Marry F*** Kill

Trailer—Marry F*** Kill

As I stumbled upon the 2023 TV horror movie, of course I opted to sit down and watch it. I do enjoy horror movies and have so for nearly 40 years. Sure, I had never heard about this TV movie from Tubi, nor do I necessarily think that what airs on Tubi is subpar contents. Writers Ian Carpenter and Aaron Martin put together a fair enough script and storyline for the movie. It wasn't the most scary of stories, but it definitely was watchable for what it turned out to be. The acting performances in the movie were adequate. I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble, but the actors and actresses carried the movie well enough with their performances. Visually then this movie was actually adequate enough. It wasn't a movie that made a whole lot use of special effects, but whatever effects where present certainly were fair enough. So the movie is more of a narrative-driven horror movie than a jump scare driven one. However, I have to say that for a long-time horror fan such as myself, then this 2023 TV movie was like a stroll in the park. The movie didn't come off as being overly scary, but it had the atmosphere working to its advantage. Director Caroline Labrèche delivered a horror movie that proved to be adequate for a single viewing. There wasn't enough contents to the storyline or script to support multiple viewing though. My rating of this 2023 TV movie lands on a five out of ten stars.

Let us start with the bad and then move on to the good! This offering brings the usual need for suspension of disbelief; due more to stupid decisions being made by the characters rather than anything having to do with the subject matter. Did it bring anything new to the screen? NO. Was the storyline anything amazing or even interesting? NO. It was definitely a small screen offering; lower budget, lower expectations. Absolutely nothing that would be greenlit for an actual theatrical run. There really was no cool backstory to lead us into what was going on. It unfolds in a fairly chronological order, letting us in on what exactly is going on by the end. Now for the good! After all that was stated above, I have to say, it was surprising well acted! Some were better than others, but all did a solid job with the material thay were given. Make of that what you will. Also, I found the directing, editing (for the most part), cinematography, and pace, to be fairly well done. In short, it was a solid effort even if nothing new or noteworthy came out. I really expected to give up or start hitting fast forward within the first twenty minutes. I was surprised that It kept me interested enough to watch from start to finish.

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source: Marry F*** Kill

That's 1 hour and 30 minutes I'll never get back. I can only pity the director, who did her best with what she had to build on - that being a poorly written (and unfinished) synopsis. However, we've seen this genre of camp 'horror' SO many times that the ending could be turned into a game in itself: 'Which of 100 monkeys on typewriters can come up with ANYTHING to add an actual conclusion to this dire excuse for a movie?' Sorry, but no self-respecting B-movie fan would get a kick out of this. It's not even worth a spoiler ... They haven't put anything IN this to spoil. Acting ... Great (except the stereotype-aunt). Directing ... She did her best with what she had. Effects ... (available from any joke shop). To paraphrase the title ... ' Avoid, avoid, AVOID!

When a film is described as a TubiTV original...you know it's probably going to be bad. So I fully expected this was going to be much worse than it actually was. Especially considering the title, and introduction of the film. Plotwise, we have a group of friends returning to a house, where their friend killed herself in a demonic ritual, after having a mental breakdown, when her boyfriend convinces her to participate in an orgy (when she wanted to wait to have sex when they were married). With, whatever dark force she unleashed, on the prowl, to reap vengeance, in her name. This demon proceeds to possess his female friends, bang him, and then kill them...as sacrifices meant to bring back his once beloved deceased lover. It turns out, both individuals came from a family of witches...whom shared a connection as partners in a past life. Whose union has been foretold to bring forth the antichrist. The whole thing is rather simply shot. Which, for a TubiTV original, works in it's favour, as opposed to detriment. No doubt, it's still a pretty lame film. But I, personally, expected it to be way worse. So colour me pleasantly surprised. Because, while the acting is rather mediocre. The storyline is actually not too bad. With a couple twists that actually work in the end. Thus, as far as films that end up going straight to TubiTV...this is among one of the better films of the class. 3.5 out of 10.

source: Marry F*** Kill

Seriously. Tubi, we need to talk. You need to stop with the whole "Tubi originals" thing. They're bad. Really bad. Laughably bad. Terror Train was an insult to the original, but it was better than this. This is what happens when a cheap as it gets production company makes a movie so bad Lifetime Movie Network doesn't want it. Noy one thing about this is adequate: the script is eyeroll inducingly poor, the acting is as wooden as the lumber section at Lowe's, and the director mails it in. Who could blame her, really? The first two acts are quite poor but the real craptactular is saved for act three, which features some of the mist hilariously inept makeup effects of all time. Avoid.

The writers of this movie should not be allowed to ride a movie ever ever again. This movie is just as bad as the room, but it is completely unentertaining. I would only recommend this movie to my greatest enemy so that they can suffer as I have suffered. I'm gonna be this bad comes but once in a lifetime and I'm sure the people involved are going to be the ones trying to up the score on this. This is Batman V superman bad I don't think the screen writers have ever left their parents basement. People did not talk like this. All the characters are so annoying and you just want them all to die. This movie is an abomination of Cinema.