Love Bite

Love Bite

I happened to stumble upon the 2012 horror comedy "Love Bite" by random chance here in 2024. Needless to say that I opted to sit down and watch it, given my love of all things horror. And I have to say that the movie's synopsis sounded interesting enough. The storyline in the movie, however, was somewhat disappointing. There just simply wasn't enough of anything happening throughout the course of the 91 minutes that the movie ran for. So writers Ronan Blaney and Cris Cole failed to impress me with what they delivered for director Andy De Emmony to bring to the screen. The narrative was simply lacking tremendously in both the horror and comedy department. And there was a bit too much focus on lewd things, as if the narrative was written by a randy adolescent writer. I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, and that is actually something I do rather enjoy when I sit down to watch a movie. And it should be said that the acting performances in "Love Bite" were actually good. Visually then "Love Bite" wasn't all that impressive. Sure, it wasn't among the worst of special effects movies that I've seen, not even remotely. But the CGI animated werewolf in the movie didn't really look realistic - well, as realistic as a make-believe fantasy creature can get - nor did it look great either. In fact, it looked like something you would find in a late 2000s computer game. While I did manage to sit through the entire 91 minutes that "Love Bite" ran for, this is not an impressive movie. Nor is it a movie that I would recommend for horror comedy fans, because you have to look long and hard to find horror or comedy here. And it is definitely not a movie that I will return to watch a second time. My rating of "Love Bite" lands on a very generous four out of ten stars.

The two main characters of the movie I like, they are quite the charmers. The first part of the movie is very embarassing with the fou r guys trying to get laid desperately and acting more embarassing than all american pie movies combined. Then it doesn't get better when they try to have sex just not getting attacked by werewolves, who supposedly now only eat virgins.

I don't like to run down British films. I knew it was going to be pretty low budget, but I've seen plenty of cheap and fun films. However, this time - when you're dealing with monsters - budget does tend to matter. Love Bite is about a group of four teenage boys in a (fictional) English coastal town who end up being stalked by a (virgin-loving) werewolf. It's billed as a 'sexy, comedy, horror' film. The problem is... if fails on all three of those tags. It's not sexy. There's sex in it. In fact, there's near CONSTANT talk of sex all the way through it. Sometimes it's supposed to be funny. Other times not. Either way, it's hard to tell, as none of it was particularly amusing. The lead actress is American, Jessica Szohr. She's sexy (and also the best actress in the entire film), but if you want to only see a sexy girl, I'm sure you can look enough up on the internet without having to watch this film. It's also not funny enough to be a comedy. It thinks it's funny, but it isn't. From the start I saw they were trying to be like the (classic) Inbetweeners. However, whereas the Inbetweeners lads were all different and amusing, here we only have one likable character (a Simon rip-off) and three utter vile idiots who are nothing more than Jay-wannabes (only Jay's dialogue, although also crude, was amusing and well-written). The film may be about werewolves, but there isn't enough budget for gore and decent monsters. Seriously, if it wasn't for the bad language and sexual nature, I'd let a child watch this film for all the gore and 'horror' that's in it. I wish I could have liked this film, but it just dragged and I was praying for it to end. The best part about it was the police sergeant's daughter who had some great lines and came off as something other than a clichéd stereotype. http://thewrongtreemoviereviews.blogspot.co.uk/

Pros: Best suited for young British viewers as the humour is tailored for their tastes. Cons: Everybody else will be switching off at this kind of British Lad Culture humour. The Story: In a small Scottish seaside town, four teenage boys are trying desperately to lose their virginity, but the advice that their so-called 'expert' Kev is hopelessly bad. One of them, Jamie, runs a B&B with his pothead mother & dreams of going out with one of their guests, the mysterious American tourist Juliana. But at the same time, a series of disappearances of local youths has been occurring & another of Jamie's guests - the eccentric Sid, who claims to be a werewolf hunter - has attributed these to a werewolf hunting virgin flesh & claims that Juliana is a werewolf. Jamie ignores the claims but with his continued inability to get laid & some of his friends starting to vanish, he begins to fall for Juliana's charms despite growing evidence that she is not who she claims to be. In Britain, there exists a social disease that has infected the vast majority of British male youth. It is called "Lad Culture" & is a mix of boorish stupidity, mild misogynistic sexism, pro-alcoholism & all-round general jackassery that makes them do stupid things & cause several kinds of trouble without ever learning from their mistakes. This kind of 'humour' started in the 1990s with several British men's magazines that deliberately put out this kind of content but masked it with a false humorous context that is designed to deflect indirect criticism. Love Bite, a 2012 Scottish B-grader from Andy De Emmony, is a pretty good example of what to expect from this kind of 'humour' (I keep putting that term in quote marks because it is being used in an abstract manner to show that the humour in this film is not good humour). The film is a British version of American Pie but without the rampant sexuality that the source material is known for & filled with the British Lad Culture content that several youth-related films from this location are known for, coupled with a horror story about a virgin-eating werewolf. As it stands, Love Bite is mildly interesting as a tale of a young virgin who can't get laid (probably as a result of his timidness & the bad luck of having a circle of friends who all get their relationship advice from a young 'expert' who clearly has no idea of how to get laid, instead spouting all sorts of chauvinistic advice that is offensive to anybody who actually has a brain) & who does fall for a mysterious American girl who might actually be involved in the disappearances of several of his friends (but not in the way you think). The idea of a werewolf preying on virgins is interesting but is not a consistent concept with traditional werewolf lore & is badly applied here - the werewolf is not terribly fussy about who it kills & in the end the revelation of the werewolf's identity seems to be arbitrarily applied to make up for the fact that we can't seem to guess who it is. However, I did like the way the film ended, with the hero & his American girlfriend (who is actually a werewolf hunter) both being infected with the werewolf affliction & losing their virginity while being werewolves (featuring a funny image of them going at it doggy-style) & a blackly humorous end coda. As for the acting, Jessica Szohr gives a professional performance as the mysterious American tourist whose secret identity provides the counterpoint to the story. Ed Speleers is good enough to carry the show while Timothy Spall is amusing as the hapless werewolf hunter & Kierston Wareing provides some interest as the cop's sexually promiscuous daughter.

Other reviews seem to really hate this movie and I imagine this may be due to British reviewers, now you're probably thinking 'well yeah it's a British movie naturally the brits will know if it's good or not' but you would be wrong. The thing is aside from the British accents this is very much an American style teen movie, so tastes are rather different between the cultures and I can easily see those in the UK disliking the film but that shouldn't cause you to shy away from this. The socially awkward but good looking guy with loser friends are trying day and night to get laid but can't. In comes the gorgeous foreign tourist that takes a shine to the quirkyness of said awkward fellow and the entire movie is spent with the boy trying to lay the hot tourist. Classic teen movie that you see more of from American films circa the late 70s through 80s/90s and to a lesser extent today even. Add to this missing teens and suspected werewolves and a werewolf hunting hermit and you have a your American style teen comedy horror. The acting is unexpectedly superb (given the budget and age of the actors), the jokes are crude as expected but work well (american pie style), the film quality/cinematography/directing/make up/cgi/ are all above par for a low budget horror. If you're looking for a teen comedy/horror this should be on top of your list. rated as a teen comedy 9/10

I saw the trailer for this film, and it did look like it could be a funny film, and it was described as being something for The Inbetweeners audience, so I was kind of surprised to see the lowest of low ratings, from director Andy De Emmony (Kenneth Williams: Fantabulosa!). Basically summer has begun just after school is over for the students in the town of Rainmouth, the dead-end seaside town; some of the students include a group of teenage friends, Jamie (Eragon's Ed Speleers), Kev (Luke Pasqualino), Bruno (Robin Morrissey) and Spike (Daniel Kendrick). Jamie is bored to hell and forced into working for his pothead mother Natalie (Kierston Wareing) at her B&B, while the other guys seem happy working in the pie factory, but they are concentrating more on trying to get sex. Desperate to get out there, and when he gets the chance to every so often, Jamie is out on their nights as well, and at a party he meets beautiful, smart and sexy Juliana (Piranha 3D's Jessica Szohr) from America, but soon after her arrival strange things are happening in the village. This includes many teenagers going missing, and there is rumour of a werewolf in the town, and it is revealed that those missing teens were virgins, and the beast is only hunting for virgin flesh, Sid (Timothy Spall) seems to be the one hunting it. The assumed werewolf hunter is staying at the B&B, and warns Jamie about the werewolf, that he should stay away from Juliana, who Jamie is smitten with, and that he should lose his virginity as soon as possible. For a while he ignores this advice and continues to try and get closer to his new love interest, she does like him very much, but at times seems to try and avoid him for some reason, and eventually he and his friends realise the werewolf threat is true, and that they should pop their cherry quickly to stay safe. Thinking that Juliana may not have any feelings for him, and then later believing Sid's theory that she is the beast, Jamie tries to have sex with the person who has been begging him to shag her, fat and unpleasant Alicia (Rosie Sansom), but he doesn't go ahead with this, and he fails other attempts with some other girls. It turns out the American love interest is not the werewolf, she is in fact a werewolf hunter who provides the service of taking the virginity from people so they will be safe from the danger, but knowing that she has to save lives she cannot give into any feelings she may or may not have for anyone. In the end the werewolf kills Sid who attempts to end the terror, it is cornered and killed by Jamie with a silver spiked arrow, and he finally embraces his feelings with Juliana who is also smitten with him, so he loses his virginity as well with the woman he loves. Also starring Robert Pugh as Sergent Rooney, Imogen Toner as Mandy and Paul Birchard as Reverend Lynch. I agree with the critics that the first half of the film is pretty dreadful with the immature and crude material, a few scenes in the second half has the more material that could have made the film worthwhile, the concept was good sounding, it's just the execution, there wasn't much that made me laugh, and it was not thrilling either, it is a disappointingly terrible British comedy horror. Pretty poor!

Jessica Szohr is very beautiful. That is a fact. Since I haven't seen the TV show she is in yet, I can't say how she is as an actress or judge her in general based on this movie. It would be unfair, because the rating would not be a good one. But that is down to the character she has to portray, which is not much more than being there looking good and saying a few things. Where the movie really loses, is in its jokes department and character development. Even though they try to be as smart and funny as any other teen sex comedy (with added horror elements), it lacks in many departments. It does pull punches on the sexuality too, when it should at least go and try to walk a like here. It never does, but has all the usual clichés ...

Rainborough-on-sea is a down-at-heel English seaside resort, home to Jamie (Ed Speleers) and his friends. Jamie is a likable, normal sort of lad, a good looking virgin who lives at home in his slutty mother's guest house. His friends are witless, charmless, graceless losers. Into Jamie's life comes the gorgeous Juliana (Jessica Szohr), an American roving reporter for a travel website (you can tell she's gorgeous because she frequently walks in slow motion). A mutual interest develops, but Juliana appears to be the target of suspicions from the strange new resident at the guest house, Sid (Timothy Spall). And locals start disappearing whenever the moon is full.... This sounded promising and the trailer had a couple of good gags, so I was hopeful that we would end up with a British horror/comedy to rival An American Werewolf In London, particularly after the dud that was Lesbian Vampire Killers. Plus, after Eragon, Ed Speelers could do with something to establish a bit of credibility. Alas, both our hopes were dashed. Admittedly, they got some stuff right. The atmosphere of a British seaside resort well past its prime is conveyed effectively (I live in one such place and Clacton is another, doing a good job of looking fairly unattractive to holidaymakers - being filmed out of season also contributes here, too). Speleers is personable, Szohr is hot enough to sizzle, and there are one or two directorial flourishes which are pleasing. That's about it, though. Now let's look at what is wrong. One, the 3 lads are simply awful (and the film knows they are awful because it has Jamie remark on that fact more than once). Two, the film is inhabited by a deeply unpleasant female equivalent of the other 3 lads: equally crude and crass and, as written, devoid of any sense of reality. Three, there is a police sergeant who is completely unbelievable. Four, the usually reliable Timothy Spall plays his character broad instead of straight, which removes any possibility that he might come across as amusing. Five, all attempts at humour falls flat - this film is not even slightly funny. Six, the film is not only not funny, it is also not even slightly horrific. Seven, the werewolf reveal, when it comes (you know it's not going to be Juliana because she has been so obviously set up to be the werewolf from the start) is not shown clearly enough for you to be certain who it is. I think it was the police sergeant: if so, that doesn't make sense, because Juliana has been following him around Europe - how can he be a roving werewolf and a resident Plod in some seedy British seaside resort? And, eight, the ending is just horrible - Juliana is infected, so Jamie infects himself, there is a crap animation of two werewolves going at it doggy style, then they go off to America to hunt virgins to feed on. Awful. I do suggest avoiding this one.

I thoroughly enjoyed this film. (So much so that I have now seen it twice.) True there is quite a lot of all the (crude) stuff that other reviewers have mentioned, but there is also a story line that holds together remarkably well for a film about werewolves. In the course of the film suspicion falls on various characters as to which one is actually becoming the werewolf at the time of the full moon. I felt at times I was watching a murder who-done-it. By the end of the film all the earlier 'loose ends' are tied up in a satisfying way that makes logical sense of the script. The film's characters are, to a greater or lesser extent, larger than life (if not downright quirky) - but no more so than might be reasonably expected in a film of comic fantasy. All in all I found this to be a very original story. It was well paced and kept me interested from start to finish. The seaside setting was also refreshing and occasionally provided a picturesque backdrop. In my opinion Love Bite is well worth seeing (at least once). 6/10.