Memorial Valley Massacre

**SPOILERS** The movie "Memorial Valley Massacre" tries to be different from your average run of the mill killer on the loose films and in a way it succeeded it what it set out to do. The villain in the film a clean shaven cave boy,John Caso, does kill more then half the cast in the movie by the time its over but at the same time you can't hold it against him for what he does. The cave boy we later find out was abandoned by his father and never had a normal childhood. This instilled a deep resentment in the boy for the human race whom he held, together with his dad, responsible for the predicament that he finds himself in: Living in a cave and living off the scraps of tourists who vacation in the valley. All this killing and destruction would not have happened if it wasn't for real-estate tycoon Allen Sangster, Cameron Mitchell, deciding to build a campground in the valley that the cave boy dwelled in. With dozens of campers in the area the cave boy just went wild, in his hatred for civilized man, going on a rampage killing some dozen of them by the time the movie was over. We have to understand the cave boys frame of mind in what he did. Feeling that the campers represented his father the cave boy took it out on them for what his dad did to him by leaving him out in the woods to fend for himself at an early age. Besides the interesting and deep psychological aspects, father and son relationship,of the film the rest of the movie was just too hard to take seriously even if you tried. The cave boy not only survived in the wild for some 17 years he also somehow learned how to drive heavy earth moving equipment, like bulldozers, and how to start fires. Not by rubbing two rocks or sticks together but by releasing gas from a gas-tank and then having the unsuspecting victim light a match blowing himself, and anyone within 50 feet of him, to pieces. The cave boy at first has the local park ranger George Webster, John Kerry, feel that it's a killer bear that's doing all the killing in and around the "Memorial Valley" campground. Together with his assistant Allen Sangster's son David, Mark Mears, Webster sets out to track down the killer bear before he does any more damage. Later when two of the campers bikers Eddie & Leon, Eddie D. & Don S.Fambeau, helping in tracking down the bear instead find the cave boy's home, with scores of human body parts and bones in it, thing really start to get unraveled. The cave boy feeling he's the victim of a home invasion loses it. Mad at what Eddie and Leon did, in stealing his prized skull, the cave boy comes out in the open killing everyone, including Eddie & Leon, that he comes in contact with. The movie ends on a high note, of sorts, with the cave boy finally finding his old man who in fact, instead of abandoning him, was searching for the confused young man all these years. ****SPOILER ALERT**** The heart-breaking ending has the cave boy, in his efforts to keep people from finding his secret lair, unwittingly do in his old man. All this happens when father and son were about to reunite, after some 17 years, and forget about the past.

From a horror standpoint, "Memorial Valley Massacre" is a worthless slasher that no serious horror fan should bother with. What saves it from being a total bomb is the tongue-in-cheek approach of the filmmakers, at least in the first half. For example, early on a man says "We've got a problem with the water" (the movie is set on a camp) and proceeds to pull a dead dog out of the well! Hilarious! Then Cameron Mitchell (who appears for about 2 minutes as an investor; did he actually get paid for this?) asks: "Screw the dog, is the water fit to drink?" (!!!). The film also includes the following exchange: "Are you the head ranger here?" - "Well, I'm the only ranger here, so I guess you can say I'm the head one". Oh, and the primitive kid who has lived all his life away from civilization, apparently knows how to create a gas explosion. (*1/2)

If we are going to stack movies against each other, this is the best I can do. I don't know if this the biggest wastes of time I've ever used, but it ranks up there. We have a pack of rednecks and "bad kids" staying at a dumb looking campground. Running around is a guy who apparently knows how to make clothes out of animal skins, but can't help breaking the necks and backs of the campers. The principle characters are campy and stupid, as are the people running the camp. It's just that there is no effort to make things even remotely interesting. There is a wet t-shirt, some biker talk, and some kids harrassing the stupidist looking people on the face of the earth. I knew I was in trouble when the title came on from the right. As if someone had an overhead projecter and put it over the film, already in progress. Sometimes I have fun with these silly rip off movies. This one was just horrible.

This completely obscure slasher flick is pretty good.It's funny,violent and easy to follow.The acting ranks from acceptable to downright awful,and this Tarzan-like killer is really stupid looking.The plot:A killer is preying on tourists in new opened Memorial Valley.Don't let the plot outline fool you:he uses axe only one time in the whole film.The characters are likable(gotta love especially those two moronic heavy metal fans!)and there's no happy ending here.Much more tamer than previous horror film by Robert C.Hughes "Hunter's Blood","Memorial Valley Massacre" is still worth a look.Check it out,if you can find the copy.8 out of 10.

You've heard the phrase "it's so bad it's good". Well it sorta applies to this amusing, yet un-scary horror flick. The acting is atrocious and the script is even worse. However, I couldn't hit the stop button to save my life. Un-intentionally funny! I say it's worth one late night viewing, but that is it. Bottom Line: 4/10! Pure Scholck!!

This film is downright stupid. It has the worst script you could think of, the cheapest effects, the most ANNOYING music EVER!!!!! Yet, I couldn't help but watch this. It was hard not to watch it, and just complain, and laugh the whole time. It's a slasher about a park that's being opened, and apparently some crazy little Tarzan wannabe is killing everybody in the park. While I might not EVER watch this movie again, it was worth watching ONCE. The whole "twist" to the movie is just plain stupid, and not even worth mentioning. Don't watch it alone.....or you'll probably die of boredom. BTW I'm pretty sure that this movie is in public domain...so don't even bother buying it!

Memorial Valley, which has remained an untouched preserve, is opening a campground. Things are off to a rocky start when a mutilated dog is found in a well on opening day. Soon, the valley's first campers find themselves terrorized by a crazy (and rather silly looking) primitive type who is ticked off at the noise and land pollution. So, everyone knows that many 80s horror cheesefests are "so bad they're good." Well, this one is so bad it's...cute? Yeah, I think that's what it is. Everything about it comes across as endearing. I don't see how anyone could watch this and not have a hilarious time. And there's an environmentalist subtext to boot. Fabulous 80s fun. My Rating: 4/10.

Memorial Valley Campground is opening for business, even though they are having a rough start and not quite ready to open. The roads aren't quite ready and no running water are a few of the problems, but the biggest problem is a maniac caveman running around the campground killing off the campers. Extremely dull horror fare is neither gory nor horrifying. Memorial Valley Massacre takes forever to get started and by the time it does you don't even care. The acting is fairly terrible with the caveman being the worst. Who came up with this idea? Even if you are a fan of 80's serial killer movies this is one that is just not worth the bother. BOMB! Zero out of ****

Wow - this movie fails on so many levels and yet for fans of real cinema "cheese" it is a hoot. See, a caveman has been living i the woods for twenty years and no one has ever seen him, but damnit, they open a new campground right near his hunting ground. And this Caveboy hates noise and you how noisy humans were in the late 1980's. The gore is laughable, the acting isn't even community theatre bad, the score is so bizarre and all over the place that I would buy it if I ever came across it - that's how unique and strange it is. Almost every scene starts with the "actors" literally waiting for the Action cue from the director and then they start the scene - so the editing is awful too. Lots of bad speeches - some of the script is Ed Wood level bad. My pals and I laughed at this one a lot. A real cheesfest!

Plot = Memorial Valley Campsite has just opened for business even though it's far from finished. A bunch of campers set up camp, unknowing of the terror that awaits them in the forest. You see, a Tarzan-like forest boy does not approve of the recent changes in Memorial Valley and has decided to start killing the campers. Well I can say that I've definitely never seen a movie about a killer caveman before, cheesy for the first hour in other words just ain't that good only one person dies during that time, however once the movie gets going the last thirty minutes is pretty entertaining as should they be seeing as how fourteen people get killed in the final half hour of the movie. This is one of the last backwoods slashers that we got from the 80s and I think it's pretty safe to say that this was one of the movies that killed the trend. The movie is obviously very low-budget with a bunch of incompetent actors and an even more incompetent special effects team. The gore effects are ridiculous. Memorial Valley Massacre is far from a flawless film but as I said before, the final 30 minutes kind of make the first hour feel worth while. All in all it may not be a very good movie but it's quite enjoyable during the last thirty minutes which is why I've given a 5 instead of a 4.