. There are some scenes so slow and useless like the one in the fountain. What the heck is doing Medusa in UK? Excalibur is not any sword is "The Sword" and it looks like any sword. What the heck happened in the eagles scene? The rest of the movie is like a big chapter of Xena or Hercules, not that bad.