Mega Piranha

Mega Piranha_720p(480P)

source: Mega Piranha

I really did not know what to expect with this movie. I heard some rumours through the fan group that this was not good. I had little expectations going in, except to just enjoying watching Tiffany, and I have to say, I was entertained throughout. Just don't take it seriously. Some of the scenes and dialouge fall into the "so bad its good" category, but that was pretty much what I expected. Don't expect to see a wide a range of emotions from Tiffany here, but it's not that she in unable to provide it, its the script that is lacking. Hopefully, she continues to make more (and better) movies!

Eric's done it again! This movie delivers exactly what you'd expect. It's both fun and funny! Eric has delivered an amazing film. This film will most likely join the other cult classics. Classics like Swamp Thing and Evil Dead. It's great to see some of these previously unbelievably famous performers get to work again. Tiffany was outstanding. Barry... well... AMAZING. The Piranahs were so cheesy and just perfect. I expect others will take snippets of this film and re-use them the same what Jay Leno did a few weeks after it had been released. Looking for more great work from this writer/director in the future. Great Job Eric!

Starring: Tiffany,Paul Logan and Barry Williams. Written and Directed: Eric Forsberg. There is not going to be a description by this critic that equals this opus,LOL ! The Killer Fish are a sight to beheld with fear ! They are Huge and getting Bigger,Sharp Teeth that can eat Steel,Helicopters(more later) and Scenery. Helicopters,What is wrong with the Asylum ?,They must hate helicopters,Or have past bad Ju-Ju about being trapped by Volcano Ash in airports in Belize or why,Why pick on the poor helicopters…A necessary prop in most B-films since day one of drive-ins. Tiffany- OK sister you pulled this performance out of some orifice,Thanks. Paul Logan-So,Next time you'll have even more to do as you take over 'The Expendable' job of Action Hero. Barry Williams aka Elder Greg Brady,You were stoic and just governmental enough to be believable…thanks from a OF,Original Fan !

Well, my bad. I know better than to watch these "Sci-Fi/Syphilis Original Movies"; yet every once in a while, I get sucked in by a title or premise that seems to have some hope of being entertaining, if only in a cheesy way. Inevitably, I am left feeling dirty and used. Case in point: Mega Piranha. I enjoyed the 1978 movie Piranha a lot, so I figured I'd give this a shot. Here's what I learned before the first commercial break: 1. Lead "actress" Tiffany has long ago used up her 15 minutes of fame and her tragic attempt at being a thespian will not grant her any additional time. 2. If Paul Logan, who plays the hero, spent half as much time in acting class as he does at the gym, he might stand a chance of acting better than a seven year old in a school play. Or maybe his face is just frozen in that surly grimace. (My apologies to all second graders and their parents for this unfair comparison. I'm sure your children can do better than this.) 3. When a piranha bites off a victim's arm, the severed limb will float merrily downstream on top of the water like a bark canoe. 4. Asylum pictures are edited by a teenager with ADHD and no previous editing experience. Music will be layered over every frame in a desperate attempt to create tension and/or interest. It won't help. 5. Mega Piranha can fly without any apparent over-sized pectoral fins such as those that enable the flying fish to leave the water. Perhaps they have been bred with tiny jet rockets up their asses? 6. When your boat is being attacked by Mega Piranha, be sure to stop the engines and wait for them to tear chunks out of the hull, before running back and forth on deck and flinging yourself over the side. Also, be sure to edit the scene badly so that it generates laughter rather than chills: See #4 above. 7. If you have no discernible talent or ability to create computer generated special effects, you can still find work with The Asylum. 8. Lastly, I've learned never, ever to expect a movie like this to get better as it continues. As with all other crap Asylum "films" (I know that's redundant), it's just going to get more ludicrous until it reaches a finale of epic fail proportions with giant Mega Piranha dining on a submarine filled with more bad actors, rocketing from the depths to snack on a helicopter and leaping from the water into tall buildings by the shore. No explanation of how they navigated the shallows but who expected that from the makers of this offal. Truly a work that all involved in can be completely ashamed of.

Tagline: "They were created to save mankind. Something went wrong." You can say that again. SyFy Channel continues to plumb new depths in sci-fi programming with this entry from "auteur" Eric Forsberg. Mega Piranha stands out as the consummate example of low quality, mindless fodder cranked out for the indiscriminating pre-teen viewer. Sadly, a generation of impressionable kids are being trained to accept this level of crap as acceptable entertainment. The screenplay is a decadent mess. With its tale of lab-created monster fishes, the story traces its lineage back to the original Frankenstein story, the seminal work of science fiction. For more than a century, the sci-fi genre has served up some of the most daring and provocative explorations of morality as it pertains to science and technology. Unfortunately, any attempt at such intelligent or provocative story-telling has been jettisoned in this hack effort. The characters are muddled and clichéd, and unlike the original Frankenstein (and Alien, and other classic sci-fi works) this film has no moral compass whatsoever. Token female Tiffany (someone's idea of a milf, I suppose) plays a scientist who helps create a monster form of piranha, although she later describes herself as a "greenpeacer" (when she advocates for a super nuclear strike on her evil creation.) The writer apparently has no clue about eco-politics and simply pulled his characterizations out of thin air (to be polite) without a minute's research (or even a dollop of common sense.) This is perhaps the laziest writing ever perpetrated on sci-fi fans, and one of the stupidest scripts. The US military figures are smart and idealistic do-gooders, while their foreign counterparts are of course blundering idiots. While the South Americans' stupidity is portrayed as evil, the team of North American scientists responsible for the mess are transferred into heroes without the slightest hint of a character turn or transition. They simply realized after the fact that creating monstrous piranhas with accelerated mutating and reproductive capabilities might not have been the best way to "save the world." Wow. Well, clearly they weren't rocket scientists. With their poorly matched lighting, the efx are the typical unconvincing low grade efx churned out for Syfy's bargain basement productions, where quantity bests quality every time. Almost every movie on the channel features efx that looks like they were rushed out by animation interns working for lunch money. You'd think someone in charge might eventually get the idea to re-use and further develop their existing wireframe animations rather than starting from scratch with every production. By pooling their already developed resources, the companies whipping up the endless slew of ogres and monster fishes might eventually come up with a convincing effect. This one is for strictly for kids who are too young to watch real sci-fi movies. Although god only knows how it might warp their perception of the world we actually live on.

This is a great movie.....if you're looking for a laugh! I found myself absolutely killing myself with laughter through out the whole movie. The drama of it all is what really gets you. The acting is extremely intense and serious which just adds to how funny it actually is. Although most of the storyline makes sense for most of the movie, the resolution isn't really clear and leaves you thinking, 'what?!?'. And the chemistry between Fitch and Monroe wasn't obvious at any stage of the movie until the very end. This was probably due to the acting for Jason Fitch who seemed angry for almost the entire time except for on an unusual occasion when he would laugh awkwardly and then go back into his hard, aggressive face. It's hard to imagine any kind of romance could come from that, but I guess he was just trying to portray himself as a tough and solid army guy. All in all, it was a wonderful movie to watch when you're in desperate need of a good laugh.

Devouring everything in its path with ruthless efficiency, wiggling a bloated swollen tail to propel itself from one disaster scene to the next, can anything stop the menace of the Fat Chick Who Ate Tiffany? We could consider the other merits of the movie, but it has none. None at all. It's a SyFy quota quickie, with the usual collection of embarrassingly awful CGI, an utterly nonsensical script made from scraps of coffee stained paper found in community film college trash cans, and a cast harvested from the rejects of daytime soap extra auditions. So instead let's just cut to the chase and talk about the Name in this disaster of a disaster movie: Tiffany. God damn, SyFy has made some bizarre choices in female leads. The criteria is simple enough: take some washed up has-been like Traci Lords or a desperate wannabe like Felicia Day who will work for cab fare and catering, shove them in front of a camcorder and film whatever they feel like shrieking. But at least with the like of Lords or Day, you probably kinda woulda, maybe. But Tiffany looks like she passed on the cab fare and just ate the catering. And everyone else's. And the caterers. Granted, you can't complain about the quantity of T&A on screen, but the quality leaves a lot to be desired. She's about 2 supersized lunches away from being comedy fatso material, only without the laughs. To be fair, if you're into chubby chasing, Tiffany has quite a soft milfy look to her pudgy face, and if SyFy had squeezed her into a corset and filmed her carefully, they might have made something watchable. But making her wobble and waddle from one shoddy location to the next must surely count as cruelty to the disadvantaged.

I actually caught about half of this a month or so ago, but this time I watched the whole thing. It's an Asylum movie, and, if you don't know what that means, you're probably lucky. The Asylum is a company that makes direct-to-video or TV movies that are generally cheap knockoffs of other famous movies (they made Transmorphers, for example, when Transformers came out). They are cheap as Hell, usually contain the worst CGI imaginable, as well as the worst actors to grace this Earth. Lately, they've made a couple of non-knockoffs. Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus was an internet sensation last year, though it probably didn't get watched half as much as it got referenced. Mega Piranha is their follow-up to that film, and it was made for the Sy-Fy network (yes, for those who don't know, Sci-Fi changed their name to Sy-Fy a while back, presumably because they don't want to be associated with actual science nowadays). I must say, Mega Piranha really hits that sweet spot: it's utterly terrible, but always in an amusing way. It's never boring, and it winks just enough at the audience where it doesn't become annoying. It is a perfect example of a so-bad-it's-good movie, and deserves to be on the shelf next to Plan 9 from Outer Space. It stars Paul Logan (a veteran of Asylum with such titles to his name as Komodo vs. Cobra, Cannibal Tattoo and Aliens on Crack (the latter sadly not yet released)) as a military man sent down to Venezuela to convince their military that a sunken ship was not caused by American weapons. Of course, it was caused by piranhas which were created by American scientists. Hey, they were only trying to make fish bigger, so they could feed more people! Among the scientists is former pop star Tiffany (whom you may remember covering the Tommy James classic "I Think We're Alone Now"), and she's not looking too great (certainly she's worse off than Debbie Gibson, who starred in Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus). Logan, Tiffany and the other scientists then try to stop the piranhas, while the Venezuelan military attempts to stop them. Oh, and Barry Williams (aka Greg Brady from The Brady Bunch) is Logan's commander. The piranhas are doubling in size every 36 hours, and in less than a week they will be in the Mississippi. Fortunately, they can't swim in salt water (wait a second...), but then, that soon proves false for no reason in particular (so there's no problem for them to get to the Mississippi, except for maybe they'll be too big then). The plot makes less and less sense as it goes on, but it's a ball to see the horribly rendered fish committing suicide in order to eat people off the beach. When they can't find people, they just jump face-first into a building and start chowing down. The best thing about this movie is the ending: it ends with the heroes celebrating victory, but any toddler watching could probably point out that they have only succeeded in killing one of the billion or so piranha. A hoot for anyone who loves bad movies.